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to ask for a kick up the arse...

(16 Posts)
Elfina Wed 28-Jan-15 15:03:42

I think I have a really good life. I'm 30, I'm married to a wonderful man who loves me. I have a wonderful job. I've got two frigging doctorates. We're not rich, but we have enough money. Nice flat in nice part of London. A beautiful, charming, funning 2 year old.

But I feel so flat. I thought that I appreciated my luck, but I just feel…I don't know. I'm not unhappy. But I'm not happy. Sort me out. MNers sad

lionheart Wed 28-Jan-15 15:11:00

I don't think you need a kick up the arse.

redexpat Wed 28-Jan-15 15:17:42

Read this book: How to do everything and be happy by Peter Jones. It'll help you kick yourself up the arse smile

Elfina Wed 28-Jan-15 15:19:45

What do I need Lionheart?

LaurieFairyCake Wed 28-Jan-15 15:21:38

No kick needed. It's a feeling and needs to be looked at, not ignored or kicked out of you.

Hatespiders Wed 28-Jan-15 15:26:03

Don't feel guilty, and I'm certainly not going to give you a kick. smile
It may just be winter blues; I detest the winter time and by the end of January I'm nearly climbing the walls believe me.
I wonder if you have the beginnings of depression? Or haven't got enough close friends? (not just fun friends, but ones you can confide in and talk to)
Would some kind of voluntary work fulfil you? You might find helping others less fortunate is satisfying.
You're obviously a very intelligent woman with two doctorates to your name (and frigging ones sound even more impressive!grin) so I wonder if your mind is being stretched enough? What about more studies of some sort?
And do you belong to any clubs or groups which might give your intellect a workout?
If you get very low, I should see your GP though as depression can get tough.

Elfina Wed 28-Jan-15 15:35:04

I work in a very caring profession, and I know that I do good work for my patients.

I take anti-depressants for an anxiety issu (which have worked really well for that!).

I have friends, but they live quite far away.they are at very different places in their lives, too.

Don't have any hobbies. Don't know when if get chance to do any to be honest, or what would interest me.i did ask on here once but most of the suggestions were crafty, which isn't really me.

I do read an awful lot and I run. But I you know.

LaurieFairyCake Wed 28-Jan-15 15:37:32

You need the thing, the passion.

Could you join a running club and make some friends closer to you?

Hatespiders Wed 28-Jan-15 15:39:46

Have you thought of writing? It can be very absorbing and cathartic too.

I'm now wondering if the medication for anxiety has 'flattened down' your enthusiasms?
You do sound very low and fed up.

Hope you can find a solution flowers

redexpat Wed 28-Jan-15 15:43:12

Reading that book will help you. I promise. It's v good for people who feel that there must be more to life, who are neither happy nor unhappy.

Elfina Wed 28-Jan-15 15:43:15

I've been on the anxiety meds for a long while. This flat mood has been over the last couple of months.

I'd like to join a running club, but they go out quite late, and I guess I feel guilty about not being home as I work full time with an hour commute each way.

I feel like I'm failing in some way. But I don't know what that failure is.

intlmanofmystery Wed 28-Jan-15 16:02:19

I suspect you're suddenly asking yourself "is this it?!". All that hard work, finding a partner, having a child, enjoyable job, good life etc still doesn't feel like its enough. I have been there, I know other friends who appear to have EVERYTHING but are still not happy because it feels like something is "missing". Without knowing you its hard to identify but setting yourself a crazy goal (you sound quite goal/achievement oriented) may help and give you some focus.

Elfina Wed 28-Jan-15 16:34:14

Oh god. I think I am depressed. Have booked an appointment with the GP for next week.

intlmanofmystery Wed 28-Jan-15 16:49:17

Good that you are going to see the GP but I wouldn't necessarily assume you are depressed (as I'm sure you know the same meds used for depression are often prescribed for anxiety). I would recommend talking it through with a professional - whether a counsellor or therapist to try and identify why you feel like this. It is not uncommon and someone independent may be better at finding the trigger points (and they may surprise you!). Good luck!

Elfina Wed 28-Jan-15 16:58:07

Thank you. Therapy would be a good idea and what I'd recommend to anyone in the same situation but sessions are about £80 a go here, and that would be a bit too much at the mo.

Elfina Wed 28-Jan-15 17:00:23

And yes, that's initially what I thought regarding the anti-anxiety meds!

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