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To feel really sad for DS

(41 Posts)
WhenIsItHappyTime Tue 27-Jan-15 21:53:48

Have name changed, not for this thread, but just for a change, new year etc!

Anyway, feeling really sorry for DS (17) tonight, he's been dumped by his gf and it would seem her mother has had a big say in proceedings.
This is his second gf ever and they have both dumped him sad
He has now stormed off to bed, slamming doors on the way, saying that he's not good enough for anyone,
It breaks my heart to see him like this, she was here at the weekend and he was so happy, and now this.
I've just sent him a little txt telling him he's lovely and there's plenty more fish in the sea (corny but true!?) etc etc
It's pants seeing them upset isn't it?

Caronaim Tue 27-Jan-15 21:54:58

Poor DS. Being a teen can be soooo hard.

Aeroflotgirl Tue 27-Jan-15 21:56:38

Awwww bless, your poor ds flowers

Donnadoon Tue 27-Jan-15 21:58:16

Tell him he had a lucky escape from the MIL she would have got worse with time I expect grin

Ujjayi Tue 27-Jan-15 21:59:56

Heartbreaking. Why not try going up to him in a bit with a hot chocolate or snack of some sort? Gives you an excuse to see how he's doing & him the opportunity to talk (might be less hard for him than having to come out of his room)?

lostinindia Tue 27-Jan-15 22:00:45

Uurgh it sucks. Can you take him a cup of tea, see if he's ready for a hug?

Letmeeatcakecakecake Tue 27-Jan-15 22:04:32

I'm absolutely dreading the day some little bitch girl breaks my babies heart!

Take him up a cup of tea and some chocolate and remind him that no woman will ever love him like his mother!

I tell me son that all the time.. Luckily he's 5 so probably doesn't have a clue what I am on about!

mywholelifeisaheadache Tue 27-Jan-15 22:05:21

Take him up a beer - or send his dad up with one

lomega Tue 27-Jan-15 22:07:51

Poor boy. Sounds like he's having it rough sad

You can however both put this down to experience; he will learn how to get over these failed relationships, and you will learn how to 'weather the storm' when someone else hurts your child and it's outside of your control. I hope that doesn't sound callous, it must be horrible seeing him upset. But once we start to form romantic relationships and have feelings growing up, it can be difficult knowing how to deal with them, so this can all be put down to experience.

I got dumped a few times when I was young, and it really sucked. There were a variety of reasons, some trivial, some hurtful, with each failed relationship. I remember one guy at 15 dumping me by text when I was queuing in the bank and I'd seen him the previous week and everything had been fine! It is confusing and bewildering and love hurts, yada yada, but I'm glad I had those heartache moments, as they made me stronger and who I am today.
My mum found it hard too just like you are finding it right now, she told me she irrationally hated the boys doing it to me, even though we were just kids really. She even once made me promise never to date anyone ever again in a dark moment! Though I am sure now I gave her a GS about oooh 15 years on, she didn't mean that grin

Chin up. You're a lovely mummy. He will find someone else

Gunpowder Tue 27-Jan-15 22:12:13

Oh it's absolutely heartbreaking. I don't think it is ever as bad after that first time.

He will find the right person and neither of them will have a doubt in their minds or be able to be persuaded otherwise by MILS, but it doesn't stop the hurt. Apparently it takes an average of three months to get over heartbreak. Hope it goes quickly for him and he gets a lovely new GF with a DM who's onside. and makes ex jealous

DamnBamboo Tue 27-Jan-15 22:12:27

Take him up a cup of tea and some chocolate and remind him that no woman will ever love him like his mother!

That'll cheer him up no end!

browneyedgirl86 Tue 27-Jan-15 22:12:37

Your poor DS. I agree with those saying him take him up a drink and see if he wants to chat.

Salmotrutta Tue 27-Jan-15 22:16:37

It's so difficult when their problems start becoming those you can't fix like helping with homework and sorting out little worries that small kids have.

Poor lad - she wasn't good enough for him I'm sure smile

mrsfuzzy Tue 27-Jan-15 22:20:01

it's painful but as we all know it's part of growing up, but at least your ds has a loving family to help him through, i wouldn't slag the girl off too much though, if he still cares about her he won't want to hear. esp. if her mum was involved and the girl felt under pressure, who knows the may work it out, and words can't be unsaid. hope he feels better soon.

Letmeeatcakecakecake Tue 27-Jan-15 22:25:04

Damn- Id be telling all his future girlfriends that too!

MedusaIsHavingaBadHairday Tue 27-Jan-15 22:25:04

It's horrible. I have been through it three times with my kids.. DS1 twice and DD2 once. DS1 was dumped by his g/f in October after 2 years..he is 21 and really thought she was the ONE. Seeing my grown up child sobbing that he was not good enough, should have been more perfect for her was simply heartbreaking.

DD2 cried solidly for about 2 weeks.. I even had to sleep with her at night as she was distraught. She was 17 at the time (dumped by text after more than a year) and tbh it has taken her 3 years to trust anyone again, but she now has a lovely boyfriend at Uni who seems to adore her.

They DO recover. But it takes time and there is little you can do except reassure him that he IS good enough and there will be someone out there for him.

DS1 has taken a while to recover. He spent every weekend driving 100 miles to be with his g/f and lost touch with local friends as a result. But he is now back out and about, seeing his mates, playing his guitar in pubs and clubs and is cheerful once more, 4 months down the line.

Just be there; offer tea, hugs and an ear if he wants to talk. It will pass.
But it sucks and it's so much harder when you can't just fix it for them :/

DamnBamboo Tue 27-Jan-15 22:27:06

Damn- Id be telling all his future girlfriends that too

I tell my 3DS this all the time. They can even beat me to it when I say 'listen son, remember.....' and they finish my sentence off for me smile

I just don't think that's what he wants to hear right now.

Why would you say that to his future GFs? Unless you want to be positioned at the future crazy MIL and put girls off of him.

ILovedYouYesterday Tue 27-Jan-15 22:29:22

Aw, bless him but, at the age (and I guess any age really) it's better to end it, if it's not right for whatever reason, rather than let it limp on for months. I wish my first bf had dumped me before Christmas, when he wanted to, rather than dragging it out until April, by which time we were both pretty miserable (I still adored him, and was devastated, even though I'd known his heart wasn't in it any more) We were both 16.

Just trying to see the positive here but I do feel for him brew cake flowers

WhenIsItHappyTime Tue 27-Jan-15 22:46:14

Thanks everyone, some sensible words spoken smile
last year DD finished with her bf after 6 years!!! But it was amicable and they still see each other for a cuppa and they are alot older.
this is very different and is all part and parcel of teen angst, (I can remember it well)
Just been into him and hes
pretending to be asleep sad

GlitteryLipgloss Tue 27-Jan-15 22:51:48

Awww bless him. it's a very lonely time.

I remember when I was dumped my sister texted me throughout the day to remind me she loved me and that I would find someone lovely one day.

It really helped as a silent phone is horrible!

If he walks last you grab him for a cuddle. A mums cuddle is amazing no matter how old you are.

MummyBeerest Tue 27-Jan-15 22:52:06

Teen breakups suck.

It's nice that you're there for him. I'm sure he'll want to talk more soon.

Imi22sleeping Tue 27-Jan-15 23:13:59

When I spilt up with my first boyfriend my dad came in and hugged me so tight I cried and cried and cried then he went out the room and never mentioned it again that was 13years ago and I still remember that maybe just give him a hug poor guy teenage years suck

Musicaltheatremum Tue 27-Jan-15 23:17:30

My son's girlfriend dumped him after 2 years. They were 19 and 17. She then decided they could be friends or even get back together then led him on a wild goose chase. I was in tears initially myself as I am overprotective of my children having lost their father 3 years ago. But they have to move forward. It is awful though.

LuluJakey1 Tue 27-Jan-15 23:36:24

There is no way my 4 week old precious DS is ever going out with girls (or boys). He is staying home with me and his daddy where he is safe.

mrsfuzzy Tue 27-Jan-15 23:43:16

we've all said that, seems strange when you look at young baby that one day all being well, that they will be out there in the big world, and you have to let go, heck it is difficult.

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