People who are high and mighty about not being on facebook and then bitch when they miss out on stuff that's organised through facebook

[nemoschmemo]

I know a few people like this. Turn their noses up at facebook (fine, their choice) but then go "wah, why wasn't I invited" when people make plans using facebook groups.

Case in point there's a fb group for parents of DC in my DDs year. People use it for things like reminders about what homework/spellings are this week.


Also sometimes gets used for social things - e.g. " a group of us are going to X play centre after school tonight if anyone fancies it."

I like fb groups for organising group activities - it's massively complicated trying to arrange things like that via text when you can't see what others are saying, email is too complicated as you end up with a gazillion emails and many of them cross.

With a fb group you can have a group conversation, it just makes sense.

But some people can't possibly just join fb to join a group and then just not indulge in the bits they don't like, they're too good for that. Fine. But don't then go '"WAH! I got left out!"

[JohnCusacksWife]

Know what you mean. One of my firends is very down on FB but then gets a bit miffed when she realises she's missed out on news or info that the rest of us have shared on FB. You can't have it both ways...

[esiotrot2015]

Fb is dying out no ?
Everyone is what's app'ing instead

[nemoschmemo]

Fb is still alive and kicking here in N.London :)

Can you have group convos on whatsapp? You def can't whatsapp the smartphone refusers anyway..

[Tinkerball]

Esiotrot not in my experience.

[firesidechat]

Not everyone uses FB. Why do people use it as the only means of communication? If you know a friend doesn't plan things this way then phone them or text them. Why exclude someone just because they don't meet your social media standards?

I'm firmly in the "high and mighty" camp. Can you tell?

[firesidechat]

I heard people were leaving FB in their droves too.

[Chilicosrenegade]

Bollox. People are using ALL of them. Some mates tweet, some fb, some group msg.

Gotta say txt is a bit retro now

[sockmatcher]

Yabu. The organiser should be inclusive and text the other person

[gobbynorthernbird]

In a situation like the OP, FB messages are the easiest way to go. Then everybody can say what times/days they are available without one person trying to figure out what suits all.

[JohnCusacksWife]

We don't organise nights out via FB and do include our non-FB friend in those. But she does get annoyed when it's obvious that we've all heard some piece of news or seen a photo or heard from an old uni friend, for example, and she hasn't. Not major things, just the minutiae of life.

I understand FB isn't for everyone but you've got to accept that if you're not on it and most of your friends are that you're going to be out of the loop (in a trivial way).

[nemoschmemo]

Of course I invite my own friends to things I organise. But I don't have the mobile numbers of 60 parents at school. I'm being inclusive by putting on fb for people I don't know very well ;)

[nemoschmemo]

Why do people use it as the only means of communication?

Because it's convenient.

Why do people insist on not using a convenient mode of communication and then get aalllll bent out of shape when they miss things?

[meditrina]

I think it's a bit shit to organise things using a means that you know does not reach everyone.

It doesn't matter why they're not on FB, nor whether they're nice or nasty. They're being excluded.

[IamTitanium]

You know there are people who are no high and mighty, but don't use it and/or don't use it for valid reasons?

[firesidechat]

Gotta say txt is a bit retro now

That's ok, I'm a bit retro myself.

[BalloonSlayer]

Ha ha you are talking about me nemo. Can't stand bloody facebook and hardly use it and one of the reasons is because how much other people use it! Makes no sense even to myself.

"Young people" use other sites but where I live FB is stilll going strong.

[nemoschmemo]

"They're being excluded"

No, they've chosen to exclude themselves.

[nemoschmemo]

"You know there are people who are no high and mighty, but don't use it and/or don't use it for valid reasons?"

Yes, but if you read the OP you'll see that I'm not talking about those people.

[Older]

To me FB is like a notice board. It's great, really easy to arrange stuff. If people choose not to look then they will miss out. Having a log in to a notice board is not going to soil anyone.

[echt]

Not everyone trusts Facebook, so it seems a pity to leave them out of things because of this.

[nemoschmemo]

Older exactly.

All these people making comments about how it excludes people, should use text etc - we're talking about trying to make at least 60 people included, many of whom you won't have a mobile number for, many of whom you may not see at pick up or drop off.

Yes, if you're a group of five friends one of you is too good for isn't on facebook then it's rude to organise stuff between the four of you and leave the other one out, but in that instance your issue isn't fb it's that you have shit friends.

But in a massive group situation - if you don't want to join, that's fine. But it's your choice to leave yourself out.

[januarysnowdrop]

I guess you'd regard me as High and Mighty too, but I hope I don't come across that way. I think the thing about Facebook is that it seems to become such a way of life for some people, and there are those of us (such as myself) who are wary of becoming a part of something that could potentially lead to me wasting even more of my time online than I do already! Facebook became a big thing when dd1 was born and I had visions of myself getting totally obsessed with it, so I made a conscious decision to opt out, and it's one that I've stuck to. It does mean that I miss out on things, although I would never dare complain, as obviously it's my own choice. Do bear in mind that are also some people who may have their own personal reasons for wanting to keep a low profile online.

It does seem a little thoughtless to knowingly leave people out of social arrangements in the way that you describe - after all, I always tell my elderly next door neighbour about things that are happening on our street which I've learned about over email. How hard is it to mention a meet up to them in person, or send an email/text?

I suppose I can kind of see what you're saying, but I do think you're being a bit harsh.

[Older]

I had a friend who used to text me to find out what was on there. It pissed me off enormously that I'm expected to relay information individually because she wouldn't log on.

The group posts regular events (sports) and they are open to anyone who wants to come. If we emailed, texted, whatsapped, phoned, wrote, visited every possible participant we'd never organise a thing. Facebook is fantastic.

You don't have to post, make friends or engage. Log on...go to group and view the listings. Job done

[nemoschmemo]

No, not everyone trusts fb, but you don't HAVE to give your actual details, you don't HAVE to upload a photo, you can join it simply to use a group, you can decline friends requests saying "sorry, only on here to use the group".

You don't have to live your life on it to participate in social stuff.

[MaryWestmacott]

Yep, rather like the parents at DS's school who don't want to provide e-mail details to the class reps, just the main school. Fine, your choice, but then getting annoyed because the class rep is arranging things like christmas collection for teachers, coffee mornings, evening meet ups via e-mail and you've missed out.

(I get that not everyone can give out work e-mail addresses, but surely if you ahve that sort of job, you have a personal account too? And yes, the class reps could put up a sign outside the classroom, but as there's a lot of working parents in our school, that would miss a lot who don't do pickup/drop off to the classroom)