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Aibu to want to start again even though DH isn't keen?

(11 Posts)
Sothisishowitfeels Wed 28-Jan-15 10:02:57

I 31 now I did ok at school and although I always wanted to do some sort of health related job my parents were very pushy that I didn't and I did history. My fault for listening but I can't change that now.

After leaving uni I had no interest in any career related to my degree and Dh and I quickly got married and had 5 children who are now all school/nursery age.

In that time DH and I started a company which was DHs dream career, the company is doing ok now after 5 years and I have worked very hard (so has dh) to get things going. To be honest though I don't enjoy It and have no real interest in the job itself. I am there pretty much as DHs helper, I do accounts and organisation and pretty much all the jobs that everyone else there is too "qualified" to do.

I would really like to just start again, I would like to go to college and do a science a level or a access course and then apply for nursing at uni.

Dh says I should do what I want but at the same time he has made it pretty clear that he wants me to stay at the company and doesn't really want me to do it

Aibu to want to do this?

MiddleAgedandConfused Wed 28-Jan-15 10:15:17

YANBU
You've supported him through the tough start-up phase of the business - now it's time for you to do what you want.
You could work part-time whilst you get your A-levels and then retrain to any job you like.
Good luck - I am actually feeling jealous!

LaurieFairyCake Wed 28-Jan-15 10:17:20

Can you do half and half. A part time nursing qual? They do, do it.

Access course in only a couple of days a week.

CeartGoLeor Wed 28-Jan-15 10:22:14

YANBU in the least. You've helped him get his dream off the ground, now he supports your steps to get the professional life you want. As a previous poster said, access course requirements (in the sense of actual contact time in class- obviously you need study time) aren't onerous, so there's plenty of time to combine co-running the business with your studies until you need to start your degree, by which time you and he will gave had a chance to sort things out. Good luck!

kaykayred Wed 28-Jan-15 10:23:30

Exactly what the previous posters said.

Davsmum Wed 28-Jan-15 11:49:37

I would do what you want to do now otherwise you will always regret it.

I don't see why you should still help out at the business either ( unless you want to) as you have done enough to get it started and they should be able to employ someone to do what you were doing.

I have always regretted not taking opportunities that I should have taken because I did what other people wanted me to do. It really is not worth missing out, especially as you have been so supportive. Now it is your DHs turn to support YOUR dreams.

fullsuspension Wed 28-Jan-15 11:56:11

There is also much to be said for both partners not being employed in the same business. Ok you'll earn little for a few years but in time your salary will be very much worth having and provide more security of income for the family.

One of the advantages of having your family early is you do genuinely have time to start again in your career - don't let your DH stop you.

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit Wed 28-Jan-15 11:59:37

You should do it, you wont regret going for what you want. You've got decades left in your working life, re-train in something you enjoy and are passionate about. Good luck!

Bettercallsaul1 Wed 28-Jan-15 12:01:36

Most definitely pursue your own career now that you have the chance. Many people choose the wrong path career-wise when they are young but luckily these days there is often the opportunity to retrain and have a new start. You are sure of what you want now, so go for it! It sounds to me as if you have made yourself a very useful asset to your husband's company - no wonder he doesn't want to lose you! But the company was his dream, not yours, and it is very important that you now have your turn at doing something meaningful and rewarding.

GokTwo Wed 28-Jan-15 18:49:13

Go for it op. I have a male friend who had a very similar ultimatum given to him as a young person. he ended up pursuing a career that he hated and has never left. He really regrets not trying something else. Go for it. It'd be horrible to look back and feel regretful years on.

TheyLearnedFromBrian Wed 28-Jan-15 19:11:35

Your turn now.

DH's turn to show that he's as quality a partner as you have been smile

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