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AIBU to not always take my children to the supermarket

(45 Posts)
SantasFavouriteHo Wed 28-Jan-15 09:45:07

My "mother" (bi-polar narc) has suggested that getting the food shopping delivered/online shop is an act of cruelty as I'm not teaching my children where food comes from (either the animal or the country)
We go out shopping probably 1/2 weeks out of 4 so it's only about half the time but the kids are only just turned 4 and 20 months and we don't drive so sometimes getting a nice man to bring it in after they're asleep is a bit easier
For context, my mother had 2 children with a 10 year gap and was a sahp all that time (never really worked) and had exclusive use of a car full time
I work every evening/night, dp works every day, we have 2 preschoolers with a 2.5 year gap, don't drive and no support from anyone
So I ask aibu? I will obey the majority and take the kids out every week if you think I am

FamilyAdventure Wed 28-Jan-15 09:48:19

Kids do need to learn where food comes from, but they won't learn that at the supermarket. YANBU

Tulipblank Wed 28-Jan-15 09:49:26

I never take mine to the supermarket. Life's too short! I always shop online. I must be an abusive parent. What a load of rubbish.

Nolim Wed 28-Jan-15 09:51:13

I wish i had known about online grocery shoping when dc was a baby. And as adventure said that food come from plants animals etc is something that you dont learn at a store.


Theselittlelightsofmine Wed 28-Jan-15 09:51:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hoppus Wed 28-Jan-15 09:51:28

Of course yanbu, it's only shopping! Someone else may even think its unreasonable to take toddlers to a supermarket where they will lick all the oranges. Who cares how you do it.

FWIW my almost 20month would think it an act of cruelty if the shopping stopped coming to the door. It excites her a strange amount.

DeanKoontz Wed 28-Jan-15 09:51:34

absolutely yanbu. That's what online shopping is for!

I take my 2 to the supermarket so rarely it's like a massive treat for them, they love it and are very good, but it still is a stressful for me, and costs me more as they get quite into it and want stuff we wouldn't normally have. Not sweets and stuff particularly. Last time it was gorgonzola cheese and fresh mackerel grin. Cant be doing with that on a weekly basis.

As long as you're taking them now and then, I think that's fine. Let your mum take them if she wants. Give her a list and the kids and see how long she lasts.

OllyBJolly Wed 28-Jan-15 09:53:18

YANBU - at all. You're demonstrating good time and resource management. If you were really showing them where food came from you'd be down the allotment.. smile

What I don't get is when I see whole families out doing the weekly shop - maw, paw, teenagers, babies.... Why?

JohnFarleysRuskin Wed 28-Jan-15 09:53:21

Goodness, can't she find any greater crimes to criticize?!

Finding out where food comes from are discussions that are as easily had in the kitchen as they are blocking up the aisles in a busy supermarket.

ISolemnlySwearImUptoNoGood Wed 28-Jan-15 09:54:41

This is probably one of the oddest things I ever heard hmm I don't understand how anyone could think it's borderline abuse to not take children to the supermarket every time you go!

My 3 older children never go to the supermarket anymore, they are school age and I shop when they are at school because I have more time.

What an idiotic thing for her to say!

Yanbu smile

Nolim Wed 28-Jan-15 09:56:05

"Give her a list and the kids and see how long she lasts"
Great ideasmile

Floggingmolly Wed 28-Jan-15 09:56:54

Food doesn't come from the supermarket confused At least, that's the last link in the chain of distribution, of course, but Jesus!!
Take them to a farm if you really think they're missing out on this vital bit of information.

WorraLiberty Wed 28-Jan-15 09:58:00

YANBU but then you obviously know that.

Did she actually use the words "Act of cruelty?"

SistersOfPercy Wed 28-Jan-15 09:58:01

I never took mine (the days before online shopping!) Friday night DH and I would drop them at the inlaws, go to Tesco, pick up a Chinese on the way home and then collect them the following morning.
They are 17 and 21 now. They know where food comes from grin

hoobypickypicky Wed 28-Jan-15 09:58:55

Food doesn't come from the supermarket. It comes from the farm and the field, in some cases via the slaughterhouse. Taking children to Waitrose won't teach them that.

Ordering online will make your life easier and save you time. Your mother is BVU.

FamilyAdventure Wed 28-Jan-15 10:02:30

Dean, absolutely. I can easily say no to sweets but when they ask for broccoli even though it's not on my meal plan....

I do think it's worth taking them occasionally for top up shops like bread and milk, so they can see cash changing hands and deal with change etc but again big supermarket shop, usually paid by card, doesn't achieve that.

FamilyAdventure Wed 28-Jan-15 10:05:13

I did have a disturbing conversation with a yr4 (8yo) at school recently who was convinced chicken and fish are the same thing. Both come in a box, wrapped in orange breadcrumbs. He had no idea that either related to the animal fish or bird, so it is something that needs to be "taught" rather than absorbed, but not at the supermarket.

Stinkle Wed 28-Jan-15 10:06:19

God no.

I hate taking mine shopping, I have a theory that my local Sainsbury's puts something in their air conditioning that turns normally well behaved children into absolute PITAs in an attempt to get us to buy shit we don't need in order to shut them up/get out of the shop quicker grin

I do it when the little blighters are at school

I don't think taking them to a supermarket necessarily teaches them where food comes from anyway to be honest, there are a million better ways of doing it

ouryve Wed 28-Jan-15 10:07:56

There are lots of ways in which people are cruel to children. Only taking them to a supermarket once or twice a month is not one of them.

TestingTestingWonTooFree Wed 28-Jan-15 10:14:15

Your mother is an idiot. If that's the worst thing you do, you're a saint.

JennieR60 Wed 28-Jan-15 10:17:33

Oh god no I do all my shopping online. I like previous poster think supermarkets do sometjing evil to children.

You dint have to go to the supermarket to learn about food just open the fridge and talk about it.

pregnantpause Wed 28-Jan-15 10:25:58

Yanbu. Taking them to the supermarket would in no way teach them where food comes from- if anything it could teach them that food is constantly available- not especially valued, there are tomatoes and asparagus year round, soup comes in cans and cartons, you will be rewarded for excess and the cheaper a thing is the betterwinkshock

Supermarkets are actually designed to make you buy more want more and pay as little as possible for it ( just look at the dairy farmer threads) there's nothing to be learnt in a supermarket except patience smile

wobblyweebles Wed 28-Jan-15 10:28:12

You mean food doesn't come from the guy in the Tesco van?

* is shocked *

magimedi Wed 28-Jan-15 10:30:43

Surely all food comes from Jesus - in a cabbage van? grin

MajesticWhine Wed 28-Jan-15 10:38:16

YANBU. My DM thinks I am "bone-idle" to always have the shopping delivered. But it makes sense. Shopping with little ones is to be avoided at all costs.

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