Invited guest without checking I've tidied up?!!!

[Macloveswill]

I want to kill my DH, he's done it so many times! House is a bloody tip after a bit of a mad morning with DD, not to mention the three loads of washing in differing stages of completion.

DH is out fitting a new bulb on the car and he asks neighbour to pop across to look at something in the house he needs help with. I got about a 30 second warning. He may not survive the afternoon!!! Grr!

AIBU to expect a tiny bit of thought before inviting someone over?! Sorry just needed a rant! Thankyou

[AMumInScotland]

Does it matter? I mean, honestly? You neighbour will know that your house is not always that tidy. He will know that you are human and imperfect, same as he is. Nobody's house is in a permanently perfect state of readiness.

[ohmychrist]

YABU.

[lunar1]

I'm with you op, it's more than dh's life's worth to turn up with unannounced guests!

[MissHJ]

Seriously? What do you want a week's notice that your oh is inviting someone into his house. I mean this is a neighbour, what does it matter. The only person I really clean for is my mum and sister. They tend to point out what needs doing. My sister will take it upon herself to clean if she sees something. Everyone else can take the place how they find it. Right now it's pretty tidy, tomorrow who knows with a active toddler.

[CleanLinesSharpEdges]

YABU.

I thought you were going to say he'd invited someone for afternoon tea or something.

[meglet]

people who don't worry about unexpected guests obviously have a higher standard of housework

[carabos]

He hasn't invited a guest over, he's asked your neighbour for a favour. Get a grip.

[Macloveswill]

But it's not just untidy it's a total bombsite!! It just makes me cringe anyone seeing it in such a state.

[GotToBeInItToWinIt]

Unless it was an absolute hovel it wouldn't bother me. People know that other people's houses aren't immaculate all the time, surely? Washing and children's toys lying around is perfectly normal.

[Lifesalemon]

YANBU I would be annoyed too.
I would be even more annoyed at my mum and sister pointing things out and my sister taking it upon herself to do my cleaning though, that is just rude.

[MiddleAgedandConfused]

Yabu!

[Koalafications]

That would piss me off too.

[Macloveswill]

Seems pretty split. The thing is he's got form for this and knows I can't bear it, so I think he's BVU!!

[Madamecastafiore]

Untidy wouldn't be an issue, filthy would but then I'd never let my house get in a state that I would be embarrassed about.

[Saki5000]

I understand how you feel as I have felt like that in the past. Ultimately though I think/know that I am wrong to feel like that. DH has a right to invite around who he wants to invite around as it's his house too. I presume that you only have young children but when they are older they will invite friends around so you will have to get used to people seeing the house in a less than perfect state. I doubt that their houses are perfect either.

[CarmelasFridge]

Check YOU'VE tidied up? Jesus wept.

[DisgraceToTheYChromosome]

Could be worse. We've just given away a big piece of furniture, and we had to pull out the sofa. £3.87 in change, the dried out remnants of spilled drinks from NYE party and great balls of namess ming.

[QueenOfBrian]

YANBU.
Best one for me was dpil ringing to say they were on their way to see us. We were out so came home to find them sitting in the car with friends they hadn't seen in 25 years from Australia(which they forgot to tell us about on the phone) Luckily the Australian friends told MIL that they all had to wait in the car 5 mins to give chance to get in with the kids. Mil was quite put out I took an instant like to the strangers

[ClaraM]

I understand how you feel, but have no hope as DH constantly invites people over with no warning. The first I know of it is as they ring the bell! Means I have to try to keep the place habitable at all times. My Mum and Dad were really unsociable and had very few visitors, so I guess this is why I find it a bit of a strain!

[princessconsuelobananahammock]

It would definitely piss me off...but not as much as him checking if I've tidied up!! I hate not knowing people are coming & I would expect us to both sort the house out!

[JennieR60]

I think YABU, our house always has people dropping round neighbours or friends, kids friends, parents etc just take it as they find it. X

[AcrossthePond55]

As a general thing, it probably would annoy me but I wouldn't consider it a big deal. BUT if he knows it bothers you, then he shouldn't do it.

[Blackout234]

Unless you live in a mold infested crap pit then YABU.

[Deux]

I tend to feel a bit like this but have to check myself.

I think with neighbours popping in to help it's different to when you are hosting.

If this happens I usually just say, sorry about the chaos or some such. I know I don't need to but feel I ought to.

[ByTheWishingWell]

Although I know it shouldn't really matter, I know where you're coming from. I hate unexpected guests turning up when there's dirty clothes all over the bathroom floor, recycling waiting to be taken out by the door (or spread all over the living room as DD likes to play with empty milk bottles), pans from cooking lunch still sitting on the hob, food spread/dropped all over and around the high chair...
We certainly don't live in a hovel, but DD can make a mess much quicker than we can clean it up!

Agree though that DP would be in much more trouble for checking that I've tidied up.