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To be miffed at wives turning up at stag do

(82 Posts)
1wokeuplikethis Sun 18-Jan-15 10:17:32

My df had his stag do & 2 of the guys wives turned up in the club with them.

My df doesn't mind/care but I feel a bit miffed. It's just for blokes surely? Also a bit peeved that the women put pictures on fbook of the stag do, not tagged me & it seems a bit cloying of them to turn up - why not just let your bloke enjoy a very rare boys night? Why put pics on Facebook like we're here and you're not.

I won't mention anything to anybody as there's no point and I don't feel angry, more bemused and don't really get it. AIBU?

PterodactylTeaParty Sun 18-Jan-15 10:24:11

Why do you assume they were muscling their way in, rather than maybe being asked to come along by their husbands or something? I wouldn't have wanted to go if I was them, but I don't see why you mind if your fiancé didn't. It's not like men-only stag nights are some sacred ritual that need us all to band together for their protection, is it?

BolshierAyraStark Sun 18-Jan-15 10:33:31

Bad form, wouldn't dream of turning up to a stag do that DH was at. Wonder if they were perhaps checking up on proceedings...

bigjimsdiamondmine Sun 18-Jan-15 10:36:22

I don't see the problem, surely people have mates of both genders, I don't think its an issue anymore.

MrsItsNoworNotatAll Sun 18-Jan-15 10:39:44

I wouldn't have gone either. And I get you being peeved at them putting photos on Fb and not tagging you. It would come across to me like 'ooh we got to come and you didn't' although I hope they weren't thinking like that cos that would be pathetic.

ILovePud Sun 18-Jan-15 10:41:43

If your dad doesn't care I wouldn't waste any more mental energy on this. I don't think I'd necessarily characterise it as cloying or make the assumption that the posting of pictures on facebook was aimed as some kind of snide dig though (unless this view is informed by prior knowledge of these women). I wouldn't turn up uninvited at a stag do but maybe their partners had asked them along and had a different view of the night out.

DisgruntledAardvark Sun 18-Jan-15 10:41:47

I would think it was weird. Not because they are women - if my partner had female friends I'd expect them to be at the stag do - but because they're the friends' partners. I'd be pissed off if my friends' partners turned up at the hen party (unless I was genuinely good friends with them, same as for the stag party.)

MrsItsNoworNotatAll Sun 18-Jan-15 10:41:49

Or it could have been that these wives were on a night out too and just happened to turn up at the same club.

TidyDancer Sun 18-Jan-15 10:42:51

If they turned up as wives rather than as friends of the groom, then yanbu.

wheresthelight Sun 18-Jan-15 10:45:14

I guess it depends on whether they too are friends of the stag. I have been on a couple of stag dp's because I am a close friend of the groom rather than the bride and been on many a hen night where blokes have been along because they are friends of the bride.

RJnomore Sun 18-Jan-15 10:46:41

Don't you think you are taking this a bit too seriously? Perhaps their husbands wanted them there? Why are you acting like its a deliberate snub to you?

Having said that, I find Thr concept of both hen and stag dos ludicrous in the first place and I am not on Facebook because I can't be arsed with amount of angst that goes on over what people do and do not post/tag/like on it, so I just cannot imagine getting het up about this at all.

Marylou62 Sun 18-Jan-15 10:47:58

I had a friends DH turn up at a hen do...years later it turns out hes a controlling man who was convinced we were all going to have sex with the stripper (no stripper at all, just a load of women having a laugh...don't think we talked to a man all night)...strange

FryOneFatManic Sun 18-Jan-15 10:48:50

Is this your fiancé? YANBU, I wouldn't dream of going to a stag do unless I'd been invited as myself. I wouldn't go as DP's partner, it smacks of checking up on him.

CaptainAnkles Sun 18-Jan-15 10:50:04

Fiancé or dad? Because the former I think YANBU but the latter maybe a bit U.

Theboodythatrocked Sun 18-Jan-15 10:52:05

Arnt stag dos and hen dos a tad old fashioned now really?

parakeet Sun 18-Jan-15 10:53:03

What RJ said.

toomuchnutella Sun 18-Jan-15 10:54:48

theboody thats what i was thinking.

1wokeuplikethis Sun 18-Jan-15 11:02:01

Mixed reactions then. They are df's friends also, but I just think it's weird. And the men and husbands hardly get to see each other so surely just let them get on with having a fun night all together. I think it's all strange.

blueshoes Sun 18-Jan-15 11:02:08

Were you miffed your df did not invite you along?

MadamG Sun 18-Jan-15 11:03:02

Who is DF to you? Friend? Father? Fiancé? I can understand why you wouldn't be tagged in fb photos, you were not there. Think you are bU to let it worry you if it doesn't worry you DF.

Theboodythatrocked Sun 18-Jan-15 11:04:44

Yes too I mean everyone has loads of friends of both sexes so why not just all go out together.

It's wierd.

formerbabe Sun 18-Jan-15 11:06:43

It is first thought would be they don't trust their men. IRL I do know women who have a shit fit every time their other half goes out without them...I actually find it pathetic.

NakedFamilyFightClub Sun 18-Jan-15 11:10:50

If they're your DF's friends too I don't think it's wierd. My DH and I 'share' some friends who are in relationships so they came along to both his stag do and my hen do. We could have had one big event, but aside from them our friendship groups don't merge much, so separate was more fun.

ILovePud Sun 18-Jan-15 11:13:47

Ahh I read this as darling father not darling fiancé, ok I can see more where you're coming from if it was your partner's stag do in that case.

1wokeuplikethis Sun 18-Jan-15 11:32:48

Yep definitely my fiancé. Not my dad.

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