42 stone woman - TLC

[WrappedInABlankie]

She got down to 502lbs and had to lose a bit more in 3 months to have surgery she gained 120 by having people bring her in food whilst the children where at school and work she promised the doctor she would stop yet hasn't and gained another 67lbs in 4 months

Aibu to think it's a bit wrong that a doctor has just told 3 of her 6 kids whom are all in school full time and at least one is working full time as well. "You need to figure out what you need to stop doing so you can feed your mum or she's going to die" so they may have to leave school/work early give up an activity etc because their mum won't stop sneaking food in.

She has a issue with food I get that and I'm not debating that, but surely telling the kids to give up their school/work etc or she'll die is basically guilt tripping them

[mrsfuzzy]

sounds like she needs support not condemnation, i understand the 'cheating' by getting food brought it, but surely it would better to get to the root of the problem why she has a bad relationship with food to start with and build on it from there. i see the doctors point of view but it does seem a harsh on the younger kids and in effect telling them to put their young lives on hold for their mum, that does not seem fair. family can be supportive but she does need professional help. who is 'aidding and abetting' her with the food sneaking in if anyone, because they aren't doing her any favours.

[26Point2Miles]

Her version of 'support' is people bringing her the food though. That's all she saw as support

[WrappedInABlankie]

From what she and the children said, they'd go to school or work and then she'd call a neighbour who'd come to her window she'd give them her key they'd bring her food lock up and give it back through the window she'd put some powder on the food to "suppress her appetite" but it didn't work

None of them knew it was happening till she got on the scale bed which said she'd put on 120lbs. From what she said its cause her husband left her she eats so much as he can no longer provide for him.

They gave her the op at her highest weight she was in rehab for 4 days before she called 911 to take her from rehab to the hospital because she discharged herself because she doesn't like the exercise

[WrappedInABlankie]

Oh man she died 9 weeks after discharging her self from rehab after the surgery

[concretekitten]

I interpreted it as "you need to take this more seriously or else your mum is going to die"

He was right tho, she was about to die.

I agree that it wasn't fair on her daughters to have the burden of caring for their mum who, lets face it, had created the awful mess she was in.
But I think the Dr was just saying, that they need to take her diet and her care more seriously and to find a system between them all, to make sure she is cared for the best they can before it's too late.

It was all just very sad, especially the way she ended up sabotaging her own success.

[concretekitten]

It was almost like she didn't really want to lose the weight.

So sad that somebody can think so little of themselves that they don't believe they deserve a better life than being stuck in a bed.

[WrappedInABlankie]

Yeah she was but short from locking all the windows and doors and confiscating keys they had done pretty much all they could especially as she still gained weight after promising him she'd stop.

I really thought she'd go back to a rehab she had had the surgery which she had prayed for and wanted so badly to walk again and she just Left

I can't imagine how her 6 kids and 3 grandchildren feel after watching her struggle and have the surgery thinking this was the start of something new and for her to die in just over 2 months after. It was sad to see I thought she'd do it like the other lady maya I think? she was on last week she lost a lot after the surgery and walked again

[WrappedInABlankie]

concrete I did kind of get that when she carried on finding ways to get all that food in the house without the children knowing and then discharging herself.

I thought for them little ones running. Around she'd stop but It wasn't enough

[mrsfuzzy]

sorry, i didn't realise she'd died, such a sad story though, but then again it might a simplist way of looking at it but as she had children who she presumably loved if she couldn't help herself for them, she wouldn't have done it for anyone else.

[WrappedInABlankie]

They said at the end she discharged herself the daughter said she didn't like I change and thought it was because she didn't like the exercise

The kids tried hard to get her to stop from what I saw and it was all for nothing. But they said they were proud of her for it

[Bulbasaur]

My FIL is self sabotaging like this when it comes to his weight. Not at this scale, but if several heart surgeries and ending up in a wheel chair haven't gotten him to fix his habits there's not much me and DH can do. I'm not going to babysit a grown ass man and save him from himself. He needs to take personal responsibility.

She was an adult, and as an adult she made the choice to neglect her health to the point of getting to 500lbs+. It's sad, but the only one that can be held accountable is her. Her children should never have been put in the position of caring for her. She needed to take care of herself and she chose not to. It's a sad situation, but not something her kids should have been actively involved in.

[WrappedInABlankie]

That's what I thought. to tell the kids to figure out what they will give up to monitor wasn't fare, but I don't know if I would of performed the surgery If despite all the talking to from the doctors and her family and friend she still gained 187lbs in 7 months when she was the 502lbs mark that was the chance she had for 3 months she had to prove she could control her weight and lose 2lbs minimum to get the surgery and she didn't

[Bulbasaur]

Personally if it was my mother, I would not have given up anything to keep her from self sabotaging. People don't accept help until they're ready to, and this woman clearly wasn't ready to do this yet. The doctor asked an impossible task of her kids, and was irresponsible to give surgery to a patient that didn't meeting the medical guidelines. He operated on her for the show, not her health.

[WrappedInABlankie]

He rang round loads of doctors and only one said "obviously she'd die without it". She seemed so happy was thanking Jesus and God and whoever else yet still didn't stick to the diet at that point where she gained another 67lbs he should of said actually we can't do this she'd been turned away twice before as she was so heavy it was kind of a waste of money giving it to her when she proved she wasn't going to stop eating

[fishinabarrell]

Poor woman. Poor family. Shame on the neighbour who snuck in food.

[TooHasty]

was this a tv programme.Which channel?

[christmaspies]

Why did the neighbour agree to feed her? I just can't understand why people aid others like that. She must have known it was imperative the woman lost weight.

I really don't understand how these very overweight people manage to get their families and friends to feed them. It's not as if they can get to the fridge or food cupboard themselves.

[mytartanscarf]

When my brother was an addict (not to food) he basically got his hands on the stuff by making people's lives miserable.

You just end up giving up.

Plus - I haven't seen this or anything so don't know but there's a Just Eat APP. Supermarkets deliver food. You don't need to move to get your hands on a lot of very unhealthy food.

42 stone though

[FightOrFlight]

Shame on the neighbour who snuck in food.

Most definitely - they were responsible for her continued weight gain. She couldn't have got the food herself and the children wouldn't have given it to her by the sound of it. What a shitty thing to do. I hope they feel bad about it, though I doubt they will.

[TidyDancer]

I saw this. So sad. Obviously multiple issues in that family, but I just don't understand how anyone can physically gain that much weight in under a year. I felt so awful for those girls. :(

[WrappedInABlankie]

Yeah It was a tv programme on TLC called the 42 stone woman a year later I believe.

They never interviewed the neighbour weirdly enough the kids where keeping the food away as she couldn't get out of bed to get any herself from what I saw

but the neighbour would sneak in her favourite food as she would ring him on her mobile and she thought by putting a load of suppressant powder on top it would counteract the calories in the extra food she was eating because she was hungry but it was about an extra 5/6000 calories a day from what they worked out

[WrappedInABlankie]

It was in 2012 they never said what she died of which I found weird as they normally do they just said after 9 weeks from calling 911 and leaving rehab, which in itself is ridiculous as she was already in the hospital so they should of said no imo. She got ill and died

At the end I felt for the girls they were saying that they didn't have a mum who could come outside but she made them strong and who they are today and she was always there inside but even that was quite sad

[26Point2Miles]

The neighbour was maybe bribed/paid..... It's the woman herself asking for the crap to be brought to her, paying for it and eating it! Her fault entirely

And it wasn't hunger.... It was boredom

[WrappedInABlankie]

I have to agree 26

I don't understand though why they got her down to 500lbs so she could have the surgery and then do it anyway 168lbs heavier going against everything she had said , she didn't really learn anything but to eat and ignore all their advice get fatter and they'll fix it anyway despite saying otherwise. With all that time and money put into it she obviously wasn't ready to change her ways despite saying the right things.

They should of told 911 to not come out and kept her there imo, they knew she was going to go home and eat and not exercise and it was just a waste

[drudgetrudy]

It is a very sad story but I also think it is wrong to make minor children responsible for their parent's health.
I think in this country Social Services would be involved as he children should have been getting care from a parent-Mum was too ill and Dad had left.