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to dislike this type of response.

(15 Posts)
angeleyes72 Tue 20-Jan-15 15:22:51

So a person starts a thread as they have a problem or need some help.
Eg I am not sure how I will cope following my csection as I have a toddler. You will always get a person saying I had to cope on my own with 3 under 2's from day 3 onwards. Or someone struggling to look after dc when ill. I coped with double pneumonia. Or someone searching for help with childcare. I did xy and z with 3 under 2 etc.
Find these posts really unhelpful.
Aibu

InfinitySeven Tue 20-Jan-15 15:24:52

You might find them unhelpful, other people might like to see that someone else was where they are, didn't find a perfect solution, but did make it through.

As with anything, read through and pick the responses that resonate with you. Ignore everything else.

MrsTawdry Tue 20-Jan-15 15:25:09

Well no but they CAN be useful as they put things into perspective and show the OP that they're not alone in having to deal with things and that it CAN be done.

By the way I DID have to be alone with a toddler, a c section and new baby from day three! grin I lay on the sofa while the toddler destroyed the house for 4 days and then I got up and limped down the road with my pram.

I lived.

2rebecca Tue 20-Jan-15 15:27:58

It depends on whether the poster says how they coped with the same problem. Having a c section and a toddler or having to cope with young kids when ill are fairly common scerarios though so it's not surprising many posters have been in the same boat.
If you just want someone to say "there there poor you" you phone a close friend or relative, not post on mumsnet.

MrsMcRuff Tue 20-Jan-15 15:29:50

YABU and you'll just have to suck it up. I've been having to cope alone with reading unhelpful, unsympathetic posts since first joining MN. That's life, I'm afraid.
(grin)

flora717 Tue 20-Jan-15 15:40:06

It's nice to not feel alone when experiencing trying circumstances. I'd rather someone gave their personal experience and solutions to the "maybe you need counselling/ ltb" stand by of MNetters with nothing to really add to a discussion. Obviously sometimes LTB / seek counselling IS good advice. But, it is more useful when someone says "I found counselling very useful when this happened to me".
If a poster wanted generic "haven't got a clue really but here's a bunch of flowers" response, they'd probably ask someone in RL.

AMumInScotland Tue 20-Jan-15 15:44:45

It depends on the tone. If it a sympathetic "I was in that situation and it turned out fine, try not to worry about it ahead of time" then that's helpful in its own way.

But there are certainly some "FFS you don't know you're born, I'd have given my right arm to only have double pneumonia" responses.

Stratter5 Tue 20-Jan-15 16:04:08

YABU. Sharing shit childrearing moments is part of life's rich tapestry. Sometimes it's comforting to know you're not the only one.

angeleyes72 Tue 20-Jan-15 16:56:57

I think it is the tone that is the crux. Its the ones which imply that they are so perfect and that the op is making a fuss which I find annoying.

SomewhereIBelong Tue 20-Jan-15 16:58:52

but sometimes the op is just making a fuss...

angeleyes72 Tue 20-Jan-15 16:59:21

Obviously the sharing of experience is great if done in a nice way. It just seems thst often it isn't.

SomewhereIBelong Tue 20-Jan-15 17:01:48

sorry... sometimes posters do get on my nerves for their "oh poor me, woe is me, how will I cope... blah, blah, blah..." when it is a perfectly normal thing, just gone a bit wrong

you just get on with it like everybody else does... sometimes shit happens and you shovel it out the way and carry on.

ILovePud Tue 20-Jan-15 17:04:11

I know what you mean OP, it's rare to read a thread where some of the responses aren't a bit mean though in the main I think people are helpful and supportive when someone posts about a real problem.

SquinkiesRule Tue 20-Jan-15 18:21:19

LOL I was alone with a three day old and a 5 year old as Dh had to work, with no help, so not quite a toddler. But from that I can give a list of what not to do as I mad all kinds of mistakes and if I had a do over I'd not do them.
Sometimes it's good to know you aren't alone, it's happened to others and get practical advice on what worked or didn't in my case

Cantbelievethisishappening Tue 20-Jan-15 18:26:16

YABU
Some posters do seem really flaky. I guess others who have had to suck it up in really quite challenging circumstances so may well become irritated. One of those things I guess.

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