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To have another rant about friend's wedding

(508 Posts)
cathyscarlett Sun 25-Jan-15 16:19:48

I posted on here recently about my friend who's getting married in November. I'm a bridesmaid, and the cost is already tipping £1,500 for each of us. She is one of my oldest friends, and she is a really lovely person, but she has become utterly self absorbed and obsessed with her wedding (which she has been planning for the past few years).

I have just received a text from another bridesmaid asking each of the six of us for £45 in order to make a 'bride goody bag' for the night before the wedding, including personalised pyjamas, make up, champagne etc. She has stated that the bride asked her to do this. It's not the cost I mind, I was planning to take champagne for the night before anyway, it's being asked to spend yet more of my money on her wedding.

AIBU to think my friend has a bloody cheek to keep continuously asking us all for more money?

Chillyegg Sun 25-Jan-15 16:21:49

YANBU that's a lot of money and your friends got more front than Brighton pier! It's really cheeky and grabby if her!shock

WipsGlitter Sun 25-Jan-15 16:23:22

Just tell her you'll supply the champagne.

mrscumberbatch Sun 25-Jan-15 16:23:50

Yanbu especially if the bride 'directed' her to extract more money from you all.

Put your foot down and say you'd already bought her a treat for the night before/morning of (champagne or whatever) and that you'll just be sticking to that.

egnahc Sun 25-Jan-15 16:24:42

If the bride wants chavvy personalised pjs she can buy her own. Simple. I bet they are in rhinestone.

livsmommy Sun 25-Jan-15 16:25:13

£1500?! Blimey, YADNBU! Is that just for your dress/shoes/accessories? I would tell her to bugger off re the brides goody bag, very cheeky of the bride expecting that, especially cause £45 from six of you is nearly £300!

KatoPotato Sun 25-Jan-15 16:25:27

£270? What's going in this hamper??

DesperatelySeekingSedatives Sun 25-Jan-15 16:25:57

shock at someone having the cheek to TELL other people to put together a goody bag for them! She must realise you're all a tiny bit pissed off with her or you'd do something under your own steam and not have to be instructed to. tell her to do one!

MamaLazarou Sun 25-Jan-15 16:26:01

Have I understood this correctly - the bride wants £270 from her bridesmaids to spend on gifts for herself.

If so, YANBU. What a spoilt brat! Is she two?

browneyedgirl86 Sun 25-Jan-15 16:29:05

Yanbu. The bride sounds like a complete brat as others have said. I wouldn't pay it. Not a chance in hell.

woowoo22 Sun 25-Jan-15 16:29:41

This is nuts. Decline. Surely none of the other six (??? SIX BRIDESMAIDS?!!) want to take part either?

Noodledoodledoo Sun 25-Jan-15 16:30:19

I got it so wrong for my wedding I made me and my bridesmaids hoodies to wear getting ready and paid for everyones myself! Oh and they weren't chavy.

Chilicosrenegade Sun 25-Jan-15 16:30:34

Someone needs to inform her of what it's added up to. Assume she's not realised...?


She's a bit of a cow

LineRunner Sun 25-Jan-15 16:32:56

Jesus, I'd have pulled out by now. That's completely unaffordable.

MouseInTheSkirting Sun 25-Jan-15 16:33:03

It's so sad when a bride gets like this. I got married last year and we were so mindful if our guests. We had no gifts as we are aware that people spend on travel and accommodation. I didn't have a hen do and the stag do was a local curry. I don't get how people have 0 perspective on weddings. It's so hard to know how you can handle this without confronting her directly. Why on earth would you instruct anyone to buy you anything?!

scarlettsmummy2 Sun 25-Jan-15 16:37:30

Why have you spent so much money? When I got married I paid for the dresses etc, and when I was a bridesmaid it was the same!

Littlef00t Sun 25-Jan-15 16:39:36

Did the bride specify what she was expecting or just as for a goody bag?

Either way, I'd push the other bms to only contribute what you feel would be appropriate.

cathyscarlett Sun 25-Jan-15 16:44:59

One of the bridesmaids and I think it's ridiculous, the other four think it's fine. Two of us have said we'd rather not pay it, but we will if it's the last thing we're asked to pay for.

Bridesmaid (I'll call her bridesmaid1) who suggested it has said the main present will be a book with letters from all the bridesmaids about how much we think of her. I cannot think of anything worse to do with my time than write such a letter.

Bridesmaid on my side has pointed out that this wouldn't cost £270, and I've said perhaps the book and a nice bottle of champagne would do. Reply from bridesmaid1 was that she thought the bride would like lots of gifts to open the night before.

PtolemysNeedle Sun 25-Jan-15 16:46:10

Say no FFS!

This bride friend of yours is not a lovely person, she is self centred and thinks way to much of herself.

cathyscarlett Sun 25-Jan-15 16:46:22

Actually, it's worded 'I think bride will want a lot of nice things to open the night before!'

cathyscarlett Sun 25-Jan-15 16:49:04

Littlef00t apparently the bride knows she's getting things but not want the things are. I've backtracked a bit now and told the other bridesmaids that it may sound awful, but I really don't think she needs £270 worth of presents on top of what she'll get the next day.

WipsGlitter Sun 25-Jan-15 16:51:03

Stand your ground. What's thf rest of the money gone on (nosey!)??

DisappointedOne Sun 25-Jan-15 16:53:25

This is what happens when people spend years planning their weddings.

The whole thing sounds hideous. I'd cut my losses and run for the hills.

MrsDiesel Sun 25-Jan-15 16:54:12

Is the wedding abroad? I can only imagine that's how it is costing you so much money.

The goody bag is a nice idea but surely £270 is excessive! Surely everyone should contribute what they want to and then the gifts are bought with the money available.

Aeroflotgirl Sun 25-Jan-15 16:54:42

Op £1.5k is a huge amount, I woukd put a stop to Bridezilla asking right now. I woukd tell them that you just cannot afford it. The bride is asking for a goodie bag, bloody hell can't she make one herself. No no no no no

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