About this baby music group?

[acattocatchat]

I attend a weekly music group with my 1yo DD and we both enjoy it, for the most part. However, there are two things that bother me and not sure if IABU (and how to deal with the latter).

1. There is a big sign up saying 'We don't put instruments in our mouths!' to which the teacher makes occasional reference.
   

These are 3 month old plus babies. Of course they put the blimmin instruments in their mouths! Who cares?!

1. Each song has a toy or instrument to accompany it; these are taken out and put back over the course of the lesson. My DD gets really ticked off when her favourite toys get taken away. Why not just leave them all out in the middle? And (not an AIBU but) is there anything you can do about a 1 yo having a tantrum besides distracting and comforting?!

[Stampysladygarden]

YANBU I run baby music groups. I clean the instruments with anti bacterial spray or hot soapy water after classes.

And I never give things out to take them back a song later. It's mean.

[Innocuoususername]

1. YANBU. Putting things in mouths is what babies do, the teacher should be providing stuff that is easily washable if she's that bothered.
   
2. YABU. I go to a group like this, the taking things then giving them back is an important part of the learning. It's not just about the music and dance, it's about taking turns, helping to tidy up, following instructions...having said that, if a child is particularly attached to something the teacher lets them keep hold of it until the end, no problem, so your teacher is also BU.

[iklboo]

'We don't put instruments in our mouths!'

News to saxophonists, recorder players.......

[Chavaloy]

I remember being told very firmly at one of these music groups that my son 'had problems' because he couldn't sit still and kept crawling off my lap to reach the toys. He was 6 months old.

[Suddengeekgirl]

I went to one of those groups.
Ds wanted everything ASAP, he was the only toddling child there and the only one smart enough to see the big box of instruments and get the lid off and help himself! This was frowned upon. As was ds wanting to try all the instruments. As was ds not sitting still.

I didn't go back!

[Fiddlerontheroof]

I'm an early years music specialist...and completly second what vertdeterre says !

[Nicknacky]

I've been to one of these classes this morning and the only reference to putting instruments in their mouths is when they are trying to walk with them!

I think yabu about the instruments being collected. It teaches them to return things and keep the class tidy. Although if a baby looks like they will kick off if they have the toy removed then they keep them, no big issue made about it.

[ElfontheShelfIsWATCHINGYOUTOO]

2. YABU. I go to a group like this, the taking things then giving them back is an important part of the learning. It's not just about the music and dance, it's about taking turns, helping to tidy up, following instructions..
i thought these groups were supposed to be fun?

all the above is learned in the course of every day life! and at other groups, and play situations.

i think making them put the instrument back, when they want it at all of one years old is ridiculous.

[YellowYoYoYam]

Yanbu.

I went to a group like this only the teacher had props at the front that she kept saying the children could come and play with if they liked. My DD was the only crawler here and she kept trying to get to the toys so eventually, because the teacher had kept saying the children could come up and play with them, I let her go... only for the teacher to remove everything DD touched from her hands and put them back in the box.

We didn't go back after that.

[ElfontheShelfIsWATCHINGYOUTOO]

sorry meant to add, as your paying £££ big bucks for this sort of thing, as opposed to a pound at a toddler group, where they put away, and share...

[ElfontheShelfIsWATCHINGYOUTOO]

I wouldnt be taking a baby to a class like this to be taught this.

[GotToBeInItToWinIt]

My DD is 14 months and still puts everything in her mouth. It's how they explore and learn. Ridiculous rule for a baby class.

Agree that they should be encouraged to give things back and share, however I would leave a child to hold on to something they were particularly attached to.

[Scholes34]

It's sixteen years since I went anywhere near a class like this. How much do you pay now? Is it really worth it? (I'm guessing it's not cheap).

[Nicknacky]

I'm £5 a week for Jo Jingles.

[LadyLuck10]

Yanbu, you can't expect a 6 month old or even a year old child to understand these concepts. I wouldn't go back as it just seems ridiculous and a bit stressful to keep sticking to these 'rules'.

[Innocuoususername]

Elf, yes these groups are supposed to be fun, but I don't think it does any harm (even at the age of one) to start introducing concepts like tidying and following instructions. Even at this age fun has to come with boundaries surely? Or should we be teaching kids it's ok to just walk out and leave th e teacher to clear up?

But as I made clear in my post, at the group I go to the teacher is not dogmatic about it, she would certainly let a child hold onto something to prevent a tantrum. Which is why I think the teacher is also BU here.

[acattocatchat]

Good point iklboo :)

I get the whole tidying/sharing thing but I think the babies there are way too little to understand these concepts (albeit we do tidy at home when DD is bored and finished with certain toys).

I would go to another group if one was available. Slim pickings round here! We used to go to one run by a lovely earth mother type but it was really for pre-mobile babies.

[Aherdofmims]

Yanbu re putting in mouths.

Yabu re the giving things back. I have always assumed this was part of the learning. There has never been any problem with this at ds' under 1 class.

[DoJo]

Mine went to a similar class at that age - instruments could be explored with mouths (so YANBU about that), but the putting back and tidying thing was very much a part of the process and he actually loved it once he got the hang of it.

They don't have to understand that it is for the greater good, etc, just that there is a time when we play and a time when we put the toys away, just like there is a time for eating, a time for playing in the bath, a time for sleeping etc - they really can understand the concept of doing different things at that age, they just need to recognise the cues, which I'm sure she will if you keep going to the group...

[Allstoppedup]

Same as PP, I think the no instruments in the mouth thing is crazy...babies explore the world with their hands and mouths when they are this small.

As for giving things back, we do several groups and I don't have a problem with it. It stops them getting too distracted/ caught up in one thing so they can enjoy the next song etc and now DS is older he loves 'helping' by putting things back in the bags. If DS ever tantrums about something being taken away, I still tend to distract/ignore, that seems to work best for us (DS is 13 months now and we've been going to his music group since 8 weeks!) .

[LovesBooks]

I can't do groups like that. My son is 16 months and will just walk around constantly no matter what I do to engage him. After the leader snootily said he was not as good as the other children, I did not go back. He was not bothering anyone, just walking around the middle dancing Made me feel awful, like there was something wrong with my parenting and my son that he could not sit and listen. Luckily my mum spoke to me after and mentioned how I would sit there good as gold but my sister was constantly up and about.

I find them far too structered for little ones so YANBU

[Innocuoususername]

LovesBooks what a cow that leader was!

Thinking about this some more, I found that this was a difficult age for groups. Once they're on the move they're no longer welcome at Bumps and Babes type groups, but they are still too little for any kind of detailed instruction or for more unstructured groups where they're at the mercy of far bigger pre-schoolers. IME it got better at 18mos, though at nearly 3 DS still has days where he wants to wander around not listening....and that's fine.

[DoJo]

Toddler soft-play is what we did at that age - plenty of room to explore and fall over without injury, but no 'led' play and able to move around at will. We have a couple which are held in village halls etc round here, or the toddler section of a normal soft play (probably the only time age-appropriate children use those areas!).

[acattocatchat]

VertdeTerre I think you're right.

It sounds like there are some horrible baby class teachers out there. Why do the job if you're not crazy about babies?!