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To actually not give a shiny shit about this.

(56 Posts)
Pepperpigmustdie Tue 20-Jan-15 16:58:39

Changed name as quite specific.

Hen do drama.

My friend has organised a hen do for herself this summer. It's abroad and at first I really wanted to go, so I paid the deposit.

Fast forward four months, circumstances have changed. I don't want to go.

I messaged my friend out lining why the timing was bad and I couldn't go. I have to prioritise. She replied with "that's fine, but you will still have to pay the full cost as it's not fair on every one else paying more"

I replied that wasn't gong to happen. She then asked for the extra money for room supplements. Then she text and said another person had cancelled and we had to pay £160 to cancel the room hmm. I told her I still wasn't going to pay more as all I'd been asked is to pay the deposit, which I had. I've just had another text asking for £25.

I've had to stop myself from typing a really arsey reply as today hasn't been great. Dd2 has had an operation which she fought at every step of the way. She is a toddler so was distraught, sore and trying to rip canulars out.

I have real genuine reasons why I'm not going and she knows them. I wasn't given any T&C in regards to cancelations. I'm fed up with it all. I actually could t give a shit as I've more important things to worry about than fucking £25!

Blackout234 Tue 20-Jan-15 17:00:34

YANBU, especially if she knows your circumstances. I wouldn't give a shiny shit either, just ignore.

BiancaDelRio Tue 20-Jan-15 17:00:53


She's a moose.

Hurr1cane Tue 20-Jan-15 17:02:46

She text you when your toddler was in hospital to ask you for £25?

I'd well block her number.

Pepperpigmustdie Tue 20-Jan-15 17:03:32

Thank you blackout and bianca. Starting to get a bit stabby over it.

IgnoreMeEveryOtherReindeerDoes Tue 20-Jan-15 17:04:28

Agree with you not to give a shiny shit, I appauld you in not texting back telling her to fuckoff and to go read up on what deposit means.

Hope your DD makes quick recovery

Pepperpigmustdie Tue 20-Jan-15 17:04:44

To be fair hurricane she didn't know. But I don't think it would have mattered if she did.

Mrsjayy Tue 20-Jan-15 17:05:18

God sake what is wrong with people you pulled out she wants money bugger that tell her to stick it up her hoha,

Pepperpigmustdie Tue 20-Jan-15 17:06:27

Thank you ignoreme

My brain is to frazzled today to think of something diplomatic and non inflammatory to reply with.

expatinscotland Tue 20-Jan-15 17:07:03

You never agreed to any T&C. You never signed an agreement. Therefore, you own nothing.

But she will probably end the friendship.

Pepperpigmustdie Tue 20-Jan-15 17:07:38

Ha ha mrsjay grin

123rd Tue 20-Jan-15 17:08:11

Surely if two people have pulled out that's a whole room so just cancel one of the rooms. No single supplement to worry about then. Also ,unless she has paid for everything then the total balance isn't due yet-so probably still adjustable.

lemisscared Tue 20-Jan-15 17:10:06

But is she going to have to pay out for two empty rooms now?

Why can't people just go on a pub crawl?

hmc Tue 20-Jan-15 17:10:29

Well, if it was my friends and the rest of them were now going to have to stump up more cash because I'd been flaky and pulled out, I'd feel morally obliged to make sure they weren't out if pocket because of me.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine Tue 20-Jan-15 17:10:51

I suggest you have a look at the no-show for party invoice thread...

Pepperpigmustdie Tue 20-Jan-15 17:10:53

123 I actually said that last night but apparently we had to pay a cancellation fee for room hmm now it's whittled down to £25.

I'm kind of thinking it's to pay the room supplement as some others may not want to share.

Whippet81 Tue 20-Jan-15 17:11:32


Obviously you lose your deposit but that's it. That's the whole point of a deposit.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius Tue 20-Jan-15 17:11:46

"Dear 'friend',

I cannot believe you are chasing me for money when my daughter is in hospital, in pain following surgery. This is not the action of a true friend.

I wish you all happiness in your married life.


VickyJH Tue 20-Jan-15 17:12:23

Tell her pissflaps... If she doesn't like the answer well tough titties!

If she wants money tell her to ask the other cancel-ee wink

Pepperpigmustdie Tue 20-Jan-15 17:13:03

hmc why do you think my reason is flaky?

expatinscotland Tue 20-Jan-15 17:13:19

'I suggest you have a look at the no-show for party invoice thread...'

Why? She never agreed to any T&C herself. There is no contract here except between the bride and the hotel.

Another reason why hen do's abroad are so stupid.

Don't pay her £25.

How is it 'flaky' to pull out six months ahead of time?!

ohtheholidays Tue 20-Jan-15 17:13:52

Sorry to hear about your poor little girl.I hope the operation went well and that's she soon feels betterflowers

Your friend is being daft.I wouldn't expect to pay anymore than you already have and it's not your fault if someone else has dropped out.

Could you explain about your DD and hope that shuts her up?

ChocLover2015 Tue 20-Jan-15 17:14:58

there often is a 'change to booking' fee which IME is usually about £30.If this is the case, then I think it is fair that the 2 who have cancelled pay this fee between them .I would ask for proof though.

ChocLover2015 Tue 20-Jan-15 17:16:14

Why? She never agreed to any T&C herself. There is no contract here except between the bride and the hotel

That is not exactly true, a contract vcan be a verbal agreement.

Floggingmolly Tue 20-Jan-15 17:18:05

Why do the others pay more because you're not going??? I've worked in hotels; it's fairly standard that only cancellations made less than 48 hours prior to check in attract a charge. If you're going next summer they can sell the room hundreds of times over by then hmm
She's trying to pawn some other charge off on you. Tell her to do one.

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