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to be offended at exp stating he is an ad hoc babysitter

(8 Posts)
attheendofmyteatheragain Sun 25-Jan-15 22:45:19

I'm getting ready to go to family court with exp regarding contact

in his 'writ' if that's what you call it, one of his comments supporting his case is that he was used as an ad hoc babysitter to enable me to attend my place of work angry I utilised him as a babysitter confused wtf!?

this has been said several times in letters to and from lawyers, yet when he has contact with ds on his terms, it's called...contact

is it just me or that a bit shit?

anothernumberone Sun 25-Jan-15 22:54:04

You don't babysit your own child end off. Yanbu

attheendofmyteatheragain Sun 25-Jan-15 23:01:00

I think it shows that he thinks he is doing me some kind of favour by having dsangry

zipzap Sun 25-Jan-15 23:56:07

Can you get your lawyer to turn it to your advantage and show how badly he views parenting - that he doesn't see himself as a parent but as a babysitter, he has no concept of joint parenting or proper parenting, and that the fact that when you have your ds it enables him to go to his work too and you wouldn't dream of saying that that counted as babysitting!

I'm sure that if you point this out to your lawyer s/he would be able to turn it into something much better than I have in the paragraph above, then he'd have shot himself in the foot by saying that he was an ad hoc babysitter - when he thought he was being clever and getting one up on you.

Does he mean when you have asked him to have ds outside of regular/agreed contact time - say if other childcare has let you down or is it just that you have been really well organised and prioritised spending time with your ds when he is around and so organised some work when he is supposed to be with his dad?

Also has he ever expected you to pick up the slack and be an 'ad hoc babysitter' when he is supposed to have had contact and not bothered? Because again - if he is calling you on something but doing it himself - then call him on it!

PopularNamesInclude Sun 25-Jan-15 23:59:59

There is no such thing as bsbysitting yr own child. That's called parenthood.

attheendofmyteatheragain Mon 26-Jan-15 00:06:35

zipzap...you are a genius!! that's exactly what I'll do smile he often goes on holiday yes, without ds. so that must mean I am 'babysitting' for him..grrrr

He thought he was doing me a service and that I should've been grateful when I used to work weekends to save on childcare, which I had to do because he left and gave me next to no child maintenance. He truly is an idiot yet thinks he is very, very clever

DoJo Mon 26-Jan-15 00:10:05

I was going to say that surely that works in your favour - it demonstrates his inability to shoulder the responsibility of fatherhood, whereas you are utilising what he should be thinking of as contact time to work and earn a living to support yourself and your son. He sounds like a tool - I hope he lives to regret taking fatherhood so lightly.

NeedsAsockamnesty Mon 26-Jan-15 00:17:15

Parents who refer to looking after their own child as baby sitting make me laugh

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