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To not like people just dropping in?

(61 Posts)
Grumpygussetthatsme Sun 25-Jan-15 15:57:18

I mean I probably am but in this technological age it isn't difficult to send some sort of message, wait for a reply,or pick up the phone, and if it's 'yes that suits' then come on round? People always seem to 'drop by' when I would least like visitors and often even if they text etc they do it a few minutes before they arrive and don't wait for a reply.It drives me barmy!!
Aside from emergencies obviously.

Koalafications Sun 25-Jan-15 15:59:10

That has never happened to me. I think most people who know me know that would be a very stupid thing to do.


DreamingOfAHotDrink Sun 25-Jan-15 16:01:02

I don't like it either, though I am hospitable when they do turn up if they don't know this. I make it clear to people when we are not in my home, I don't like people turning up.

Charitybag Sun 25-Jan-15 16:01:20

Oh I hate this. Anyone who knows me would never do this. Except my in-laws and they think I'm an arsey cow odd for liking a bit of notice to tidy up!

loudarts Sun 25-Jan-15 16:02:14

Yadnbu, it doesn't often happen, but you can guarantee that it will be on the day something has gone wrong and the house looks a mess

PaleoRules Sun 25-Jan-15 16:03:21

I would love people to drop in whenever they want but people don't tend to live like that anymore - I think it's s shame.

ShakesBootyFlabWobbles Sun 25-Jan-15 16:03:31

Personality wise, I think you are either naturally more planned or naturally more spontaneous. I think that the planners are not keen on impromptu guests and the spontaneous folk mind less (as long as guests take the house as they find it!). I generally don't mind people dropping by unannounced although it doesn't happen so often. I do occasionally get organisation envy though goes off topic

If you naturally more of a planner, then you ANBU as you are just being who you are. Just don't make friends with spontaneous folk grin

LokiBear Sun 25-Jan-15 16:04:09

I agree. My mil told me off once for telling her not to visit as I was in the middle of cleaning. She said that people want to visit us not our house and that she would drop by if she wanted. I take her point, but my point was that I was busy. I didn't want to be disturbed. Now I get the 'we are two minutes away' text and have no choice. hmm I should add that she is a lovely mil in every other respect though.

Hurr1cane Sun 25-Jan-15 16:16:49

I wouldn't answer the door. I sleep in the day when DS is at school though and when he's home we usually have loads of therapy etc to be doing, and if I'm finally getting a minute I don't want to have to sit up and eat politely. I want to lie down and spray crumbs everywhere

Grumpygussetthatsme Sun 25-Jan-15 16:20:05

Unfortunately shakesbooty the culprits are ILs,I love my them to bits but I just hate the unplanned visits.I would say 75% of the time I'd probably just say yes,but it just seems polite to ask whether you're 'spontaneous' or not?We all have young children so it is often clearly just an excuse to call round as their kids are bored,but sometimes it really doesn't suit-ie tea time,one hour before bedtime etc. Other times I'm just wrecked and don't really feel like entertaining anyone other than my own kids. I should probably just be better at sucking it up! I know there will be some who will say I should just say at the door no it doesn't suit,but it would start a big 'thing' in the family plus as little kiddy/kiddies already standing there I would have to deal with upsetting my kids and theirs by effectively saying no please go away.I kind of think that is why they don't give notice/don't wait for a reply,they know I can't turn them away once they're here!

Sparklingbrook Sun 25-Jan-15 16:25:58

I think it's very rude. At least a quick call or text first, I wouldn't dream of turning up unannounced.

Horrible that people assume that you would be thrilled to see them without any warning.

People that say 'we are here to see you not the house' whilst peering round the huge ironing pile on the sofa and checking out the non hoovered carpet. angry

Marcelinewhyareyousomean Sun 25-Jan-15 16:37:04

Hate pop ins YADNBU.

It is rude, self-centered and presumptuous to expect someone to be ready on a whim because you happen to be at a loose end or fancy a cuppa and company.

I hate this and don't answer the door.

MouseInTheSkirting Sun 25-Jan-15 16:37:46

I don't answer the door unless I know who it is in advance so my friends always text.

vdbfamily Sun 25-Jan-15 16:38:50

I love it when people drop in as there are no expectations.They have to take you as they find you. You don't have to have tidied up and baked a cake . If you have plans,you just have to be honest with them. I agree that this used to be a 'normal' thing to do in our society but now seems to be unusual.

Fanfeckintastic Sun 25-Jan-15 16:40:33

One of my dying mothers last tips to me when she was reflecting over what she'd have liked to have done "have the kind of house where people are coming and going all the time, where anyone can drop in"

I like the idea of it honestly, but I love my privacy and just being able to mess around with DP and DD uninterruptedly.

thestringcheesemassacre Sun 25-Jan-15 16:40:35

How do you get a parcel delivered or do meter readings etc if you don't answer the door to anyone except by pre arrangement? I've often wondered this on these types of threads

thegreylady Sun 25-Jan-15 16:42:50

I'd love people to pop in but it rarely happens. Come on round everyone welcome smile

Sparklingbrook Sun 25-Jan-15 16:45:25

string. Easy. Doorbell goes. Look out of window and see who it is. Answer accordingly either-

1.Yell as loud as I can 'COME IN!!' (relating to lovely neighbour/parents/DSs mates)

2.Answer door to parcel delivery/meter reading man. Although we have a porch so no need really unless signature required.

3. Answer door and explain not convenient, have quick chat on doorstep.

4. Ignore altogether

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange Sun 25-Jan-15 16:47:39

I love it when people just pop in.

Ds has lots of friends knocking for him and every week end I have some random child in my home.

Sparklingbrook Sun 25-Jan-15 16:48:25

Oh and I have a sign to get rid of sales people/canvassers etc.

Sparklingbrook Sun 25-Jan-15 16:49:01

The DSs mates can pop in whenever, because that doesn't really affect me.

PaleoRules Sun 25-Jan-15 16:50:00

It's nice to see there are a few people on here who love spontaneous visitors! Maybe I should put a sign on my door welcoming people to come round for a cuppa!

ShadowSpiral Sun 25-Jan-15 16:50:32

I hate it when people do this.

I like warning so I can tidy around the place. My house is just not visitor ready 100% of the time. Right now, for instance, it looks like someone has emptied half a toy shop into the living room.

Sparklingbrook Sun 25-Jan-15 16:52:54

I think it is assumed anyone that doesn't like people dropping in unannounced lives in a tip. That is not the case, some people just like a bit of warning to mentally prepare. IYKWIM. grin

BackforGood Sun 25-Jan-15 17:00:00

This is a thread that comes up very often on MN, and you'll find there is a pretty even spilt.

YANBU to dislike pop-in visits, but then those of us that love it when people pop in unexpectedly areNBU either. It's just what you prefer.

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