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if i keep a dog its noones business

(42 Posts)
lickingstars Sat 10-Jan-15 20:27:23

So a dog turned up at our house just before Christmas I took it in and we cared for it over Christmas. In the new year we eventually got in touch with the council and discussed options and they took the dog to a local shelter for a bit and said if we wanted her they would call in a week and ask us before they let her out to adoption.
The house was really wired without her. I missed her at night and the DCs missed her so when they called I said yes.

Financially we had been planning to get a dog for about a year then my DH died and I didn't even think about. But we can afford the insurance and food costs that come with a dog.

We had a dog for 10 years before this who died 5 years ago and we were waiting for the DCs to get a bit older before we got another dog. I have had dog nearly all my life so I know the commitment that is needed.

She is great with the DCs. They love her and I have now said we can name her because she is living with us now. Turns out they had secretly named her over Christmas.

I work part time 3 days a week but I can come home in my lunch break and walk the dog and my PILs pop in to see her somedays.

More importantly I have seen the DCs smile so much more when we took her in and she is giving us a reason to get out the house.

But I have had loads of comments saying that I haven't thought it through. That I am trying to fix the loss with the dog. That it's too soon to bring new things into the DCs lives. That I am not thinking straight and I will regret this.

But it just feels right a bit like she came to us at the right moment and we all needed each other. But that is obviously over sentimental.

So what do we think? Is it too soon or should everyone just stop pocketing their noses in.

Perfectlypurple Sat 10-Jan-15 20:29:05

Everyone should stop poking their noses in.

If having a dog is something you can deal with and it makes the kids happy then it is no-one else's business.

ExitPursuedByABear Sat 10-Jan-15 20:29:13

She found you.

Perfectlypurple Sat 10-Jan-15 20:29:34

Meant to say. Sorry for your loss.

lickingstars Sat 10-Jan-15 20:30:34

That's what I think exitpersuedbyabear

ItsAllKickingOffPru Sat 10-Jan-15 20:32:04

Not their business. Keep her smile

FantasticRik Sat 10-Jan-15 20:33:11

YANBU - I also had lots of negative comments when we decided to get a dog. We went ahead and bought a spaniel who has been a positive addition to our family and very much loved.

I'm so sorry for loss - of course a dog will never replace your husband or children's father but I'm sure she will help ease your grief.


Koalafications Sat 10-Jan-15 20:33:57

Tell them to mind their own fucking business, what a ridiculous thing to say.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

tiggydiggydee Sat 10-Jan-15 20:34:13

I think it's wonderful and she has found a really lovely home with you all. If it makes you happy and your children happy and the dog happy then you have done the right thing.
I'm so sorry you have all been through so much and for your terrible loss, I hope your new dog brings you much happiness flowers

SunshineAndShadows Sat 10-Jan-15 20:34:42

It sounds like serendipity to me, and you need her as much as she needs you. I think if it was just a sentimental notion then you'd have felt more relief when she went back to the shelter. You sound well prepared. Lucky dog and lucky you!

OurMiracle1106 Sat 10-Jan-15 20:34:42

She is bringing happiness to your lives. Sounds like the kids adore her so its not an upset for them. Ignore the comments. She found you and I would see it as a sign that She is meant to be with you. smile

rembrandtsrockchick Sat 10-Jan-15 20:35:12

Keep the sounds like she has found an excellent home.

AgentZigzag Sat 10-Jan-15 20:35:24

Who exactly have been making these comments OP?

It's a fucking horrible thing to suggest, that you're trying to fill the hole your DH has left with a dog!

Even though it's nobody else's business, not even anyone on MN, it does sound as though you've thought it through and will give a dog who'd otherwise be homeless a safe and secure place to live.

Sounds perfect to me, especially as you've had a taster sesh and know that everyone gets on with DDog.

What name did your DC come up with (just to be nosy grin)

IgnoreMeEveryOtherReindeerDoes Sat 10-Jan-15 20:37:34

Tell those to butt out and mind own business, how lovely that the dog has found a lovely home and even more so that dog found you.

Boaby Sat 10-Jan-15 20:38:16

Yanbu at all, when my dad died my mum got me a rescue dog - I loved that wee thing more than I thought was possible. She gave me so much love in return & while obviously she didn't replace the loss I felt from my dad she filled a hole in my heart.
I'm so sorry for you loss.

HighwayDragon Sat 10-Jan-15 20:40:12

This is how we got a cat thanks

Tippytappytoes Sat 10-Jan-15 20:41:57

I'm sorry for your loss.

Speaking as someone who took on a near feral dog just 4 months after a life threatening illness and major surgery... If there is no financial implications to your family by taking her in - do it.

AlorsMeh Sat 10-Jan-15 20:42:12

So sorry for your loss.

As for those who are commenting on your decision - Ignore, ignore, ignore some more. Do what you feel is right for you and your family. These others may have an opinion but that is all it is.

littlehayleyc Sat 10-Jan-15 20:42:27

It sounds as though you and the dog are both very lucky to have found each-other. I'm very sorry for your loss. For anyone to suggest you're trying to replace your DH in some way, or compensate for his loss with the children is insulting and insensitive. I hope you and your new addition have many happy years together.

Toughasoldboots Sat 10-Jan-15 20:44:17

It was meant to be, animals are incredible for children in difficult times too.

They can mind their own business, I hope that the dog and you all have lots of healing times together.

MrsTerryPratchett Sat 10-Jan-15 20:51:47

Very few things in this life are guaranteed to make you happier in hard times. A loyal, much-loved pet is one of them. YANBU.

Sorry for you loss flowers

theeternalstudent Sat 10-Jan-15 21:03:24

I also got so many negative comments when Ddog came to us. She has undoubtedly been a fantastic addition to our lives.

I'm sorry for your losses. Like others have suggested sounds like serendipity to me. She found you, it was meant to be. I hope you enjoy your future lives together. flowers

msgrinch Sat 10-Jan-15 21:08:07

so sorry for your loss. Tell people to but out!

I hope you and your dc have wonderful times with your new dog.

thanks thanks

RockinHippy Sat 10-Jan-15 21:12:32

Really sorry you all if your loss, that can't be easy in any of you & no sane person would think you could fill a space left by your DH & your DCs DF, but it sounds to me like this dog is a special kind of angel sent to help heal broken hearts - in other words, it's meant to be & she turned up on your doorstep for a reason

so YADNBU & the sticky beaks can butt out wink

lickingstars Sat 10-Jan-15 22:33:43

Some friends and neighbours have said it and when I have taken offense they have said that they are worried about me and make feel a bot guilty for being offended.

Her name is Holly.
Because she was found just before Christmas so the DCs called her that over Christmas between themselves. I said we shouldn't name her at that point Because she wasn't ours but apparently they " just knew she would stay here for her whole life mummy" so I was ignored.

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