Talk

Advanced search

Dads birthday and holiday

(13 Posts)
sharonthewaspandthewineywall Sat 10-Jan-15 13:40:50

My Dad is celebrating a milestone birthday this year and wants us to go on holiday for a week to a resort we've been to before. Last time they paid for us all including my brother and his then girlfriend.
Now this time we would be expected to pay and also take the kids out of school for a week. My dad says he will 'write to the school and sort it' (as if anyone else hasnt tried this?) but still I will then have used a weeks annual leave that I cant then use in the school holidays hence making me have to pay for childcare. DH is also resisiting as he wasnt so keen on the resort as other places we've been and rightly points out that we can only afford one holiday a year and why should it be of someone elses choosing?
I can see both points I know my dad wants us all to celebrate his birthday with him and the destination should be his choice but surely that should mean we have a say whether we go or not? My mum keeps emailing and putting pressure on and I feel really torn tbh.
AIBU to feel backed into a corner by this?

arlagirl Sat 10-Jan-15 13:42:24

Can't see the school giving permission for that.
Just tell him you can't take dcs out.

HomeIsWhereTheHeartIs Sat 10-Jan-15 13:43:52

Is it in the UK? Could you visit overnight?

sharonthewaspandthewineywall Sat 10-Jan-15 13:44:16

Trust me I have- umpteen times

sharonthewaspandthewineywall Sat 10-Jan-15 13:45:01

No its abroad

SnowWhiteAteTheApple Sat 10-Jan-15 13:56:21

Just tell him no. If he wants you to celebrate with him then he should pay and it should be during the school holidays as education is more important than a holiday.

redskybynight Sat 10-Jan-15 13:58:32

Tell him you'd love to celebrate his birthday but you can only afford x amount and you can only go in the school holidays. If he/your mum gets annoyed (and I do get where you're coming from, my parents were exactly the same about organising family things and expecting everyone else to drop everything and come) then that is there issue, you are being perfectly reasonable.

TidyDancer Sat 10-Jan-15 14:01:11

The thing is, he can't force you to go and he can't force the DCs out of school. It's uncomfortable when they kind of thing comes up but you clearly can't go and he will just have to accept that. He has the right to make his own plans for his birthday but he had to accept that if they are extravagant then that might rule out some attendees. If he persists in trying to persuade you, you need to cease giving explanations and just be direct with no frills.

What has he said so far when you've told him you can't do it?

FunkyBoldRibena Sat 10-Jan-15 14:02:23

Well, if he will have his birthday in term time...what else does he expect?

I'd have told him to grow up a bit by now - surely your kids' education and your annual leave is your concern/decision, not his?

Aherdofmims Sat 10-Jan-15 14:02:49

I could almost have written this!

My dad is proposing very similar. I have said no as I hated the resort when we went as teenagers, I am the only one with dc so it will all be adult orientated and Dh will hate it anyway.

Nervo Sat 10-Jan-15 14:04:50

YANBU

Don't go. Don't feel guilty. You would sacrificing a lot to go. Too much.

maras2 Sat 10-Jan-15 14:11:54

What is it with this presumably newish thing of week/weekend long birthday/hen/stag celebrations? Nothing could be more tedious or expensive.Holiday long birthday parties used to be for youngun's now it seems oldies are getting in on the act.Thank God none of my lot,and there are many,go in for this malarkey.Just say no,although be prepared for massive sulks and mardies.Good luck.

Flomple Sat 10-Jan-15 14:14:19

Tempting to let the school issue play itself out. But do what redsky suggests.

You need to decide whether there are other circumstances in which you would go (just a long weekend; moved to school hols and somewhere cheaper). The fact he's given you a free holiday in the past does make it more awkward, but taking DC out of school is a no. Unless you've taken them out for family holidays previously...

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now