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To think it's weird to "copy" someone when you're an adult?

(64 Posts)
MrsTawdry Sun 25-Jan-15 22:02:01

And to question if copying is even a thing when you're grown up and not just "being inspired"?

Reason I ask...my neighbour...she's late 20s, lone parent with one child...she's very nice generally...friendly, funny, open....but...on a number of occasions she's blatantly copied me....it began when I bought my DD a certain pair of trainers...not designer or expensive...the next day she informed me "I ordered X a pair too..."

I didn't even register this at the time...just thought it was nice that she'd found some she liked.

Next...I bought a new vacuum cleaner...the next day she said "I'm SO jealous." and then ran off and made her Mum buy her the same one.

I say "ran off" because she literally had that air about her...sort of panicked and rushed when she went up the road to ask her.

Next...I bought a new shower curtain...she saw it when she was visiting...and said "I'm going to get the same one...I like that."

Is it odd? I'm sure there are other things but can't recall them. This is all within months of us moving here...we've not been here long.

ApocalypseThen Sun 25-Jan-15 22:05:13

She sounds unsure of herself and her ability to make decisions. As long as it stays harmless, try to see it as flattering.

MrsTawdry Sun 25-Jan-15 22:06:35

Yes...that could be it I suppose. I only noticed when the hoover thing happened and then when the shower curtain thing occurred it was obvious. I suppose it's because she's younger than me or something.

skylark2 Sun 25-Jan-15 22:07:37

Buying matchy brands of everyday items is weird.

I've absolutely copied someone else's really good idea as an adult. I thought that was pretty normal - surely there are threads dedicated to it on forums all over the internet, including this one?

MrsTawdry Sun 25-Jan-15 22:09:25

Sky so...it's ok to take an idea...but not go out the next day and buy the same brand and colour of a household item or clothing? Is that what you think? Just trying to get this clear...what sort of ideas are ok to copy?

Something like a life hack you've learned from a friend?

WeldedParentMaterials Sun 25-Jan-15 22:14:20

As a one off, totally fine. But I had an old friend who started to literally copy EVERYTHING. And after a few years she started to tell people that noticed that we had yet another item the same that I'd copied her, so she obviously knew she was doing it.

Flattering at first, fucking annoying after a while. When she started coming onto my former, then current, boyfriend I called it a day with her.

skylark2 Sun 25-Jan-15 22:18:16

"what sort of ideas are ok to copy?"

Go to any thread on any forum which is about, for instance, home furnishings, or feeding your family on a budget. Look at people asking for ideas for how to do things.

The whole purpose of such threads is for adults to copy other adults' ideas. Why would anyone start wondering which of them were "ok to copy"?

Misspickle1 Sun 25-Jan-15 22:24:11

Very weird and would completely freak me out.
I'd start thinking up excuses to avoid.
Once yeah. Twice errrm. Third time get the fk out of my life confused

MabelBee Sun 25-Jan-15 22:34:27

My SIL has a friend who has copied her wedding! SIL books destination wedding, tells friend, all excited. Next day, friend cancels existing wedding plans and books exactly the same package, same hotel, ceremony the very day after SIL. It hasn't half caused some hoo ha!

NormHonal Sun 25-Jan-15 22:39:38

Normal: oh I love those shoes! They would be perfect for me/DD. Where did you get them? <orders shoes>

Freaky: <runs off and buys everything the same> <cancels wedding and rebooks same>

That said, I do have one or two friends/acquaintances where our taste overlaps hugely and we often end up asking each other where we got xyz. Or randomly turn up wearing the same shoes, bought independently but that could also be because we are clearly both Mumsnetters.

CrapBag Sun 25-Jan-15 22:41:03

I'd be annoyed. Ok the odd thing but this level and the exact same thing 3 times. I'd distance myself.

cookiemonster100 Sun 25-Jan-15 22:42:54

I agree it's weird.
My MIL & SIL (her DIL not DD), have the same ornaments / furniture in their houses. In my early years of hanging round DH family I made the mistake of commenting at MIL house how nice something was & she responded by saying something along the lines of DIL had it so she had to have it. They love copying each other. Weirdos!

MrsTawdry Sun 25-Jan-15 22:43:44

Sky confused I'm not wondering about which ones are ok to copy! I was trying to understand your badly worded first response.

TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge Sun 25-Jan-15 22:50:12

She sounds unsure of her self and insecure in making choices in things so needs 'inspiration' as such to guide her?

Maybe you could befriend her and open her up to her own ideas? Or just avoid her blush

Disneylandkilledmychildhood Sun 25-Jan-15 22:52:29

It's not that weird, at least she's open about copying you. I have two people in my life who blatantly copy me and then pretend like they didn't know or like it was all their own idea. Now that's weird.

antimatter Sun 25-Jan-15 23:01:18

your post OP reminded me of this quote:

"We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public." by Bryan White

your neighbour didn't grin

debbriana Sun 25-Jan-15 23:16:16

My mother has a neighbour who behaves in this manner.

She visited the house and saw a brand new TV. They went and got one too.

My mother got an American fridge freezer, they went and got one too.

Mum redid her kitchen and bathroom, she went a hired the same people.

My mother only noticed it recently when her daughter came to play with my little sister and saw a deep fryer in the kitchen. She said I better tell my mother to get one.
There are lots of other things she has copied.

invisiblecrown Sun 25-Jan-15 23:17:28

It sounds childish, but I really just think she admires you OP!

Misspickle1 Sun 25-Jan-15 23:20:25

Deb your mums neighbour is freaky weird. That would scare me. Who does that???
I really just do not get that lol.

simpson Sun 25-Jan-15 23:21:18

I don't think it would bother me too much until she started copying my clothes (or the more obvious things that everyone can see) iyswim.

FabULouse Mon 26-Jan-15 05:12:19

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

KnackeredMerrily Mon 26-Jan-15 05:29:37

I don't get it, sorry i dont think it makes a pattern. The behaviour around the hoover is odd though!

TrendStopper Mon 26-Jan-15 07:08:44

I don't think copying the odd thing or two is weird. We have all copied someone at some point as that is how things become popular. However copying everything one person does is weird & I would get very irritated at that.

hauntedhenry Mon 26-Jan-15 07:50:01

Annoying, but it happens. My SIL copies a lot of things I do: booked her wedding at the same venue as us, buys the same items of furniture for her house, buys the same toys for dn. It irritates me a bit (especially the wedding thing!) but I tend to see it as flattering rather than freaky or sinister.

kaykayred Mon 26-Jan-15 07:57:16

No I think it's okay to a small degree when you're a teenager, but when you're a grown adult?

Adults copy each other more in a "I like that BRAND maybe I'll look at the dresses" but not "I will go out an buy that exact same dress". Or as someone else has suggested, copy ideas (recipes, how to budget, DIY stuff, etc).

I don't think it's flattering if someone sees something you have, then immediately goes out and buys the identical item. It's more "this person clearly has absolutely no imagination of their own and I'm just the person they have latched onto".

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