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To not want EXH to have any contact with our son?

(6 Posts)
ShiitakeMushrooms Thu 08-Jan-15 20:37:47

EXH left me whilst I was pregnant with DC2 (planned) asked me to have an abortion because it would shame his family, I said absolutely not and continued with the pregnancy.

He carried on contact with DC1 but didn't ask about the pregnancy at all, I invited him to the birth, he came but it was awful.

After DC2 was born he said that he wanted to be a family again, started coming round every night and staying over but after 4 months he said that he wanted nothing to do with me.

He carried on contact with DC1 for another 6 months without even acknowledging DC2 at all, not even a 'hello' when he picked up DC1. He never asks about him and hasn't brought any birthday/Christmas presents for him.

A few months ago he drops DC1 back and says that he wants DC2 as well, I said that he will have to get to know DC2 before he can have him on his own as he doesn't know him at all, I suggested going to soft play where I can be there if he wants me (he's very clingy to me) and we can build up contact from there.

He has now gone back to not caring about DC2 and refused to meet me and DC2 in order to build up there relationship beforehand. He doesn't ask about him, say hello etc.

He said that he will wait until DC2 is 2 and then he wants him on his own, I said that again he will need to build up some sort of relationship with him as he never sees him and he said that he refuses to meet me and DC2 to do this.

AIBU to not want him to have any contact at all?

FuckOffGerbil Thu 08-Jan-15 20:39:44

You are very clearly not being unreasonable.

ShiitakeMushrooms Thu 08-Jan-15 20:57:38

Thank you Gerbil.

I just worry what would happen if he were to take me to court I suppose, he only sees DC1 for a few hours a week so not much at all and I do hope think that eventually his contact with DC1 will become shorter and he will just fade away eventually.

He thinks that he is superior and he was emotionally abusive to me so I worry that if he were to go down the legal route (I don't think he would but I suffer with anxiety) he will make it look bad on my part rather than his as he is very good at manipulating situations and me.

CalleighDoodle Thu 08-Jan-15 20:58:51

He sounds like a real piece of work. Yanbu

ShiitakeMushrooms Thu 08-Jan-15 20:59:17

I also worry (again anxiety related) that if we were to end up in court that he would get overnights straight away and I couldn't cope with that and nor would my DC'.

Starlightbright1 Thu 08-Jan-15 21:08:12

AS he only sees Dc1 for a few hours why would he want DD2 for more than a few hours.

It sounds like his only interest in DD2 is to mess about with you.

Make sure you keep any communication about DD2

He sounds like a lot of hot air who sulks when he doesn't get his won way

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