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To make a sarky reply

(9 Posts)
voluptuagoodshag Sat 17-Jan-15 14:14:21

Pal mentioned he was coming to town were we doing anything. I said we'd no plans. He knows a couple of people where I live so is trying to catch up with them all. I said lets all get together at ours for dinner. He said great and asked if he could stay and he would cook a beef dinner.
Brilliant I replied. I said I'd cook a veggie lasagne for the veggies among us and make a pudding. He also asked if he could invite another acquaintance with whom he had had a daliance in the past. No probs I said. He replied and said she might bring her two kids, no problem I said, I know them, one is in DS class.
I then asked what time to expect him, is he getting all the ingredients or should I get them and if so what should I get. He said he'd be here around 1ish, get the dinner on and then disappear for a bit while it cooked. No answer to who was getting the food.
So this morning I texted him for any updates. Was his lady coming, was she bringing girls, what time are we eating?
He replied saying there were developments but not actually saying what they were. Then sent another message saying he'd get back in a sec as stuff going on. Finally replied an hour after he was due to appear saying he was getting a lift here and wouldn't get here until 5 and start cooking then, was that all cool.

Now he's no kids, always last minute and the last time he did this it was an exercise in faffing so I'm tempted to send a sarky reply along the lines of just as well we had no other plans whilst waiting for him to appear.
I still don't know who all is coming o dine in my house and when. DH says we know what he's like so can only expect this but I said well maybe it's time he was told straight. It's just plain rude imo. Or aibu?

Hatespiders Sat 17-Jan-15 14:19:47

Well from what you say he has form for this, so I wouldn't have put my head in the noose again and have all this hassle once more.
Do not invite him in the future.
Regarding a snarky reply, why not just a straightforward message saying you're angry about his lack of consideration and the problems he's caused.
Be direct not snarky. People like this need it spelt out in capitals and waved in front of their noses.

FightOrFlight Sat 17-Jan-15 14:22:58

I can understand your frustration but being sarky isn't the way forward thought it might make you feel better

When he finally arrives I would talk to him about how/why his faffing around has upset you and your plans. He might think you are overreacting as it seems he has always been like this and won't see it from your point of view.

If he is a good friend then you may have to accept that he isn't going to change and just sort of 'expect the worst' from him. The alternative is to stop making arrangements to see him but that does seem a bit extreme. I had an ex boyfriend like this so I can totally see it from your point of view.

voluptuagoodshag Sat 17-Jan-15 14:24:22

He kind of invited himself. And whilst we don't have anything specific on and it'll be lovely to see everyone I'll be calling the shots in future.

PrettyBlueTrees Sat 17-Jan-15 15:10:45

You are a saint.

I could not put up with this at all.

I'm very happy to welcome guests to my home, but I need to know who, when and what in advance if people are coming for a meal.

voluptuagoodshag Sat 17-Jan-15 15:59:29

That's the thing, I think because he's offered to cook, he doesn't need to be any more specific. Last time he forgot that one of us was veggie and then cooked everything with meat product in it. The poor woman was starving.

So at least this time I've cooked a massive veggie dish which we can all eat and a pudding. Have calmed down now as I know everyone will be fed and not leave my home wanting. I'll feed the kids first. Has finally informed me that lady friend isn't coming so at least I now know numbers.

My opinion of him has changed in last while. Before I thought he was always funny, amusing and chatty. It was me who actually introduced him to the lady friend as I thought they'd be a good match. They got on like a house on fire then he did something similar to her when she was expecting him to visit over Xmas period. He apparently woke with a hangover and couldn't be arsed making the 80 mile journey so he told her this on FB and wondered why she went apeshit!
He is good company but I won't let this happen a third time. This me who is the twit for thinking he'd actually be more considerate.

HowCanIMissYouIfYouWontGoAway Sat 17-Jan-15 16:02:14

Have you told him that his behaviour is unacceptable and that he is taking the piss?

Perhaps it's time to.

Vivacia Sat 17-Jan-15 16:05:56

You are a saint. or a martyr.

I agree with the posters saying that you need to speak plainly with this man. Sarcasm and texts are not the way to do this.

Glad to hear there won't be a third time OP.

voluptuagoodshag Sat 17-Jan-15 17:11:22

Meant to stay he thinks he doesn't need to be more specific. Not me.

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