My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

biscuits with tea and coffee

84 replies

ZingTheGreat · 13/01/2015 08:14

AIBU to keep no biscuits, cakes, muffins, chocolates etc to offer with tea /coffee when friends pop in for a chat?
spur of moment or arranged makes no difference as I have decided to stop buying them.
I'm on a diet so it's easier for me to not get tempted during the day.

so far nobody I recognise wrote an AIBU about sweet treats deprivation, so it's probably ok, but I don't know if it is ok or people are just being polite (or on a diet too) when they have to face the harsh reality of unaccompanied beverages

AIBU to stop biscuit dunking?

OP posts:
Report
fredfredgeorgejnr · 13/01/2015 08:17

It's not a requirement to offer biscuits, so you're fine. YANBU

Report
Cooki3Monst3r · 13/01/2015 08:19

I think offering biscuits etc with a cuppa is a bit old fashioned. Something the DGPs do, surely?

I rarely stock treats. not least because I can't buy them as fast as I can eat them

And I don't routinely get offered biscuits at family and friends houses.

YANBU

Report
mrsnec · 13/01/2015 08:21

No Yanbu. I used to keep them in just for other people but I find most refuse anyway so I ended up eating them. Also most of my friends are watching their weight and if they're not and don't understand me watching mine then that's a bit of an issue!

Some of my friends specify if they want treats or not.if they do and I feel like it i will buy or make something and get rid of what's not eaten to avoid temptation!

So, my friends either come round for coffee or coffee and cake depending on what they feel like.

Report
GinFace · 13/01/2015 08:21

YANBU.

I can't remember the last time I had a biscuit with a cuppa actually...

Report
gamerwidow · 13/01/2015 08:23

Sounds sensible to me. My mil never has biscuits or sweets in her house and we've never felt hard done by. If i could get away with it without howls of protest from dd I'd do the same Grin

Report
Minisoksmakehardwork · 13/01/2015 08:25

Sounds fine to me. If I'm visiting friends I tend to pick up a cake or pack of biscuits anyway. They do the same when visiting here, at least the ones with kids do. It means they aren't around to tempt me other than on that occasion so it easier for me to manage. That and buying biscuits which I don't eat :)

Report
ZingTheGreat · 13/01/2015 08:27

mini

just make sure you bring none when you come here or I might be forced to give you tea through the letterbox!Grin

OP posts:
Report
Cooki3Monst3r · 13/01/2015 08:31

Some of my friends specify if they want treats or not

Is that true, MrsNec?! How does that even happen?

MrsNec: Hello friend, would you like to come over for coffee this afternoon?
Friend: Oh, yes please. I would like a treat with my coffee today so please make sure you've got something in. Preferably chocolate cake.
MrsNec: OK.

Confused & Hmm

Report
MrsMook · 13/01/2015 08:31

YANBU. We don't routinely stock them as they'd get mindlessly scoffed anyway.

We have the more fundamental problem of milk for visitors as we all use the substitute for DS1's needs. It can't be kept in stock, and I hear that long life is gross. Some friends know to bring some over with them. It is purely a concession to guests that there is tea/coffee in the house, and we replace it most years to keep it fresh.

Report
mrsnec · 13/01/2015 08:49

No not really like that they would say 'shall we have cake ' and I'd either say, no, I'm being good, I'll bake something or can you pick something up from the bakery on the way!

Report
Cooki3Monst3r · 13/01/2015 08:50

That makes more sense mrsnec! Smile

Report
mickeyfartpants · 13/01/2015 08:53

We always have biscuits for this purpose (and for me to munch on) but DP is turkish so its standard fare for visitors to be offered everything, instantly upon arrival!

Report
TheHappinessTrap · 13/01/2015 08:55

I very rarely just have company for a cup of tea, or go to someone's house for a cup of tea, but when it has happened I think it's more likely to have been chocolate on offer from us and from friends. But I usually wouldn't eat it. I think it's a good standard to maintain to offer planned company something edible, but if someone just dropped by I wouldn't offer edibles, and I wouldn't expect it in return.

Report
Nocturne123 · 13/01/2015 09:12

I don't think yabu however I always have biscuits for visitors and think there's something missing when I don't .

That's just me though and don't think twice when I'm not offered biscuits at someone else's house . I think it I a bit old fashioned but I like it .

Report
mrsnec · 13/01/2015 09:26

Saying that you'd get offered some today because I still have 3 unopened boxes from xmas!

Report
Mammanat222 · 13/01/2015 09:39

I don't actually like biscuits (or anything at all) with my tea or coffee.

I take sugar just the one so I have my sweetness hit.

To me actually having the cuppa is the treat, I don't need the other stuff.

That said I always have biscuits in the house, I like them separately !!!

Report
Coffeethrowtrampbitch · 13/01/2015 09:44

Yanbu, it my mother is convinced it is the height of bad manners not to offer biscuits with tea.
She regards offering only tea or coffee as almost an insult. My DC would quickly scarf any biscuits out on a plate (serving them from the packet is also rude) so I tend to bring through a biscuit with her coffee to avoid complaints.

My dmum has weight issues, as do I, and has no idea why!

Report
HolyTerror · 13/01/2015 09:52

Ooh, I started a thread a while back (probably several ncs ago) about routinely offering something to eat with an offer of tea or coffee, and whether, if someone offered you a hot drink, you would expect something with it (prompted by my mother, who would think it v stingy and inhospitable to not have cake/biscuits pressed upon her by a hostess, like Coffee's mother). I can't remember the verdict, but there was some discussion about it being cultural, generational or class-related. (My mother is Irish, and I think her generation are very much of the Mrs Doyle 'go on, go ON' persuasion...)

When I offer a cup of coffee, it's just a cup of coffee - but freshly-ground, properly made coffee with hot milk - unless I've just baked.

Report
Discopanda · 13/01/2015 10:08

YANBU, I only buy biscuits when I know my FIL or SIL's boys are going to pop over, but I tend to do a lot of baking with DD so it's not like we never have cakes and biscuits in the house. People should be popping over to see you, not the contents of your biscuit tin.

Report
DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 13/01/2015 10:17

I used to automatically bring out biscuit or cake with coffee or tea when friends came round whether they lived round the corner or drove some distance. Now I put the drink in front of them and say oh would you like...? and four times out of five they say no thanks, or, I'd love to but I'm on a diet.

Report
FinallyHere · 13/01/2015 10:26

We are having some work done on the house this month. I bought lots of biscuits in anticipation of lots of builders, plumbers etc. Heavens, they are all 'my body is a temple' and only drink green tea. Sigh.

Report
kelda · 13/01/2015 10:32

Grin at Finallyhere. We have a builder starting work next week, he's french and his body really is a temple...

I adore a biscuit with my coffee, but as a visitor, I am just very happy to be offered a cup of coffee.

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

TeaAddict235 · 13/01/2015 11:17

I find that offering biscuits with tea/ coffee is a bit passe', but still adds a nice touch to take the tannin taste out of the tea. It says, IMO, stay for a bit longer with a full tummy Smile

Report
ZingTheGreat · 13/01/2015 11:22

Grin @ builders going my body is a temple

are they body builders? Grin

OP posts:
Report
ZingTheGreat · 13/01/2015 11:23

Thanks for posts, nice to know I'm not committing a major crime then!

OP posts:
Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.