about cuddling/sleep habbits(17 Posts)
didn't really know where to post this for help/advice/a telling off.
DS is now 5mo and I have returned to full time work, I've returned home after a long day of work, played with DS, washed all baby things,bathed,fed him manage to feed myself and watch university challenge!!
and now....laying in bed with him cuddled up in my arms, am I being unreasonable/setting a bad habbit?
I just feel so guilty and like I don't spend enough time with him as it is that these cuddles make my day worth while even if he is fast asleep, but then on the other hand will I set a bad habbit of cuddle to sleep?
I don't know what do to, I'm so conflicted but I love my bedtime snuggles .
also I'll add DP can not help, he is based away with work Mon-fri so when I get home it's just me.
I'd say go with it - I always think babies know they're getting a cuddle even when they're asleep, and they appreciate it! He's getting some mummy time, and you're getting some time with him. I wouldn't worry about "bad habits" in the future, do what you need to do now. You can't spoil a baby with cuddles!
Don't be daft!! Just think of all those yummy scrummy endorphins rushing through your little one right now!
says the woman whose nearly 3 yo still wakes every night to join mummy & daddy
Life is far too short not to cuddle your baby! Best thing ever.
DS is 2.6 and most nights, when I got in to check on him before I go to bed, I want to pick him up for a cuddle (have done once or twice!). DD (4.7) very helpfully comes in to me during the nigth
most bloody nights because she "misses Mama". Enjoy the cuddles, they are good for both of you.
He will never be this age again.
There are worse things in life than cuddling your baby to sleep.
I say this as someone who cuddles her 21 month old son to sleep every night thought.
I don't feel it is a negative, it's how he gets to sleep and it's half an hour of me not cleaning up
Cuddle him while you can, they grow up so fast. I rocked my baby to sleep most nights and was warned by some that he wouldn't sleep on his own. He's now happily settled in his own room and I miss rocking him to sleep!
Oh no you're fine! It won't last forever because nature demands that it doesn't. You will get tired of it eventually....or he will.
I slept with my firstborn in my bed with me for a long time (4 years or so) and now he's 14 and hasn't even wanted a hug from me in a couple of years! I say enjoy it, enjoy every single moment because they are little for such a short time really.
thank you all, I could cry.
I'll just sit here for a wee bit longer, watching him scrunch his little nose and bury himself in my chest
Just cuddle him. I went back to work when my DDs were about 6 months - that was paid mat leave back then - and I always had sleepy cuddles at bedtime. OK, theirs was earlier but that was just what worked for us.
And do you know what? They are now almost 14 and almost 12, and there are still times when they want me to lie down with them for a quick cuddle at bedtime. Set yourself up for a lifetime of love, cuddle your DC.
I'm cuddling my sleeping dd right now! She's 4 months and I do it every night. She falls asleep during her feed and I hold her for a while before putting her in her cot.
I used to cuddle DD and let her sleep in my arms all the time. Now, at 4 yo, I have to grab a hug as she rushes past. She seems not to have become addicted to hugs... I still am though.
Oh god no, YANBU, stock up on the scrummy baby cuddles while you can! Don't forget to get a few really good sniffs of his head.
If it's not a problem for you, do it!! I cuddled DD to sleep as long as she wanted it. Around 9 months she started pushing me away and needing her own space. Definitely no bad habits started. Now, at 2yo, she's willing to accept cuddles again, but sometimes complains "Me sleep my own!" Get the cuddles when you can.
If you are happy, go for it! If, down the line, you change your mind, they can be gently trained out of it...
I only have one DS, but:
- birth to 11 months he was breastfeed to sleep.
- 11 months, for a couple of months, he was bottle fed to sleep.
- when he stopped feeding to sleep (about 13 months), would take him upstairs, lay him in his cot, hold his hand through the bars (lying on a spare mattress on the floor), shush and he would peacefully fall asleep.
- from 20 months (after teething had finished), we did "gradual withdrawal" (slowly moved away from the cot and out of the room). Until he would happily fall asleep whilst I read on my own bed.
- He is almost 5 and his preferred way of falling asleep is me cuddling him in his own bed (has been since we moved house about 9 months ago). Doesn't bother me - if he goes to sleep quickly - so I am happy to do it. If I need to do something and say "just two minutes cuddles tonight, I need to go downstairs and do something", then he is absolutely fine and happy. He is also happy if DH, a grandparent or the babysitter puts him to bed.
DS comes into bed with us pretty much every night (some time between midnight and 6.30am), but always goes back to sleep again (until 7.30/8am). He has done this since we took the stairgate off of his door (just before 3 years old). 95% of the time this doesn't bother us (unless he is ill and a real fidget bottom, but that is unavoidable).
We figure he will grow out of both being cuddled to sleep (I always ask him if he wants me to stay) and coming into our room. It isn't much hassle and he is a very confident, independent boy. So we are happy at the moment. If we felt we needed to change it, we would, gently.
Nothing is forever: enjoy whilst it still works for you, you can change it (gently, over time) if you feel the need
I hope you're still enjoying your cuddles op... DS was crying in his sleep so I just went in to him. He looked up at me all soft and sleepy so I picked him up for a cuddle, sitting on the chair in his room. I got 3 seconds before he wriggled down, walked to his cot and tried to climb in by himself, saying, "bed Mama". Not even 3, and I can't get a cuddle. <sob>
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