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To be offended by this?

(41 Posts)
LittleMissRayofHope Mon 26-Jan-15 17:42:36

Several months back my DD developed a nasty d&v bug, I had just had a new born and my DH did much of the caring for dd so he got it from her.

The night he developed it we had eaten a home made curry (as in paste and coconut cream and spices etc) one we have eaten hundreds of times. It's a regular on my meal planner as its a winner.

Since then DH has claimed he can't eat it as it gave him the d&v bug. I was annoyed but could understand an association so let it go.
Yet, every time I've tried to cook any form of curry he says he doesn't fancy it. But he will happily go out for curry. I mean he'll go out to get take out or go for curry on his lunch break.

So I'm seeing that the only common factor is me. Basically he won't eat a curry if I cook it.

Would this annoy you? Or am IBU for being put out by this completely irrational behaviour?

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe Mon 26-Jan-15 17:45:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SandStorm Mon 26-Jan-15 17:46:31

I suspect it's that particular curry. I had a very bad upset stomach about 2 years ago (repeated vomitting, passing out) and I'd had pesto that night. I still can't eat pesto and it used to be one of my favourites so I really wouldn't be offended if he doesn't want homemade curry. I really don't think it's you.

LittleMissRayofHope Mon 26-Jan-15 17:47:14

I can identify with that which is why I haven't attempted to make that curry type again. But he isn't off curry... Unless I cook it!!

FarOverTheRainbow Mon 26-Jan-15 17:47:32

I use to always make lasagne and over 6 months ago I got a V&D bug had nothing to do with what I ate but it's put me off so much so I haven't ate it since even though it use to be one of my most favourite thins

WowOoo Mon 26-Jan-15 17:47:41

So, it's the association of curry + you cooking it?

I'd see it as a great opportunity to say 'Sorry, we are having curry tonight. You'll have to make your own dinner'.

It would annoy me a bit. My dh is on and off his 'diet' - so I never know whether to keep him or offer some dinner. I hate wasting food and if it's healthy and nutritious and he still rejects it because he's had a slap up lunch it bugs the hell of out me. It all depends on his mood.

Alpacacino Mon 26-Jan-15 17:48:38

I can sympathise with your DH. the last thing eaten before D&V can really disgust someone for quite a while afterwards which is why I've not really enjoyed eating chips since 2002

I wouldn't take it personally. Take it off the menu.

tethersend Mon 26-Jan-15 17:48:39

Tell him he can cook it.

Hey presto! Problem solved.

TheGirlFromIpanema Mon 26-Jan-15 17:49:45

How is he otherwise? Is he generally picky with you?

If it's a one off 'thing' and out of charachter for him, I'd probably leave it alone and eat all the yummy curries by myself in future

If it was one among many put-downs/bad behaviours I'd look at the whole picture iyswim.

HowCanIMissYouIfYouWontGoAway Mon 26-Jan-15 17:51:03

how long after he'd eaten it did he get the symptoms?

Nervo Mon 26-Jan-15 17:51:54

I still can't eat smoked mackerel since bringing it up 8 years ago.

I knew then that it was a bug but I can't overcome this barrier.

I can eat smoked any other fish though. The brain is a funny thing.

SnowWhiteAteTheApple Mon 26-Jan-15 17:52:40

There's a couple of foods I can no longer stand the smell etc of since being sick and I would be very hmm if DH decided I should and to man up.

Depends on your food outlook though, nobody here is made to eat anything they don't want too.

Allstoppedup Mon 26-Jan-15 17:53:38

To be honest, I'm the same with some foods after I've been sick after them!

My dad used to make amazing duck pancakes and hoi sin sauce, I came down with a D and V bug and it was the last thing I remember eating- 15 years later I still couldn't eat his 'signature dish'.

I could easily cope with similar sauces/ duck/Chinese elsewhere! It's just a mental block!

I'm sure your DP doesn't mean to offend.

Damn I want curry now though!

mrstiggy Mon 26-Jan-15 17:59:32

I know the association thing too. I had eggy bread once for supper as a kid, then was ill. Most likely a bug but it meant I couldn't eat eggy bread until I was in my thirties. The association just put me off.
However as you are not making that particular one it seems a bit strange that he is refusing it. It's ok to say 'I can't face that specific recipe again for a while', but to refuse all versions of spicy food at home whilst eating them elsewhere makes it feel a little bit more personal. I'd make him be in charge of the cooking on curry night, then maybe he will eat it.

PtolemysNeedle Mon 26-Jan-15 18:00:50

Your DHs reaction is completely normal. It's one of those weird psychological things.

I cracked a tooth on a particular food once, I haven't been able to stomach the thought of it since. I also once got (mild) food poisoning from one of those chain places that you get in train stations, Delice De Francais or something it's called. It was years ago and logically I know that eating from the same chain at the other end of the country is going to be fine, but I can't think of anything more unappetising than something that has come from them.

ireallydontlikemonday Mon 26-Jan-15 18:03:24

I made an amazing curry just before I went down with noro and cannot face the idea of eating it again. I've had other curries but I cannot stomach the idea of that lamb dhansak.

LittleMissRayofHope Mon 26-Jan-15 18:07:15

I am agreeing that eating the same curry would be an unreasonable request and I am not asking him to do that.

It's the fact that he will eat curry, any curry, unless it is cooked by me - that's the bit I take offence at.

NakedFamilyFightClub Mon 26-Jan-15 18:09:00

Would it be completely insensitive to ask for that recipe ireallydobtlikemonday? I've been looking for a good lamb dhansak recipe. If this makes you want to smite me over the Internet, ignore me grin

OP, sorry I think YABU, I couldn't face cheddar cheese for years when it was the last thing I ate before coming down with appendicitis.

NakedFamilyFightClub Mon 26-Jan-15 18:11:23

Ooh, cross post. Sorry. In that case YANBU, I'd just make curries and tell him to sort his own out.

manchestermummy Mon 26-Jan-15 18:14:41

I had a crumpet aged 6 and was very sick afterward. Noone gets ill from crumpets; most likely it was a bug. I didn't eat crumpets for 25 years following that. Similarly, dh maintains he got food poisoning from Morrison's café. Not possible: we had the exact same meal, and he was very hungover after a heavy night out at the time...

MauriceTheCat Mon 26-Jan-15 18:21:50

Passion Fruit hand gel from.the body shop... over 25 years ago I was sick after being given a bottle. I wouldn't let anyone have it the house again after that... my mum thought I had gone potty! But accepted it

MauriceTheCat Mon 26-Jan-15 18:22:18

I was only 13/14 @ the time grin

neverputasockinatoaster Mon 26-Jan-15 18:30:50

I was really ill when I was about 16. I had a grumbling appendix apparently and I was very very sick.
I had had a Mc Donalds for lunch when out in town with my friends - an egg mcmuffin. I still maintain that the egg mcmuffin gave me appendicitus!

wigglesrock Mon 26-Jan-15 18:35:55

Yes, YABU smile. My sister cooked me sausages once, half way into eating them, I realised they were off, I'm not sure how she didn't realise. I didn't touch sausages for ages, I now eat them - cooked by me, my Dad, my husband, the chippy, anyone really. But not her (we have breakfast together at weekends. She says sausages, I smell rancid pork, even if I watch her cook them (for the kids) I can't bring myself to eat them.

maras2 Mon 26-Jan-15 18:43:05

60 years ago I had D&V after eating a shepherds pie my mum made from the lamb left over from the Sunday joint.I was so ill and to this day have never been able to eat anything made from leftover lamb.I never did tell my mum though.My lovely dad helped me blag it when I was young and as I got older I just lied. [embarrassed]

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