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To think this is inappropriate??

(17 Posts)
nocabbageinmyeye Sun 11-Jan-15 23:17:20

So I may get flamed for this but I am interested to see what other people think:

Recently there was a car accident (Ireland), a terrible accident where 4 girls aged 17 - 20 lost their lives, the driver survived but is still in hospital, serious but not life threatening. This happened last week (Tuesday) and the girls funerals were held on Friday & Saturday.

On Friday a facebook page was set up (and I am sure twitter, instagram etc is being used, although I am not on those so not sure what is being said on them), I believe by the survivors brother, to set up a campaign to get Ed Sheeran to visit her.

Is it just me that thinks this is wildly inappropriate? It is on all the papers fb pages here, there is a dedicated fb page for it. I appreciate her family are in shock/grieving for her friends/worried but while the other girls were being buried? Is that not crass? Is it not an awful lot of pressure on Ed Shearan to do it so publicly? I had a look at the fb page and it just seems inappropriate (struggling to think or another word without being disrespectful). Her friends/family seem to think it will cheer her up, I think it is way too soon, let the girl grieve, maybe this could have been considered down the line and in a private approach to Ed's team. What must the families of the girls who lost their lives be thinking. Am I alone in feeling this is wrong/too soon?

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett Sun 11-Jan-15 23:20:05

I do agree with you, but I think when really bad stuff happens the desire to just do something, anything, is very, very strong. And with social media the ability to reach lots of people very quickly is there too. So I wouldn't judge harshly. It's ill-judged IMO but I think it's probably coming from a good place.

simbacatlivesgain Sun 11-Jan-15 23:21:23

there was a thread about this yesterday.

nocabbageinmyeye Sun 11-Jan-15 23:23:21

Oh really simba, sorry I didn't realise, I will have a look for it, oopsy, I was on and didn't notice it

nocabbageinmyeye Sun 11-Jan-15 23:32:56

Can't find it angry

TheCunnyFunt Sun 11-Jan-15 23:36:12

It is inappropriate the way they're going about it, but I agree with Lonny on this. 2 years ago my brother was stabbed 16 times by his step brother, he was unconscious for over a month. In the time he was unconscious, his other brothers managed to get him a football shirt signed by the whole team of Sheffield Wednesday, and a game was played in his honour by the team my brother played for. Grief can do funny things to people. We will do/say anything if it means the p

mrsfuzzy Sun 11-Jan-15 23:41:37

totally agree nocab, fb and the rest of that shit has a lot to answer for, and a lot of it isn't good.

TheCunnyFunt Sun 11-Jan-15 23:42:32

Oops. If it means the person we love will come back to us. Had it not been for this amazing medical procedure that my brother was accepted for a week after he was attacked, he would 100% without a doubt be dead.

It sounds like this girl isn't in as bad a state that my brother was in, but her family will still be trying to bring her back to them iyswim? She's been through a hell of an ordeal and she won't just bounce back like nothing happened. I imagine she will be severely affected, mentally as well as physically. They're just trying to help her in the way they think is best.

FightOrFlight Sun 11-Jan-15 23:47:12

I think asking for a recorded message from Ed Sheeran (or any other 'sleb) is fine and dandy.

Asking him to visit is a different matter altogether.

Cunny how awful for your brother and your family x I hope he has recovered well. There is a difference, however, between asking someone to sign a shirt (few seconds maximum) and dedicating a match (an announcement) versus asking someone to appear at a bedside in person.

nocabbageinmyeye Sun 11-Jan-15 23:49:22

I actually do understand what you are saying CunnyFunt & LonnyVonny, I do understand it is coming from a good place. I just think on the day of the other girls funerals, surely to God there was someone there to say "Nice thought lads but eh hello not today!!" Just cannot imagine how the other families felt, I'm sitting here actually in disbelief that nobody thought to even delay the appeal for a few weeks. I think that's the difference CunnyFunt, what happened your brother was horrific, I can understand doing something positive there because you didn't have the families/friends of 4 other people who had been through even worse tragedy to consider

TheCunnyFunt Sun 11-Jan-15 23:53:24

Yes Fight I'm well aware of the differences. My point is that her family will be wanting to do anything to help her through this, whether it's having a shirt signed or having Ed Sheeran visit her. Did you read my second post at 23.42? I explained my point there.

FightOrFlight Sun 11-Jan-15 23:59:06

Did you read my second post at 23.42? I explained my point there

I cross posted - don't type fast at this time of night! Also my (computer) mouse exploded earlier and I'm struggling with this bloody keypad thingy * not technologically advanced *

Sorry blush

TheCunnyFunt Mon 12-Jan-15 00:02:03

Yes, they absolutely could have timed it much better, but as awfully heartless as it sounds, they probably weren't thinking very much about the other girls and their families. Their sister is their main priority in their eyes.

It was done with good intent, just with impeccably bad timing and some thoughtlessness for the other girls and their families.

ChippingInLatteLover Mon 12-Jan-15 00:33:22

That's rather the point though isn't it?

They didn't think about the other girls that died. Those girls died in the car she was driving. It's simply not acceptable 'not to think' about the other girls.

KoalaDownUnder Mon 12-Jan-15 00:36:09

I agree, ChippingIn. I'm quite shocked they would do it.

saturnvista Mon 12-Jan-15 01:14:03

I think as cunnyfunt says, this is a time when grief is causing this family to behave in a driven, slightly irrational way (campaigning for Ed Sheeran) because they long to be able to make a difference in the life of their daughter. While I cannot know the depths of their sadness and despair in relation to the situation as a whole, I would imagine it is pretty dreadful for them to see their child in such pain. Compartmentalising goes on everywhere, even here, in a case like this. The family of this surviving victim are focused on nurturing and survival. They trying to keep their sister alive and survive their own grief at what's happened, because the event will be life changing. I agree it is without logical or empathetic thought in connection with the other victims and their families.

nocabbageinmyeye Mon 12-Jan-15 14:19:12

I agree with you Chippingin, and while I totally see where others are coming from, I don't think the family are thinking straight, but I am struggling to understand how nobody had enough cop on to stop this or at the very least delay it, somebody surely had the sense to say it was a bad idea, but this is getting support from people, from friends/family.

On the fb page it's all "yay we are trending on twitter" - on the day of the other girls funerals!!

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