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to think discussions about breasts are not offensive

(20 Posts)
GingerCuddleMonster Thu 15-Jan-15 21:27:05

I am fully prepared to be told I am BU, but I think I'm being outraged on behalf of a friend.

my friend who I met whilst pregnant and we have children 2 days apart today got called in to the managers office because she had a conversation with a small group of women about her breast augmentation she was told it was inappropriate and offensive and that the manager didn't want her labeled hmm

am I bu to think a discussion on breasts and just general chit chat about a medical procedure as in price, size, did it hurt, and where did you go quietly amongst a group of adults is not offensive?

the conversation must have been overheated by someone else, she has since been told the conversation is fine to have in the break room, but not on the office floor confused.

my friend has laughed it off, as it wasn't a formal disciplinary but still I think it's all a bit OTT, she didn't seem bothered by it, but for some reason I am confused.

sharonthewaspandthewineywall Thu 15-Jan-15 21:28:53

It's not particularly professional discussing your tits tbh

lljkk Thu 15-Jan-15 21:29:31

Not offensive just not very professional to talk about body parts at length during work time, in my mind. Depends on environment, too.

(I thought for sure this was going to be another free speech shouldn't be allowed to offend thread)

grocklebox Thu 15-Jan-15 21:31:38

Talking about boob jobs isn't very professional, and might well make people uncomfortable. It's all about context, and in this case, yabu.

MrsTawdry Thu 15-Jan-15 21:32:16

YABU. It's not an appropriate conversation for a working environment.

ForalltheSaints Thu 15-Jan-15 21:32:17

I do not know your friend's workplace. It probably only needs one person to be offended and complain for such a conversation with the manager to take place. There are also some managers who are scared/frightened not to have taken any action, especially if the complainer then says that for religious or cultural reasons such a conversation is inappropriate and they were ignored.

It could of course just be that the manager feels there was too much conversation during work hours and so it's an excuse to stop/reduce it.

GingerCuddleMonster Thu 15-Jan-15 21:34:29

from what I can gather it was far from an in depth conversation just a yes I've had them done, cost about 4k and no didn't hurt much and on with work, but fair enough.

she didn't seem bothered by it all. she did however send me a message after saying, hope I don't get pulled in next for the breast feeding conversation I had too with a colleague. She reckons boosms are embargoed now grin.

Aridane Fri 16-Jan-15 08:33:56

An inappropriate conversation for the workplace

Meloria Fri 16-Jan-15 09:09:57

Definitely inappropriate. It wouldn't be particularly appropriate to discuss the ins and outs of any medical procedure unless you can 100% guarantee every person there wants to hear about it.

wishmiplass Fri 16-Jan-15 10:04:51

Neither inappropriate, nor offensive IMO. Actually - definitely not offensive.

Where the hell do you work to only be able to have these sorts of conversations in the break room? Sheesh. Sure there wouldn't have been such a fuss if the operation had been, say, for a mole to be removed.

Not that I sit around at work talking about my tits all day or anything, but sheesh.

wishmiplass Fri 16-Jan-15 10:05:50

But she didn't give them the ins and outs (that I could understand). She simply talked about price, size and whether it hurt.

anothergenericname Fri 16-Jan-15 10:08:07

Surely if she was just answering questions then it was the questioner being inappropriate, rather than your friend...

HellKitty Fri 16-Jan-15 10:10:40

It could be anything. Someone overhearing could have lost someone to breast cancer, they might have hang ups about their own body or they may judge women who get them. But it's really not an office topic and should be discussed at a break time instead.

A colleague of mine overshared everything at work and was warned by her manager to stop discussing her periods and abortion with a 19 year old man we both worked with. He'd complained - rightly!

ScathingContempt Fri 16-Jan-15 11:22:21

Where the hell do you work to only be able to have these sorts of conversations in the break room?

A school, a shop, a dentists, anywhere customer facing or working with kids would be a safe bet. What a strange comment! Plenty of places it wouldn't be appropriate to discuss your breasts or indeed any other personal information.

OP, yabu. In the break room is fine, but not at the coal face.

OTheHugeManatee Fri 16-Jan-15 11:27:39

Depends entirely on the office. In my office it'd be OK but inadvisable: I work with a load of pervy old chauvinists brokers and you'd be mad to talk openly about a boob job in front of the as the responses you'd get would be utterly unprintable.

I don't think it's massively professional in any workplace though.

wishmiplass Fri 16-Jan-15 11:36:50

It's not a strange comment because I don't think it's offensive to talk about breasts.

Perhaps I read the thread wrong, but when the OP asked whether she was BU to think a general discussion on a procedures (yes, on breasts) quietly amongst a group of adults was offensive, I didn't picture it being in front of children, at the dentists or somewhere customer facing.


GingerCuddleMonster Fri 16-Jan-15 17:47:41

I can't say too much as not too out her, it's not a customer facing office they never have customers and don't deal with the general public or have any passing trade.

The entire office is giggling about it like school children, seems to have tickled everyone. From what I can gather, it's a majority young adult demographic office and far worse conversation have occurred including ping pong balls and a trip to Thailand, gynacology appointments and so forth, so it seems quite absurd that this has been pulled out as a example.

Pico2 Fri 16-Jan-15 17:50:17

We've had this conversation at work. It never struck me as a problem.

Madamecastafiore Fri 16-Jan-15 17:51:18

Maybe the mother who got offended at the lady in M&S pointing out her daughter had breasts worked there r the offended daughter!

SorchaN Fri 16-Jan-15 19:54:19

I've formed the impression that different offices have different cultures of propriety. My colleagues can talk about almost anything without anyone getting offended, but I have a friend who was reprimanded for using the word bitch in a conversation about dog breeding. I wonder whether it's that people assume a breast augmentation is something sexual and qualitatively different from other kinds of breast surgery - for example breast reconstruction after cancer...

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