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To have an allergic reaction to this letter from school - is it misguided?

(238 Posts)
Somethingtodo Tue 20-Jan-15 09:55:38

I am fully supportive of a uniform policy and enforcing it - but fond the language below offensive for some reason - like to girls are to blame for sexual should I respond - want to make a point in a reasonable rational way...

Dear Parent/Guardian,
Urgent: Appropriate Uniform Standards
Unfortunately, I am forced to write to you again to request that you support our drive for every student to
attend school appropriately dressed. We must ask you to review the uniform your child has to ensure, for
instance, that skirts are of the appropriate length of decency. The school policy has always been that the
skirt needs to be knee length but some of our female students are not dressed appropriately with a normal
and reasonable standard of modesty. This is unacceptable and a safeguarding concern as some are
indecently placed halfway up the thigh. From next Monday 26th January 2015 I will strictly enforce this
basic expectation and any student wearing a skirt at an inappropriate length above their knee will be
issued with a serious sanction for flouting school expectations. I appreciate your full support in this as we
are work together to keep students safe.

PfftTheMagicDraco Tue 20-Jan-15 09:57:02

A safeguarding concern??!! FFS

cailindana Tue 20-Jan-15 09:58:28

Don't you know that skirts cause rape?

Silly woman, we can't let girls out in short skirts, they have to wear long ones or they'll get themselves attacked, the sluts.

iklboo Tue 20-Jan-15 09:58:54

Indecently placed?

MaidOfStars Tue 20-Jan-15 09:58:56

I agree it's very problematic language and I would raise it with the school. And there's just no need for any 'safeguarding issues' to be raised (it's clearly an attempt to manipulate favourable opinion of the letter). What's wrong with 'This is the uniform requirement, those not conforming will be sanctioned'?

mummymeister Tue 20-Jan-15 09:59:13

Is this a mixed or all girls school? I would support the policy but the way the girls with short skirts have been portrayed as some sort of minxs is pretty offensive in my opinion. girls wear short skirts because it is the fashion and it is about rebellion and we all did it. letters like this just shouldn't be sent out in this day and age. rather than sanctions, why don't the school do what mine used to: keep a selection of hideous crimpolene skirts in various sizes the right length which if you had a skirt that was too short you had to change into and wear until you had one that was right. trust me no wanted those static monsters.

invisiblecrown Tue 20-Jan-15 09:59:28

Completely wrong.

The letter should state 'these are the rules, but some girls aren't following them. Make sure your kid is.'

They get fuck off to the far side of fuck blaming children for being sexualised.

DuelingFanjo Tue 20-Jan-15 10:00:37

it's utter bollocks, decency, modesty, indecent, keeping them safe... what the fuck do they think will happen if a child wears a skirt that is short. Do they think it will send the boys or the teachers into uncontrollable spasms of desire?

I would write to complain.

LittleMissRayofHope Tue 20-Jan-15 10:00:44

I think it's reasonable language if not a bit overkill. I don't find it offensive or that it is saying that school age girls are asking for it.
Teenage girls are immature about such things and only thinking about getting the attention of their male class mates really. When I was at school about 15 years ago we were given black wrap around skirts at knee length, parents checked it as we left for school, rolled it up at the bus stop.
It will always happen. School has to be seen to be doing what it can.

SoupDragon Tue 20-Jan-15 10:01:22

The only thing that is misguided is the final comment about keeping students safe.

I think half way up the thigh is indecently placed for a school skirt. would think the same of a boy in similarly short shorts should they wear them.

kaykayred Tue 20-Jan-15 10:02:19

I think expecting students to adhere to the uniform - including skirt length - is perfectly acceptable. Sanctions are fine.

The language they are using in their letter is pretty offensive though. I would write in to complain about their very poor choice of language.

SoupDragon Tue 20-Jan-15 10:04:27

I think it is a matter of dressing appropriately for the environment. Very short skirts are appropriate for casual/club wear not a school or work environment.

DuelingFanjo Tue 20-Jan-15 10:04:37

Could you think of a better way for them to put it, which doesn't use such blaming language?
Is there nothing in there aimed at the boys? Did they even send it to parents of boys?

MrsTawdry Tue 20-Jan-15 10:05:30

Oh yes....we've all got to watch out for Rapey Skirt. It's a well known fact that SKIRTS and not RAPISTS cause rape OP.

Get a well written complaint in.

Onceuponatimetherewas Tue 20-Jan-15 10:06:25

This is awful. All the schools around here have school uniform for girls which includes mini skirts. Including my DD's very respectable girls' grammar. All the skirts from these various schools are above the knee - you can't buy them any longer. I'd do some research on this (uniform lists often published online, specifying length of skirt), and include it in your letter.

WowOoo Tue 20-Jan-15 10:07:36

I agree with SoupDragon. Plus, the word 'modesty' seems.....I don't know.

I wouldn't wear a very short skirt to work as it's inappropriate. This is the reason I gave a friends' teenage daughter. It's too cold also. Full length thick trousers?!

cailindana Tue 20-Jan-15 10:07:51

I think it would be perfectly fine to say "as we are preparing our students for the world of work, we would like to teach them about appropriate dress. Short skirts are not appropriate for a work environment and as such will not be allowed in the school."

As ever I ask, why issue a uniform that is not suitable? Give the girls TROUSERS for fuck sake!!

SoupDragon Tue 20-Jan-15 10:08:06

Is there nothing in there aimed at the boys? Did they even send it to parents of boys?

TBH, there is usually very little room in the boy's uniform code to allow them similar infringements and I doubt many of them are wearing skirts that finish half way up their thighs.

DSs are not allowed to wear skinny trousers and this is enforced but there isn't really anything similar to a thigh high skirt for a boy to wear is there? Shorts tend not to be allowed.

Somethingtodo Tue 20-Jan-15 10:08:43

Thanks all - will write to the school - as I said fully supportive of a the uniform policy and adhering to it - this is a mixed school - alarmed that the pupils will given this message/sentiment as well.

KatOD Tue 20-Jan-15 10:09:12

Wow. Just wow. It is really sad that such opinions are still considered valid. I would write back saying how extremely disappointed I was in this and how it saddened me deeply that such pernicious victim-blaming beliefs are held at my child's school.

PunkHedgehog Tue 20-Jan-15 10:09:51

They are BU for using that language.

But unless they smeared the letter in peanut oil and cat fur YAalsoBU to say you're having an allergic reaction to it. If you're going to complain about language, be careful how you use it yourself.

highlighta Tue 20-Jan-15 10:10:14

I would be pretty miffed to get a letter like that from school.

I am not disagreeing that the skirt length should be worn as per the school rules, but whoever wrote that letter, shouldn't be teaching English....

CaptainAnkles Tue 20-Jan-15 10:10:27

I would be composing angry emails and possibly practising my newspaper sad face

TychosNose Tue 20-Jan-15 10:11:33

Please complain. I would be very concerned that whoever wrote the letter has an unacceptable attitude towards the victims of sexual assault, as many people do, sadly. They need to be challenged.

DuelingFanjo Tue 20-Jan-15 10:13:06

Surely short skirts are fine but in this weather a nice pair of thick wooly tights would be appropriate. Maybe they can write that into their uniform policy?

If I had a teenage girl I would be encouraging her to start a protest by getting all her friends to wear trousers into school.

Unfortunately I only have a son so I guess I will just have to teach him not to look at people in short skirts in case he can't stop himself.

Maybe I will just teach him that clothes are not dangerous.

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