To be miffed at wives turning up at stag do

[1wokeuplikethis]

My df had his stag do & 2 of the guys wives turned up in the club with them.

My df doesn't mind/care but I feel a bit miffed. It's just for blokes surely? Also a bit peeved that the women put pictures on fbook of the stag do, not tagged me & it seems a bit cloying of them to turn up - why not just let your bloke enjoy a very rare boys night? Why put pics on Facebook like we're here and you're not.

I won't mention anything to anybody as there's no point and I don't feel angry, more bemused and don't really get it. AIBU?

[PterodactylTeaParty]

Why do you assume they were muscling their way in, rather than maybe being asked to come along by their husbands or something? I wouldn't have wanted to go if I was them, but I don't see why you mind if your fiancé didn't. It's not like men-only stag nights are some sacred ritual that need us all to band together for their protection, is it?

[BolshierAyraStark]

Bad form, wouldn't dream of turning up to a stag do that DH was at. Wonder if they were perhaps checking up on proceedings...

[bigjimsdiamondmine]

I don't see the problem, surely people have mates of both genders, I don't think its an issue anymore.

[MrsItsNoworNotatAll]

I wouldn't have gone either. And I get you being peeved at them putting photos on Fb and not tagging you. It would come across to me like 'ooh we got to come and you didn't' although I hope they weren't thinking like that cos that would be pathetic.

[ILovePud]

If your dad doesn't care I wouldn't waste any more mental energy on this. I don't think I'd necessarily characterise it as cloying or make the assumption that the posting of pictures on facebook was aimed as some kind of snide dig though (unless this view is informed by prior knowledge of these women). I wouldn't turn up uninvited at a stag do but maybe their partners had asked them along and had a different view of the night out.

[DisgruntledAardvark]

I would think it was weird. Not because they are women - if my partner had female friends I'd expect them to be at the stag do - but because they're the friends' partners. I'd be pissed off if my friends' partners turned up at the hen party (unless I was genuinely good friends with them, same as for the stag party.)

[MrsItsNoworNotatAll]

Or it could have been that these wives were on a night out too and just happened to turn up at the same club.

[TidyDancer]

If they turned up as wives rather than as friends of the groom, then yanbu.

[wheresthelight]

I guess it depends on whether they too are friends of the stag. I have been on a couple of stag dp's because I am a close friend of the groom rather than the bride and been on many a hen night where blokes have been along because they are friends of the bride.

[RJnomore]

Don't you think you are taking this a bit too seriously? Perhaps their husbands wanted them there? Why are you acting like its a deliberate snub to you?

Having said that, I find Thr concept of both hen and stag dos ludicrous in the first place and I am not on Facebook because I can't be arsed with amount of angst that goes on over what people do and do not post/tag/like on it, so I just cannot imagine getting het up about this at all.

[Marylou62]

I had a friends DH turn up at a hen do...years later it turns out hes a controlling man who was convinced we were all going to have sex with the stripper (no stripper at all, just a load of women having a laugh...don't think we talked to a man all night)...strange

[FryOneFatManic]

Is this your fiancé? YANBU, I wouldn't dream of going to a stag do unless I'd been invited as myself. I wouldn't go as DP's partner, it smacks of checking up on him.

[CaptainAnkles]

Fiancé or dad? Because the former I think YANBU but the latter maybe a bit U.

[Theboodythatrocked]

Arnt stag dos and hen dos a tad old fashioned now really?

[parakeet]

What RJ said.

[toomuchnutella]

theboody thats what i was thinking.

[1wokeuplikethis]

Mixed reactions then. They are df's friends also, but I just think it's weird. And the men and husbands hardly get to see each other so surely just let them get on with having a fun night all together. I think it's all strange.

[blueshoes]

Were you miffed your df did not invite you along?

[MadamG]

Who is DF to you? Friend? Father? Fiancé? I can understand why you wouldn't be tagged in fb photos, you were not there. Think you are bU to let it worry you if it doesn't worry you DF.

[Theboodythatrocked]

Yes too I mean everyone has loads of friends of both sexes so why not just all go out together.

It's wierd.

[formerbabe]

It is weird...my first thought would be they don't trust their men. IRL I do know women who have a shit fit every time their other half goes out without them...I actually find it pathetic.

[NakedFamilyFightClub]

If they're your DF's friends too I don't think it's wierd. My DH and I 'share' some friends who are in relationships so they came along to both his stag do and my hen do. We could have had one big event, but aside from them our friendship groups don't merge much, so separate was more fun.

[ILovePud]

Ahh I read this as darling father not darling fiancé, ok I can see more where you're coming from if it was your partner's stag do in that case.

[1wokeuplikethis]

Yep definitely my fiancé. Not my dad.

[LoisWilkerson15]

Maybe the wives were out too and just met up with the men later for the last drink? I get your point though op, its a bit odd. Stags and hens are still quite traditional where I live and this would be unusual although my bil had a female best mate who went to his stag and no one batted an eye, rightly so.