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Another wedding invite AIBU?

(19 Posts)
brererabbit Mon 12-Jan-15 19:36:49

I won't drip feed, My auntie and uncle are getting married and although they had mentioned it, I wasn't sure if we were invited or not as I had not had any actual invite, no txt or email or phone call or nothing. They have been engaged for at least 18 months and this week declared it would be a child free wedding (not to me as I haven't seen them for a while) but my parents got some kind of txt or phone call asking if they would be going, and when they heard it was child free apparently said that they probably wouldn't be going if the kids weren't allowed as dgc2 will be only a few weeks old then.
My aunt and uncle then said children would be allowed and have txt my parents asking for a head count and if we are all going.

I've not heard from them myself so was confused if me Dp and dc were invited and it seems we are, but I feel a bit awkward about it. I hadn't budgeted for going and we would need to get a hotel as it's nowhere near us, I don't know how I'll be feeling as dd will only be maybe a week or two old then and I don't want to intrude on a wedding where my dc have been invited as an afterthought. Should I be politely declining here, is that what you would want if you were the bride or would you be offended. I'm over thinking it massively I just don't want to offend anybody.

Only1scoop Mon 12-Jan-15 19:38:28

Baby A few weeks old are fine to decline.

shakemysilliesout Mon 12-Jan-15 19:39:39

Decline. You won't want your tiny baby passed round, you'll still be bleeding and have
Milk coming through.

expatinscotland Mon 12-Jan-15 19:39:50

Politely decline.

TagineKaput Mon 12-Jan-15 19:40:38

I'm not sure I'd go with a (maybe only) week old baby - how do you know he/she will even have arrived by then or if you'll be out of hospital. But I don't understand why your parents would turn down the invited just because it's a child free wedding?

WD41 Mon 12-Jan-15 19:40:56

Nothing to decline if you've not actually received a physical invitation!

But with a baby due at the same time no I wouldn't be going.

Annbag Mon 12-Jan-15 19:41:06

If your baby might be a week old you might be having the baby! Totally fine to decline if heavily pregnant or with newborn

TagineKaput Mon 12-Jan-15 19:41:26


KatieKaye Mon 12-Jan-15 19:42:59

I wouldn't worry about it until they send out an actual invitation to you. You can decide then.
And if you don't get an actual invite, then you won't have to worry!

Sending texts to your mum isn't the same as inviting you unless the text/phone call specifically mentions you by name.

But if your baby will be tiny and it's a long way away, I don't think anyone would mind you declining

brererabbit Mon 12-Jan-15 19:48:29

shakemysillies you're right, what the hell was I thinking?? I didn't want to be seen as snubbing them either or for them to think god couldn't they make the effort but all I'd really considered was the logistics of staying overnight. Thanks for talking some sense into me wink

firesidechat Mon 12-Jan-15 20:00:00

I'm confused. I'm reading it that your parents are not going because their grandchild of a few weeks can't go. Is that right or am I too tired to understand?

MinceSpy Mon 12-Jan-15 20:00:17

Wedding invitations are just that and not a summons to attend. Just politely decline the invitation, if your parents can go then great.

fishinabarrell Mon 12-Jan-15 21:21:48

Decline. Though I don't understand why your parents couldn't go.

BarbarianMum Mon 12-Jan-15 21:26:18

In your situation I would decline but encourage my parents to go and have a great time.

Aeroflotgirl Mon 12-Jan-15 21:29:29

But you haven't recieved an actual invite!

WooWooOwl Mon 12-Jan-15 21:32:45

You have nothing to decline, just tell your mum you're not going.

I can't understand why she wouldn't go just because she has a baby grandchild though.

CrapBag Mon 12-Jan-15 22:22:05

My first thought was what if you go overdue? It's way too close to your due date to even consider it. Perfect get out for your non invitation.

firesidechat Mon 12-Jan-15 22:30:54

Well others have read it the same way, so I can see why you wouldn't go, but why on earth wouldn't your parents? Of course they should go if they want to.

They aren't in a huff because it was a child free wedding are they? We had children at ours, our daughter had children at hers, but lots of people don't and that is totally their decision.

crazykat Mon 12-Jan-15 23:06:21

I'd decline. You might not have had the baby so wouldn't want to be so far from home. Or you may have a tiny baby that can't be in a carseat for a long journey without several stops which would be a nightmare.

If it was half hour away I'd say go but needing to stay over for two nights plus would be a no go for me.

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