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aibu to think this is not a good start?

(31 Posts)
Yangsun Thu 22-Jan-15 08:34:00

Friend's usual childcare has let her down so her DC is coming to play with mine (it's my day off today). Just arrived, child is in PJs - can I give her a bath and get her dressed please? - and they would like me to try and potty train her today, they have never tried before but my dd is nearly there so she doesn't think I'll mind... Said OK in house but she'll have to put nappy on if we go out (I'm planning on soft play so no good for accidents). Apparently this is not OK, I shouldn't take her out if I'm not prepared to keep her in pants. Surely ianbu?

MinceSpy Thu 22-Jan-15 08:36:25

Your 'friend' is using you. Do what suits you and never help her out again.

KingJoffreyObviouslyWatchesHol Thu 22-Jan-15 08:37:14


There's no childcare emergency. They want her potty trained. In a day.

You've been had. Sorry, OP.


lostincumbria Thu 22-Jan-15 08:38:37

Don't even think about potty training her. Unbelievable cheek.

fuzzywuzzy Thu 22-Jan-15 08:38:56

Change your mind and tell your 'friend' to arrange alternate childcare you're not there to bathe and potty train her child.

She sounds really entitled!

Nolim Thu 22-Jan-15 08:40:21

Yeah, not a good start. If they are asking for a favor they should be raseonable, considered an grateful. Are they? I dont think so.

DevaDiva Thu 22-Jan-15 08:42:34

My answer to all of that would have been 'you're having a laugh'. These little gems on MN never cease to amaze me wink

fuzzpig Thu 22-Jan-15 08:42:47

Wow. Helping a friend with childcare is supposed to be "keep them alive, fed and vaguely entertained" not "parenting" surely.

Cheeky madam!

DeliciousMonster Thu 22-Jan-15 08:49:46

Keep her in pjs, and nappy and have a duvet day. And tell your friend you are not her employee when she comes to collect.

Yangsun Thu 22-Jan-15 08:52:52

I'm glad you agree! I've got over the initial shock (and need to mumsnet as my first course of action!) Have dressed but not bathed her and put her in one of dd's nappies. To avoid fall out I have texted - unfortunately I'm not going to be able to potty train her today, see you later - I hope she will realise she was being daft and all will be fine. Girls are having a whale of a time and I don't have to stores about accidents.

Kittymum03 Thu 22-Jan-15 08:54:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Haroldplaystheharmonica Thu 22-Jan-15 08:54:54

Just who are all these 'friends'? I know I should be used to it after reading thread after thread on here but I still can't get over how some people have the cheek to treat other people!

OP, just stick her in a nappy and tell your friend (and I use that term loosely) that today wasn't the best time to try potty training as you're going to soft play so better that she tries tomorrow. Then breezily change the subject and remind yourself never to do her a favour again!

Kittymum03 Thu 22-Jan-15 08:56:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

QTPie Thu 22-Jan-15 08:58:31

Personally I wouldn't want to potty train someone else's child (unles I was a professional and being paid). Especially starting the process when it has never been done before.

KingJoffreyObviouslyWatchesHol Thu 22-Jan-15 09:03:41

Did she even give you a potty?

Surely you'd need a potty for each potty training child? You can guarantee one would be on it with the other trying to pull them off.

WrappedInABlankie Thu 22-Jan-15 09:09:51

My EX friend was like this.

Would leave her ds with her mother then bitch to me about how he wasn't potty trained like my ds (as hers was 6 weeks older) because her mother/nan/nursery etc couldn't be bothered to do ithmm.

He use to just wee on the floor and she'd let him. Cut all ties months later that's another thread

She use to ask me to make sure he used the potty whilst not giving me on or pants so I use to keep him in nappies it's wasn't my job to potty train her child because she couldn't be arsed to do it.

Take a stand OP wink nappy the child and go to soft play and when she picks her up tell her if she wants you to look after her child again she best come washed, dresses, with food and nappies unless potty trained. You were doing her a favour and unless she gives you money you're not her nanny!

Longdistance Thu 22-Jan-15 09:11:59

Wtf? She needs to potty train her dc herself, not get some other mug person to do it. If she's not happy, tough luck.

Can't believe you have a day off, and get lumbered with someone else's dc, and then they treat you as if you're the cm.

gamerchick Thu 22-Jan-15 09:16:05

I also think she was full of it and just wanted someone to potty train her kid.

Cheek of some people man.

HazleNutt Thu 22-Jan-15 09:16:50

This must be the sister of the woman on a recent thread, who used friend for free childcare, and then complained that she was not happy with the quality of food and entertainment they were offered.

Ohfourfoxache Thu 22-Jan-15 09:20:57

Fucking hell shock

Has she responded to your text? When is she due to pick her up?

FreeWee Thu 22-Jan-15 09:25:37

Would she expect her 'usual' childcare to a) bath the child b) dress her c) start potty training her from scratch? No? Then use that as your response if she tries to get shirty with you.

I would just be hugely grateful my DD was being looked after by someone she knew, with a friend whose company she enjoyed and doing something fun (soft play) and I could still go to work, not call in at the last minute and face peeing off my boss. She's clueless.

RedToothBrush Thu 22-Jan-15 09:26:51

If its:
"not OK, I shouldn't take her out if I'm not prepared to keep her in pants."

then its
"not OK for you to look after her because you already had other plans"

I don't know why this is a debate or why you haven't had the backbone to come straight out and say it.

kaykayred Thu 22-Jan-15 09:27:48

OP - If you take nothing else from this thread, at least take this:

Never, ever baby sit for this woman again.

At VERY LEAST, if you do plan to, you need to tell her in advance that you are NOT childcarer. You're happy to keep her child safe during the day, but BATHING, POTTY TRAINING, and DRESSING are HER responsibilities.

Yangsun Thu 22-Jan-15 09:45:08

Thanks everyone, I think she thought I wouldn't mind as I have potty etc from doing it with dd but I can't say I have a gift for potty training as dd is still not perfect! She hasn't replied to text but as pps have said, if she's not happy she can come and get her dad. Just getting them ready to go to soft play with nappies, maybe she just won't ask me again...

KingJoffreyObviouslyWatchesHol Thu 22-Jan-15 09:50:25

I feed children junk and let them watch South Park.

I recommend it. People never leave their children with me.


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