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To be shocked at how today's kids speak to their teachers?

(174 Posts)
EyeScreamSunday Sun 11-Jan-15 18:19:03

I'm currently doing a work placement at a local school. It's a lovely school, nice staff etc but I'm really shocked at how a lot of the pupils speak to their teachers and other members of staff!

I left school 15 years ago, so I'm not really old enough to remember the days of the cane but I wouldn't have fucking dared speak to my teachers the way I've seen and heard some of the kids speak to us over the last few weeks. They will argue with you, completely ignore instructions, say "No" when asked to do something, there's a real disrespect for adults and authority. I even raised it with a teacher one day and she said, "yes, they are very confident aren't they?" Confident or just bloody cheeky? I know what I think... They are eight years old and act like cocky teenagers! In fact I dread to think what they will be like when they actually are teenagers.

Maybe I'm just getting older, but I was ever so slightly in awe of my teachers. I wouldn't have dared answer back, I had respect for them. Not all of the kids are like this, but so many are it's left me a bit shocked. What the hell has changed in the last 15 years or so?

mamapain Sun 11-Jan-15 18:23:17

If not all the kids are like this and your main evidence is yourself then surely that doesn't make sense.

My sister has been a teacher for 20 plus years now. She says often that the kids haven't changed much but attitudes of parents have become very different and that the reach and role of teachers is also dramatically different.

Maybe as an adult you are more aware or privy to more incidents of disrespect than you were as a well-behaved pupil?

BMO Sun 11-Jan-15 18:26:05

Some teachers are better at behaviour management than others. It's always been that way. Ask your parents, there have always been weaker teachers.

DaddyDavid Sun 11-Jan-15 18:26:05

They have to call teachers sir of Madame and say yes sir every time they are asked at my dc's school.

ilovechristmas1 Sun 11-Jan-15 18:28:33

i agree,and also how they talk to their parents,i include my kids in that one

Panzee Sun 11-Jan-15 18:29:04

I teach 8 year olds. I had a very "confident" class last year, plenty of people wanting to be in charge. They soon learned who really was top dog... grin

This year's class is different. Easier in some ways because I don't have several children chipping in with another view every few minutes about how we should do things, but I have to chivvy them along a bit more, and they are less able to work by themselves.

It's usually down to personalities, class influence, how the teacher wants to manage their class, etc etc.

EyeScreamSunday Sun 11-Jan-15 18:35:12

The school has a policy of not shouting at children. I've not heard a single teacher shout in all the time Ive been there, at my school teachers would scream and about at pupils. You could even here some of them down the corridor. Maybe that's not a bad thing though?

mrsfuzzy Sun 11-Jan-15 18:36:15

op yours might be of limited experience but hearing how some so called parents [used in the loosest terms] speak/yell at their kids and the kids respond i'm not surprised by what you say that they must talk to teachers in the same manner it comes down to the parents to get their kids on track, obviously the minority making bad for everyone else.
as far as the cane goes, i went to grammar school and the cane was in frequent use in front of house assembly, couldn't have done much good though it was always the same kids getting the cane, girls used to get the ruler over the knuckles ouch !! thank god it has been banned.

Hakluyt Sun 11-Jan-15 18:41:01

How old are you, mrsfuzzy?

EyeScreamSunday Sun 11-Jan-15 18:45:29

There was one incident where the teacher told a child to put her book away. It went like this:

Teacher: * put that book away please

Child: but I'm still reading it

Teacher: I don't care, put it away.

Child: but I only have a bit left!

Teacher (firmly) put it away now!

Maybe I'm old fashioned but that child should have put that book away as soon as the teacher had told her to IMO.

TheTroubleWithAngels Sun 11-Jan-15 18:47:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tinks42 Sun 11-Jan-15 18:51:17

What's with the "old fashioned" grin I'm 52 and there's nothing old fashioned about expecting the pupil to do as they were told by a teacher.

Quitethewoodsman Sun 11-Jan-15 18:57:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nooka Sun 11-Jan-15 19:01:07

Ha ha, my children have been that child I'm sure! They both had comments about reading in class a couple of years back. We told the teachers to confiscate the books if it was an issue, but they said they couldn't do that because they loved to see children reading!

To be honest I don't think that conversation sounds particularly disrespectful, but of course it is all in the tone of voice really. My children are in secondary school now (not in the UK anymore) and their classrooms are generally pretty relaxed with quite a lot of banter between children and teachers. They both respect their good teachers and slightly despise the bad ones, very much as I did at their age (more than 20 years since I was at school).

Quitethewoodsman Sun 11-Jan-15 19:03:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OrangesJuicyOranges Sun 11-Jan-15 19:04:04

I agree with comments that it's the parents. Used to be you could ring a parent and explain that their child had been very rude and the parent would speak to the child about it. Now child goes home and says you told them off and you get the patents storming in demanding an apology etc. parents, generally, believe their child blindly. I'm always pleased if it's gran who's picking the child up as you can count on some backing.

Tinks42 Sun 11-Jan-15 19:06:50

Of course it's disrespectful.

Your children slightly "despise" the bad teachers? nooka, really?

I told my son to do as he was told at school, as simple as that. If he carried on like that the teachers had my full support and he was dealt with.

mrsfuzzy Sun 11-Jan-15 19:08:38

hi hakluyt, i was 50 last birthday and my school stopped caning around 1978/79 ish. god i feel old now thinking about it !!!

Quitethewoodsman Sun 11-Jan-15 19:10:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Annunziata Sun 11-Jan-15 19:10:40

I think that sounds very disrespectful. We would have never dared answer a teacher with a 'but'.

My nearly daughter-in-law is a teacher and she says they are trained in college that it is their fault if a child misbehaves, because their lessons aren't motivating enough.

I really feel sorry for teachers now. There is no respect.

dustyovaries Sun 11-Jan-15 19:12:58

The problem is that most kids know they have their parents in their corner 100% and refuse to listen to reason and will not back you up. I've had parents say things have happened in class that have been totally distorted or in some cases have absolutely NOT happened only to be met with the old "well my child doesn't lie...." line and then they basically rest their case. Often if a child gets into legitimate trouble they will phone and complain. Parents are ruining my enjoyment of teaching.

DoctorDonnaNoble Sun 11-Jan-15 19:17:43

Some might be like that, but I find most to be lovely! My year 10s always file out with a 'Thanks Miss', not bad for a bunch of teenage boys. We have a few who can be like the examples mentioned. But, usually their on the ASD and if we take the time to speak to the support staff they tell us how to avoid it happening!
Did have one a few years ago who used to roll his eyes at any request and then wonder why people got cross with him confused

Tinks42 Sun 11-Jan-15 19:18:34

My sister is head of an autistic unit and she says exactly the same dusty. The way the parents carry on no wonder the children have no respect. You only have to look at these boards, time and time again, it's the "schools" fault.

Totally ridiculous.

A teacher is there to teach. A child is there to learn. It's very simple.

How on earth can you "depict" a bad teacher? your child has told you that, really?

pointythings Sun 11-Jan-15 19:20:10

I think the moment a parent or a teacher shouts, they lose a portion of their authority and a chunk of the moral high ground. I include myself in this - I am by no means the perfect parent, but looking back all the best resolutions of conflict in our family have occurred where DH and I as parents have been controlled and calm.

I do think that children need to speak to their teachers (and parents) respectfully, that's just common courtesy. I don't mean the constant 'sir/madame' kind of kowtowing, that isn't the world we live in, but they should exhibit normal courteous behaviour. Parents have a huge part to play in this.

pointythings Sun 11-Jan-15 19:23:08

And of course there are teachers who are less deserving of respect than others. It's naive to say otherwise. My DD1's Physics teacher is a classic example - he tells the class to work together collaboratively on a piece of class work, which involves talking about the work they are doing. Then he completely fails to act against the girls who is doing her makeup (including eyelash curlers) in class and against the boy who is playing games on his phones - but tells my DDs' group off for doing exactly what he instructed them to do. That is a weak teacher who is less deserving of respect than teachers who impose discipline effectively, fairly and consistently.

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