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AIBU?

Aibu to have no feelings about almost everything?

49 replies

Aubrianna · 11/01/2015 22:28

This started as a tiny thing last week when I was asked what I thought about the accountacy software we used at work. I replied "I have no feelings about it", DH looked horrified as though I was totally insane and I know it sounds really stupid but since then I have been thinking that actually I have no real feelings about anything.

I don't get excited about things I dont look forward to things I don't hate things. I don't enjoy spending time with my family I don't hate spending time with them I just do it I have no feelings either way about pretty much anything - obviously I love my kids etc but I'm not talking about huge things like that just little things like Christmas for example.

I can't decide if this is very strange or not . Dh thinks it is really unreasonable to have no feelings about things! And he swears I used to! But do some people just do things and get on without getting all feelingsy?

OP posts:

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OhShittingHenry · 11/01/2015 22:34

I have a friend like you. He was like this for years and just thought it was the way he was made. He happened to mention it to a doctor when visiting for something else and after some pertinent questioning it turned out he was suffering from moderate depression. After medication and CBT he is now back in the world and feeling emotions again.
Could this be you?

wowfudge · 11/01/2015 22:36

I am no doctor, but my first thought was possibly depression - I have been there too.

Pomegranatemolasses · 11/01/2015 22:39

Well, I do think it could be a symptom of depression. That feeling of 'flatness' is not normal.

I think you should have a chat with your Gp.

TheOldestCat · 11/01/2015 22:40

I felt like this when depressed. But maybe you are just a very laidback character? Does it bother you feeling (or not feeling) like this?

Aubrianna · 11/01/2015 22:41

Thanks for your replies . I don't feel particularly depressed at the moment and I have nothing very bad going on in my life I am not sure what I would be depressed about !

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madasa · 11/01/2015 22:41

I felt like this when I was suffering from depression. I believe the term is Anhedonia. Just a complete absence of feelings. I neither felt happy/excited about anything nor sad, just totally flat.

For me it was very different to my usual self. Do you remember a time when you didn't feel like this?

Aubrianna · 11/01/2015 22:43

Theoldest it bothers me that I dnot enjoy doing things - I feel like I should enjoy something at least . But other than that it doesn't bother me.

OP posts:

SolomanDaisy · 11/01/2015 22:43

It's probably normal to have no feelings about accountancy software, but the other things do sound like depression.

IrenetheQuaint · 11/01/2015 22:44

Do you enjoy anything? Or get cross about things?

I don't think not having feelings about accountancy software is particularly odd (!) but having very few feelings across the board is more unusual.

TongueBiter · 11/01/2015 22:44

I was questioning this very thing about myself last week. I've been on anti-depressants for yonks - just assumed they were dulling my senses, but I can't imagine ever getting excited or passionate about anything ever again. It's a weird feeling.

molyholy · 11/01/2015 22:46

I really hope I don't sound like I am being ott here, but I also thought depression when I read your post. I was going througha bad time in my marriage and at the time, I could have written your post. I was never diagnosed or anything, but looking back now I wasn't myself. My sister accused me of having a swinging brick for a heart lol. I was the same. All the love in the world for my daughter but pretty unemotive in all other aspects. Its only now my life is back on track that I can see I wasn't myself.

blueshoes · 11/01/2015 22:48

Aubiranna, even if you don't get particularly excited about something, do you get angry at things e.g when you see injustice or someone cuts into your lane? Or rant or cry?

Aubrianna · 11/01/2015 22:48

Irene I can't think of anything at all I enjoy . I used to have hobbies but I think I just ran out if timeto do them! . I do have periods of time where I have more energy and do more things but I still don't enjoy them even then. I don't actually feel depressed though . I am going to work tomorrow with no trouble, I have no difficulty in getting up and going through life.

I agree about the accountacy softwAre it is probably more unusual to actually have strong feelings about it than not!

OP posts:

wowfudge · 11/01/2015 22:52

OP - I was like Moly; didn't feel like myself. If you have stopped doing things like hobbies because you don't have the time, you are quite possibly overdoing things and not taking the time to do anything (or nothing at all) just for you. You're on a kind of auto-pilot.

Aubrianna · 11/01/2015 22:53

Blueahoes I don't really get angry but I have never been easy to anger i get irratated more than angry mostly at the kids mess or things like that . I do cry very occasionally can't remember what about though!

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Aubrianna · 11/01/2015 23:00

Molly - I'm not sure if I feel myself or not. I know I have changed the last year or so but then life has changed (not badly just different) so it could just be because of that rather than anything else.

OP posts:

Mondayschild78 · 11/01/2015 23:03

I have felt like this for a while too but I think it's due to sleep deprivation for the past year with a baby that rarely sleeps. Are you chronically sleep deprived?
Otherwise I agree with others it sounds like low level depression.

Branleuse · 11/01/2015 23:05

are you on any medication? contraceptive pill? mirena?

Aubrianna · 11/01/2015 23:19

Monday - I think I generally get enough sleep, I do sometimes have trouble sleeping but only for a night then I'm fine!

Bran- I am not on any hormonal contraceptives . I did have a mirena but had it out about 3 months ago. I had had it 3 years so I think it predated all of this.

OP posts:

idlevice · 12/01/2015 00:37

There is a long-term depressive condition known as dysthymia which has a few differences to classic depression. People with it can still often function adequately in day-to-day life. But usually low mood, despair & other negative feelings would also be present. It can manfest for many, many years so people often think it's just how they are, which isn't necessarily a problem unless they feel distressed by it (hence the usual accompanying regular depressive symptoms).

If you have had something like this for a long time and gradually/imperceptibly deteriorated from being "more normal" (whatever that is), then it can have become the norm for you and difficult to see if anything is actually "wrong". If it is perturbing you it would be worth discussing it with your GP & preferably a specialist who could determine in conjunction with yourself whether it is actually something that could benefit from therapeutic intervention.

duckwalk · 12/01/2015 00:58

Some people can become depressed even if everything in their life is good, sometimes it just happens for no apparent reason. I'd make an appointment with your gp.

missingmumxox · 12/01/2015 00:59

Clicked on this as I thought depression, from the title, got to say software blah! But it is and I have felt
No interest in anything.

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DodgedAnAsbo · 12/01/2015 01:23

Being detached is a great asset in some walks of life.
consider a career in the sas or as a test pilot.

It's usually men who get the spotlight but some of the best spies in history have been women.

Aubrianna - 006.5

Screwballscrambled · 12/01/2015 01:32

Depression is not just a reaction to life events, which is why some people say but life is fine so I don't think I could be etc

True clinical depression changes the chemicals in the brain so even though you feel "normal" you aren't but the chemical changes mean you may not recognise that your reactions or emotions are not the same as they were before.

It's one of the reason medication can be helpful because they can help to even out the chemicals amongst other types of support etc too of course.

Maybe see your gp and see if you and gp can work out either what's going on or help calm your worries.

nicenewdusters · 12/01/2015 01:34

Your post has made me think about something a neighbour told me recently. She had a really great event coming up and I said you must be so excited. She said that everybody was saying that, but that she wasn't particularly, and in fact didn't really get excited about things in general.

She has also told me in the course of another conversation, that she has suffered from depression for most of her life. She has lead a very busy and full life, with children etc, and is outgoing and chatty.

Don't want to project but the coincidence struck me.

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