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I need to help my friend

(9 Posts)
Clairesafatgirlsname Sun 11-Jan-15 00:35:11

I know iabu to post here, I have tried the 'mental health' board and got no response. There isn't really an Aibu unless you count Aibu to be too clueless to help my friend. I know there is good advice on these boards. Following is what I posted in the mental health board. I'm sorry if it's the wrong place. But I do need advice and I don't think this is the wrong place.
I'd really like some advice on how to help a close friend of mine. She is a lovely, beautiful friend, a wonderful person. She has a 2.5 year old and a 9 month old, both lovely healthy boys.
Since giving birth to her second child, she's been different, difficult to say how, but just not herself. We support each other a lot as our husbands are both military and we're often on our own with our children. She came to me shortly before Christmas and laid bare a lot of feelings that I suspected she had but waited for her to say something. I told her I thought she had PND and should see a doctor. She did and was diagnosed with PND. I'm devastated for her. She's so lovely and wants to enjoy her little boys babyhood but can't. Her husband is not being supportive, mostly through ignorance than nastiness, he isn't horrible but maybe a bit... Detached. I offer to look after the children as much as possible because she is so tired. Aside from that... I need advice. I know I can't wave a wand and make her ok, but I need to help her.

bramblina Sun 11-Jan-15 00:42:21

Chat to your HV?

Clairesafatgirlsname Sun 11-Jan-15 00:52:51

What's a HV?

nocoolnamesleft Sun 11-Jan-15 00:55:19

www.pandasfoundation.org.uk/index.html

LongDistanceLove Sun 11-Jan-15 00:55:30

Is she getting treatment for pnd?

Clairesafatgirlsname Sun 11-Jan-15 00:58:11

She's going back to her Dr. This week. She doesn't know what to expect her husband is away again and her mum is against anti d's
I don't know what to do for her

sliceofsoup Sun 11-Jan-15 01:09:18

Well her mum can be against anything she likes, but if your friend needs anti ds she needs them.

Can you try to make her see that?

Could you tell her to post on here and ask for advice on anti ds or just look up any threads about them? I got loads of really useful advice when I was given them.

Apart from that, you just need to continue to be her friend and support her as best you can. She might frustrate you at times, and appear very selfish or not helping herself. Thats the illness. Hopefully she will improve with support from you and her mum and GP.

Lucyandpoppy Sun 11-Jan-15 01:12:55

-encourage her to go to doctors
- go round and keep her company
- arrange days/trips out even if just you and her going for coffee really important to keep gping outside as often with depression you can happily sit in one room all day.
- go to nhs website and look up symptoms of depression/pnd and what they suggest to do and encourage her to do it.
- often health visitors/drs have special support groups specifically for mums with pnd see uf any in your area and maybe provide childcare so she can go.
- go round with healthy meals in tupperware that she can chuck in oven for a quick dinner for her and kids

Hope this helps sounds like you are a fab friend supporting someone with depression can be hard so look after yourself too smile

Clairesafatgirlsname Sun 11-Jan-15 01:24:04

We've had a chat today about anti depressants I want her to feel like she's not a failure whatever she decided to do. She's talked more about anti d's I think her Dr may suggest them next week. Things are not good. I've directs getting this site but she's really.:.

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