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Christening gift list???

(23 Posts)
Rose138 Thu 08-Jan-15 04:39:36

Hi all,

My son is being christened next month.

I know that when I have attended christenings I have always struggled with what to give as a gift.

I really don't like gift lists as don't expect anything but of course know that some people will like to get a gift and will possibly ask us what to get.

So, I would like to put a note with the invites saying along the lines on that "a gift is not expected but should they wish to give a gift, not all children are as lucky/fortunate as our son so please make a small donation" to a childrens charity such as Ronald McDonald. Then I plan on setting up a just giving account and putting the link on the note. So that everyone knows it is definitely going to the charity!

I just wondered what people think of this? Is it distasteful? We really don't expect gifts and of course some sentimental/religious gifts would be lovely if people would like to do this. But to avoid everyone asking what to get and to raise a bit of money for charity, im hoping that this will be viewed as a positive thing, not greedy or distasteful.

Thank you in advance for your comments! Xxx

ithoughtofitfirst Thu 08-Jan-15 04:48:29

I think that's a nice idea. Why not. Although we had some lovely keepsake type gifts for ds at his christening that he can remember the occassion by eg money box, cutlery sets, books. He might like that.

Reminds me I need to organise Dd's christening.

FishWithABicycle Thu 08-Jan-15 04:53:27

I think it's fine to put "no presents, just your presence" or the like on the invitation. It's nice to feel you can invite as many people as you want to the event without it feeling like you are doing so to fish for lots of gifts.

I wouldn't put the fundraising thing on. People make their charitable giving decisions entirely separately to their gift decisions and being funnelled into making a donation to a specific children's charity in lieu of a gift is unsatisfying for the giver as they don't feel they've really done anything nice for the "recipient" and they don't feel that good about the donation either.

Rose138 Thu 08-Jan-15 05:31:33

Thank you for your replies!

I understand what you mean about it not being personal. We had to stay in our local hospital for a week with our son and the care from the special care unit and the midwives was fantastic. I thought of Ronald McDonald due to someone we met in hospital however to make it personal to our family and friends, especially for our sons christening after what he went through- perhaps it is best to donate to the maternity ward and special care unit where myself and my son were cared for.

Thank you again! I needed a fresh perspective! Xxx

icklekid Thu 08-Jan-15 05:35:25

Perhaps wait and if asked about presents then explain about charity. No one has asked me other mil and ds is being dedicated in a few weeks - not expecting anything to be honest!

LL12 Thu 08-Jan-15 07:40:10

Can I ask what kind of present would be expected from the Godparents?
My nephew is being baptised soon and I will become his Godmother but have no idea what kind of present I should give.

calmexterior Thu 08-Jan-15 07:47:04

I think it's a great idea, people feel they should buy a pressie and a lot of things are never used.

Dailylurker Thu 08-Jan-15 08:17:11

I did this recently and people donated and bought gifts which kind of defeated the object and then I felt even more guilty like they felt obliged to do both.

Wheelerdeeler Thu 08-Jan-15 08:19:45

No no no. Mention in the invite that you require no gifts but do not suggest donation to charity.

ESP if you are having a "do". People may be wondering why you are spending money on a party while expecting your guests to donate to charity.

fluffymouse Thu 08-Jan-15 08:41:02

Maybe wait for people to ask you what to bring, then suggest the charity? That is the least likely way to offend IMO.

agoodbook Thu 08-Jan-15 08:57:19

My daughter didn't want gifts for the christening of our DGS - but instead she asked if they wanted to to choose one book, and write inside it with a little message why they had chosen it. She got the most amazing set of books given, not all new, some given from personal shelves, adult, childrens.. It was lovely

gamerchick Thu 08-Jan-15 09:00:54

I actually really like that book idea. Books really come in and I like the idea of a personal message for each one.

MinceSpy Thu 08-Jan-15 09:02:13

It isn't your christening it's your child's I don't think it's your place to decline gifts and request charity donations. By all means make a donation yourselves and if people ask then tell them what you are doing.

Hellohellohowareyou Thu 08-Jan-15 09:07:31

Love the book idea

middlings Thu 08-Jan-15 09:11:17

Gosh, we're having a christening in a couple of weeks and I hadn't even thought about gifts! we're not having a do as such though - just family and godparents.

Was I supposed to send out invites?!

agoodbook Thu 08-Jan-15 09:14:02

gamechick and hello - it was lovely - some of the messages made me cry - he was a much longed for and waited for child . Some did buy presents as well, but it meant even those with little money could afford something special- and he has his own library from classics to a bird spotting book!

nooldernowiser Thu 08-Jan-15 10:58:47

I think to make any mention of gifts is crass and seems grabbing even if for charity. Gifts are very optional for a Christening.

Godparents usually give but wider guests there is no expectation. It is about welcoming the baby into the church. There will be a donation plate at the Church (though many families manage to miss this!).

Bowlersarm Thu 08-Jan-15 11:01:14

I wouldn't ask for anything. If people ask you, suggest giving a donation to charity.

brokenhearted55a Thu 08-Jan-15 11:03:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

brokenhearted55a Thu 08-Jan-15 11:04:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I would put a note in, as another poster suggested, saying something like 'No presents, just your presence, please'.

I do think you could make an announcement at the party or at the service (if the vicar was comfortable with this), telling people how much Ronald McDonald house had helped you, and saying that you were putting a jar out for donations, if people could spare a few pence.

nooldernowiser Thu 08-Jan-15 13:19:16

I do think you could make an announcement at the party or at the service (if the vicar was comfortable with this), telling people how much Ronald McDonald house had helped you, and saying that you were putting a jar out for donations, if people could spare a few pence.

At the service the plate should be for the Church or at worst split equally between the church and a named charity by agreement however most Christening are part of a bigger service and not private- so the 'plate' is for the whole congregation.

Of course, noolder - I wasn't clear - I was suggesting that the OP could explain during the service why they were collecting for this charity, but that the collection would actually happen at the party afterwards (and if people weren't going on to the party, they could offer a donation to the OP after the service).

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