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Not to want to buy dd (9) crop tops

(144 Posts)
BigBirthdayGloom Wed 14-Jan-15 22:41:18

Dd is 9 and not developing at all visibly puberty wise. She said today that she wants to wear "bras" because lots of the girls in her class were. I explained that I would take her bra shopping the minute we needed to but that we didn't need to yet. On more discussion, it turns out the other girls are wearing crop tops rather than bras (did think it was a bit strange!). Dd doesn't even wear vests-hasn't done since she was a baby.

I looked online at crop tops and they look so bra like. Honestly, I can't see the point. She doesn't need support, she isn't cold.

Would I be mean to say no? Or is fitting in that important that I just give on this one? After all, it isn't going to hurt-just make me feel she looks more grown up than she needs to,

thornrose Wed 14-Jan-15 22:43:20

Does she get changed for PE with the boys? IME that can sometimes make girls want to start covering up.

BigBirthdayGloom Wed 14-Jan-15 22:44:35

I don't think so-I'll check though.

dementedpixie Wed 14-Jan-15 22:46:39

Oh just get her some so she can fit in. I got dd stretchy ones from Asda.

Summerisle1 Wed 14-Jan-15 22:47:11

Sometimes it isn't a question of whether a child needs something, more that it might be better for them to fit in and not feel different. Especially if what they want to wear isn't going to do them any harm.

HSMMaCM Wed 14-Jan-15 22:47:12

There are crop tops which are just like short vests. Perfect for changing for PE.

YouTheCat Wed 14-Jan-15 22:47:26

There starts being a lot of pointing and 'ooh look at so and so' at that age. She might be feeling self-conscious.

BigBirthdayGloom Wed 14-Jan-15 22:47:50

I kind of think I will-I just want to get ones that don't look so much like bras. Or again, get over it and buy the ones that do look more like bras?

BigBirthdayGloom Wed 14-Jan-15 22:48:35

Any tips on best place to buy...if I do!?

mytartanscarf Wed 14-Jan-15 22:48:42

Your ironing board DD wants a crop top to stop her feeling self conscious changing, to fit in with her friends and to feel "more grown up."

When you're 9, they are all excellent reasons.

go shopping at the weekend grin

wigglesrock Wed 14-Jan-15 22:48:43

My 9 year old has been wearing crop tops for over a year, they're short vests, they're not like bras. Her chest isn't developing at all but it can be sensitive as she approaches puberty. She wears them under "scratchy" jumpers as well. What exactly is it about crop tops that you don't like?

wigglesrock Wed 14-Jan-15 22:49:30

Sainsburys/Primark/Tesco/Asda - I've got hers in all of these.

ghostyslovesheep Wed 14-Jan-15 22:49:31

if she is telling you she'd feel more comfortable please consider it

been though this with 2 so far - you have to let them have some say

BigBirthdayGloom Wed 14-Jan-15 22:49:40

Need comes in lots of forms I guess. And I have always said I won't be like my parents when it comes to kids clothes.

thornrose Wed 14-Jan-15 22:50:54

I can't see the point this is not about you! grin I think I got dd's from Next (some years ago).

YoullShootYourEyeOut Wed 14-Jan-15 22:51:04

My 10 yr old dd has been wearing them for a while. When she started noticeably developing, the whole class were still getting changed for pe together, so it was a modesty thing really. They now change separately, but she likes wearing them, I buy ones that are not bra like, more like a cut off vest. However, I fear we will be bra shopping soon.

AuditAngel Wed 14-Jan-15 22:52:46

DD1 (7.9) wears these. She had to wear a fairly see through white leotard for a show and this helped cover her up (like the slightly older/more developed girls were wearing.

She also wears them under her karate kit as the boys were laughing at her when her top came awry during fights.

She doesn't really feel the cold so doesn't always want a proper vest.

ghostyslovesheep Wed 14-Jan-15 22:53:11

she doesn't 'need' them from any point of view except she is asking you to consider her as a young girl growing up and wanting to fit it

they are short vests really - she's not requesting a basque!

Ineedmorepatience Wed 14-Jan-15 22:53:14

M and S do some lovely soft crop tops, Dd3 had them when she just needed something other than a vest!

BigBirthdayGloom Wed 14-Jan-15 22:53:31

The m and s ones do look really like bras-v neck and adjustable straps. But actually, does that really matter? I'd prefer short vest type ones-but as you say perhaps it isn't about what I'd like.

WorraLiberty Wed 14-Jan-15 22:53:54

Need comes in lots of forms I guess. And I have always said I won't be like my parents when it comes to kids clothes.

Really wise words OP

And on the plus side, crop tops can prevent nipple rub which she may start to experience as she develops.

Gileswithachainsaw Wed 14-Jan-15 22:53:58

I bought dd some when she got to 7. She asked for some because other kids had them and in the summer it's to hot to wear bests under the see through shirts and breast don't have to be developed for it to be a little sensitive to have nipples rubbing on polyester school shirts.

just get her some. asda do some nice ones
they are really really pale pink so don't really show through shirts.

Dd often sleeps in them and shorties.

TheFairyCaravan Wed 14-Jan-15 22:55:01

I would just buy her some. This is just the sort of thing my mother would have dug her heels in about, and as a result I never quite fitted in.

Marks and Spencers have these White ones. They also, have them in different colours.

CaptainHolt Wed 14-Jan-15 22:55:04

DD got them at 8/9, not because she was developing or was embarrassed getting changed but because she is a total fashion victim. She gets it from her father. I wasn't allowed a bra for ages as my mother seems to think they are sex clothes so I had to walk around with my DDs jiggling about under my white school shirt until I was about 14/16 hmm
I got some nice pineapple ones from debenhams recently.

BigBirthdayGloom Wed 14-Jan-15 22:55:21

That was a cross post-not a reply, Ineedmoresleep! I'll pop into m and s tomorrow. She'll be very pleased!

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