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Do you leave your 11 year olds home alone?

(30 Posts)
Itsgoingtoreindeer Mon 26-Jan-15 15:49:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

accessorizequeen Mon 26-Jan-15 15:50:36

My ds is 11, have left him for an hour recently. He's an aspie too, but thought he's old enough now.

Unexpected Mon 26-Jan-15 15:50:55

Couldn't your parents come over? She should be fine but the rule-following is a bit of a worry. What happens if something out of the ordinary occurs? Will she panic if she doesn't know what "rule" to follow?

EbonyIck Mon 26-Jan-15 15:51:07

Totally fine IMO. She can call you, you're not far away.

JugglingLife Mon 26-Jan-15 15:51:58

I leave mine as long as we are not too far away. You know your child, they are all different.

Jennco Mon 26-Jan-15 15:52:27

I would because I know my son, he is sensible, knows how to contact me or go to a neighbour if needed.

He is comfortable being left alone, but I would only do it if i had too.

You know your own child, if she is happy, then go for it. If however you havent left her before then I would be cautious at leaving her for an hour.

Will she know what to do in an emergency?

uggmum Mon 26-Jan-15 15:54:13

I leave my ds alone on a regular basis. Up to about 2 hours max. He is 11. My mil lives in the next street. He has his mobile and a home phone if required.

He knows not to answer the door to anyone and knows what to do in an emergency.

o0 Mon 26-Jan-15 15:58:50

I leave my 10 year old for that long, and have since he was 9. He's very sensible. His little brother will be 25 before I leave him in the house alone. grin

TheWomanTheyCallJayne Mon 26-Jan-15 16:00:10

I leave my ten and eleven year olds fairly often. Have been doing it for a year or so

Theboodythatrocked Mon 26-Jan-15 16:02:25

Just waiting for the poster who shopped for and cooked her own meals at 9 while then doing her homework and then the ironing.

There's always one! ��

Op sure will he fine

YoullLikeItNotaLot Mon 26-Jan-15 16:09:57

This thread is well timed for me. I've been working out the logistics of dc1 starting secondary school in sept and realised the only way I can make it work is if dc1 makes own way home from school and then is home by self for 40 mins or so. I couldn't work out if 11 was too young to do this as something about age 14 keeps popping into my head.

OP if your parents can be with your DC in 10 minutes it'll be find. Just make sure your DC has their number handy!

MrsTawdry Mon 26-Jan-15 16:12:52

Yes. My DD isn't 11 till' summer and I leave her alone for up to half an hour. She has a mobile and strict instructions not to answer the door or the landline or to touch the cooker.

She watches TV and I text to check on her.

Jackieharris Mon 26-Jan-15 16:15:46

That situation's fine.

CPtart Mon 26-Jan-15 16:16:15

DS1 has been walking home from secondary school and home alone for up to two hours since he was about 11.5, and we are pretty rural with no immediate neighbours. He has a list of contact numbers and strict instructions not to open door, use the cooker etc. It was a it nervy first time (for me, not him) but he is fine. Sometimes, there's no alternative.

OldBeanbagz Mon 26-Jan-15 16:16:36

I left my DD for 1-1½ hours when she was that. It was a lot easier than dragging her our in the cold to take DS to his activity.

Just make sure she has your parents number to hand and knows not to answer the door/phone.

wigglesrock Mon 26-Jan-15 16:18:29

Yes, I leave my 9.5 year old for up to an hour

NickiFury Mon 26-Jan-15 16:19:10

I do and he has high functioning autism, I'm never far away though, no more than five minutes drive and never more than half an hour. He has a mobile next to him at all times and knows not to answer the door or go into the kitchen.

Taz1212 Mon 26-Jan-15 16:22:32

At 11 DS was getting the bus across Edinburgh by himself then walking to the train station and making his own way home by train. He survived many train delays/cancellations/sleeping through his bus stop etc. Leaving him at home by himself was far less stressful!

YANBU- she'll be fine.

wobblyweebles Mon 26-Jan-15 16:23:04

I'm just about to leave mine while I go to the supermarket.

LeonardWentToTheOffice Mon 26-Jan-15 16:23:09

Ds is 12 also HFA. I have just recently started leaving him to pop to shops, visit people about 1 hour max. He knows the rules and has a mobile. It is much less stressful all round - for me and him not to have to take him to the supermarket anymore! smile

BreakOutTheKaraoke Mon 26-Jan-15 16:27:25

My DD is 11 in a couple of weeks, and I regularly leave her, from being about 9 1/2. Longest has been 2 1/2 hours so far.

Since September she has been coming home from school herself one night a week, alone generally for an hour, but last week I had to work late, so until 6. She has a mobile, texts to say she's in safe, and has relatives in the next street if she needs them.

Itsgoingtoreindeer Mon 26-Jan-15 16:29:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EllenJanesthickerknickers Mon 26-Jan-15 16:30:49

DS2 has HF ASD and he was absolutely fine being left for an hour or so at that age. Rule following helped, I knew he wouldn't do anything silly like cooking fried egg sandwiches and would just play on the computer the whole time. I did leave 'emergency' instructions in a format he could access if stressed. Now he's 15 I happily leave him and DS3 (12) for the whole of an inset day.

Pickle131 Mon 26-Jan-15 16:35:30

As long as she knows what to do if something happens to you and you don't come back because of some unforeseen emergency. If she knows when to expect you and what to do if that time passes then that's the only issue I can foresee.

moosemama Mon 26-Jan-15 16:39:32

Ds is 12 and has Asperger's. His school holidays differ from his siblings and I started leaving him at home while I did the 15-20 minute school run about 6 months ago.

I worried myself silly at first , but he has a mobile phone, so I always remind him I have mine too and to call me if he has any worries or doesn't know what to do. I also tell him not to answer the door to anyone or use the cooker or kettle - not that he would anyway, as he knows he is only allowed to cook with adult supervision.

He's been absolutely fine. To be honest he tends to just stay on his laptop the whole time I'm out and barely notices I'm gone.

I'd like to start building it up to leaving him for longer, as the arguments we have about him having to come with me to walk the dogs are unreal.

Unfortunately my dog screams the house down regardless of whether ds is there or not, so still has to be sedated with a kong and chews even if he's not coming with me. hmm

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