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Was this abusive?

(16 Posts)
Royalsighness Tue 13-Jan-15 14:44:49

So I've just got home from work and on my way home I popped into Wilko to get some things and as I came out I was packing them into my rucksack and unchaining my pushbike (well out of the way of the pavement) and I felt someone walk into me with a lot of force, I looked up to see a middle aged man with a walking stick staring at me and he said "sorry was I in your way?"

I thought he might have done it to start a conversation or to apologise so I said "no don't worry about it I'm just unlocking my bike" and he said "ACTUALLY YOU WERE IN MY WAY! ARE YOU USUALLY THIS ABUSIVE TO DISABLED PEOPLE"

Now I'm in no position to speculate about the severity of his disability, as a carer for people with head injuries I also like to see myself as quite a tactful and understanding person when dealing with others, but he walked into me while I wasn't looking. I said to him "I'm sorry you didn't see me, and actually I'm pregnant so you should be careful who you walk into in future" I pushed my bike away so the conversation ended there

AIBU to have basically just argued with a disabled man? I feel like a complete dickhead.

Wilford Tue 13-Jan-15 14:47:19

No you're not. He sounds like a right dick head

LadyKooKoo Tue 13-Jan-15 14:48:40

You did nothing wrong. He was being an arse.

ElectraInExcelsis Tue 13-Jan-15 14:48:45

YANBU - he was looking for an excuse to pick a fight.

guitarosauras Tue 13-Jan-15 14:51:34

Disabilities don't give people the right to be rude and shouldn't mean that people can't pull you up on being rude.

Justmuddlingalong Tue 13-Jan-15 14:51:58

ARE YOU USUALLY THIS ABUSIVE TO DISABLED PEOPLE"... Only the arseholes grin Don't feel bad, forget about it flowers

Milmingebag Tue 13-Jan-15 14:54:53

I think I would have said that I didn't discriminate - You are an arsehole.

Mind you he sounds unhinged.

Aeroflotgirl Tue 13-Jan-15 14:57:31

With an utter plank, no of course you were not. Just because one has a disability, does not mean you have to be rude.

Royalsighness Tue 13-Jan-15 15:12:07

I thought so but I'm
Glad I didn't engage further. Thanks for advice!

CuriouSir Tue 13-Jan-15 16:11:56

Sounds like he was lashing out. Not your fault at all.

victoryinthekitchen Tue 13-Jan-15 16:16:03

I'd make a cuppa and try to forget about it, sounds like he's having a rubbish day.

HowCanIMissYouIfYouWontGoAway Tue 13-Jan-15 16:16:30

So you were there, already bent over and he walked into you? You didn't suddenly back up into him or bend over into him?

He was being a pillock. Unless the stick was a white one and he was unable to see clearly, he saw you bent over and had a responsibility to move round you. Or even ask you to move for him if he had trouble.

You (I assume) don't have eyes in your arse! Sounds like he was spoiling for a fight. I wouldn't worry about it.

Joolsy Tue 13-Jan-15 16:17:30

Presumably he wasn't blind, so he should have been looking where he was going. Idiot.

Jengnr Tue 13-Jan-15 16:23:04

I got a gobful off an old fella in a motability scooter once. I was turning left into a road and he crossed it without looking then berated me for not stopping for the disabled.

I told him he'd end up even more disabled if he kept crossing roads without looking and to fuck off.

That was abusive. You weren't.

Hurr1cane Tue 13-Jan-15 16:29:25

Jengr you do know he had the right of way though? I've had a stand up argument with a taxi driver who beeped at me for stopping when children were crossing the road I was turning left into once. He didn't realise I was transporting my disabled child to the same school he was transporting my friends disabled children to and he ended up losing that particular route.

But the disabled man was definitely unreasonable and just picking a fight. Ignore him.

ilovemargaretatwood8931 Tue 13-Jan-15 16:43:07

What a horrid thing to happen. I don't think you were remotely abusive, or that you did anything wrong. I also understand why you feel bad about it- something like that happening can really ruin your day and make you question your own behaviour for hours afterwards. But honestly, you did nothing wrong. Try to let it go out of your mind.

Years ago, I swung a very heavy and large rucksack onto my back at a train station, misjudging ( and not really looking properly) how close I was to someone. It knocked into this rather nice looking chap of about my own age and he was furious. I apologised profusely, but he wouldn't accept my apology and berated me about how little consideration I had for others around me and how I was in my own world and that saying sorry just wouldn't cut it. It really, really stung, I felt a complete dickhead also and I felt terrible about it for days; in fact thinking about it now makes me feel all hot and uncomfortable.

What you did was nothing like that, and you absolutely don't need to feel like a complete dickhead. (I guess I'm just trying to say I know how you feel). Try to forget him.

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