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Dds friend 'not allowed' lunch at school

(40 Posts)
Itsgoingtoreindeer Thu 08-Jan-15 10:00:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StarOnTheTree Thu 08-Jan-15 10:04:32

This isn't acceptable. If I was you I'd phone the school and mention it. I had parents who had strange rules about food when I was young. I spent a lot of time as a child absolutely starving sad

Of course the friend could be just saying that because she can't be bothered putting something together to take to school but that's quite a specific reason she's given so I would think not.

BitOutOfPractice Thu 08-Jan-15 10:04:47

Oh dear. That doesn't sound good.

Only caveat I'd add is to check whether that's true somehow. She might be saying that to cover up that she doesn't want lunch for whatever reason

Either way, not good

tiggytape Thu 08-Jan-15 10:08:26

You could raise it with the class tutor if they are both in the same class for registration but I wouldn't necessarily believe that this is the reason she has no lunch so would rause it as a concern rather than accusation.

Many parents tell children to buy lunch at school but for whatever reason they don't (lost their card, spent the money if it's a cash system, don't like the food, scared of the older children in the queues etc)

Theboodythatrocked Thu 08-Jan-15 10:09:56

Tbf kids do say a load of old bollocks but if you are worried just email the school and caution treat as sensitive/or couid be untrue.

Cobain Thu 08-Jan-15 10:18:20

At that age I use to save my dinner money so I would make excuses not to eat lunch. A word to the teacher over the concern of not eating, but I would not take the child's reasons as the truth.

Itsgoingtoreindeer Thu 08-Jan-15 10:22:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SomethingFunny Thu 08-Jan-15 10:25:18

I would definitely mention it to the school. "Dd told me this, I don't know if it is true, but thought I'd better make you aware that friend said this".

NobodyLivesHere Thu 08-Jan-15 10:26:20

Maybe they cant afford it and she's embarrassed to say? Either way I'd contact someone and see if they can keep an eye on her.

TaliZorahVasNormandy Thu 08-Jan-15 10:26:36

My Dsis doesnt eat at school, she doesnt like the food and is too lazy to actually take anything with her.

I'd be concerned but with kids you never know if its the truth, so I'd step carefully.

SunnyBaudelaire Thu 08-Jan-15 10:34:39

yeh I would take it with a massive pinch of salt tbh

AnnoyingOrange Thu 08-Jan-15 10:39:07

Is the girl underweight? She may have eating issues

Notso Thu 08-Jan-15 10:41:37

My DD is year 10 and has only just started taking food for lunch. She eats like a horse at home but we were in stale mate, she wouldn't eat anything from home or from the canteen. She wanted to buy a chicken tikka pasty everyday hmm

I at the same ages used to hide my packed lunch because on the first day it was mocked a being posh so I ate it in secret.

ThereIsACarInTheKitchen Thu 08-Jan-15 10:51:39

You don't need to be underweight to have eating issues.

tethersend Thu 08-Jan-15 10:55:56

The girl may be talking a load of old bollocks, but the fact that she is not eating all day for whatever reason is a cause for concern.

Definitely speak to school.

AngelDreams Thu 08-Jan-15 11:02:51

She might be talking bollocks, but you do need to report it to the school.

They probably wont be able to tell you the outcome, but it cant hurt to have someone there just keep an eye on

MrsTawdry Thu 08-Jan-15 11:08:15

Report it. They can check on her circumstances. There was a boy I read about yesterday on a food bank site and he was only 9...he began playing truant because his Mother had nothing toive him for lunch ..her benefits had been stopped due to a change in circs (her partner had moved out!) and for 5 weeks she had nothing at all.

He didn't qualify for free school meals as she wasn't in receipt of benefits!! The school knew nothing and would have provided his lunch. It was sorted out quickly when the food bank heard about it.

mummytime Thu 08-Jan-15 11:22:42

Report it to the Head of year/pastoral head. They can find out how true it is, if its true then I would think it is a safeguarding issue.

MissPenelopeLumawoo2 Thu 08-Jan-15 11:29:28

My DD knows several girls who won't eat lunch at school as it is 'not cool'. One of them rushes to the corner shop as soon as school finishes and gorges on whatever she can buy there. Her parents give her dinner money, they are probably completely unaware of what she is doing. I would take it with a pinch of salt, or perhaps mention it to the school as a 'concern'. I certainly would not be jumping to conclusions about the parents at this point.

RoganJosh Thu 08-Jan-15 11:34:44

There's no harm in raising it and letting school deal with it as they see appropriate.

myfallingstar Thu 08-Jan-15 11:46:59

If that's true of course

My son told his friend he wasn't allowed a coat confused I might add I actually told ds that as his dad and him are now the same size in coat large and his dad rarely uses his timberland coat that cost lots of money he declined

I said fine you can be cold if you want but I am not paying another xx to buy you a new coat when your dads only worn his 3 times and the one ds wanted was pretty much the same but black

Gileswithachainsaw Thu 08-Jan-15 11:55:23

This is a really tricky one.

She really may not want lunch or like the food sold. and teachers knowing could really put pressure on her or the family to eat/pack food they can not afford to waste and really don't want.

But on the other hand she may have an eating disorder and be binning her lunch. or her family could be in dire straits financially.

I guess there's really no choice though and you will have to say something

Ridingthestorm Thu 08-Jan-15 12:18:22

Tell the school. Whether you believe it to be true or not, you are ignoring a potential case of neglect if you don't report it. The child is in Y7 so only 11/12 and it is parents responsibility to ensure their child's needs are met.
However, I would be inclined to believe that the child may be delibrately not taking/ditching lunch due to low self esteem. Quite common at that age when starting high school amongst older, more influential teens.

DeWee Thu 08-Jan-15 13:16:02

In year 7 my lunch was a drink and a digestive biscuit. That's all I would eat, and had been true of the last couple of years at primary too.
Beginning of year 8 my friends started having school lunch, so I thought I'd try it, and then usually had a full hot meal.

HelloItsStillMeFell Thu 08-Jan-15 13:21:16

It sounds a bit suspect I agree, but perhaps she eats a really large and nutritious breakfast and then has a very early dinner when she gets home.

I tended to do this with my children because I got sick of emptying their healthy packed lunches into the bin each day and just seeing the crisps or the chocolate biscuit gone. I never refused to allow them to take food, I just stopped forcing it on them and made sure they ate well at home instead. I would give them a small snack so they could eat something if they really needed to, but didn't bother preparing elaborate/healthy packed lunches any longer - it was such a waste.

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