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To be feeling very nervous and a bit tearful about bed training dd tonight

(25 Posts)
LittleMissRayofHope Wed 07-Jan-15 18:33:01

I have been gathering bits for the last week to bed train dd (2.5) as she has shown signs of trying to climb out her cot. Today she did. Showed up looking extremely pleased with herself.
So obviously it has been brought forward. She isn't great at going to bed as it is. She cries and yells some nights and it can take a while to make her settle. Other nights she just goes to sleep!

I've had a particularly horrid day with her. She has been extra naughty and spiteful towards me and her 16 week old brother so I'm already shattered and a bit upset anyway.

DH is being quite negative about the whole thing - he is a pessimist but also he just lets stuff get to him so easily so I know that's going to be a head ache as well.

I'm just dreading it. I'm exhausted. 16weeks ds will be the other side of a wall from her and I anticipate her yelling to wake him and that I'll have to rapid return several hundred times. I can already feel my eyes wanting to close. I'm gutted as I know this is the end of naptime aswell. Which some days I completely rely on for getting through the day.

I just want to cry. I didn't want to do it just yet. I have all the 'stuff' but don't feel prepared at all.

inneedofsomeclarity Wed 07-Jan-15 18:43:58

I would try not to build it up too much in your mind. My DDS were both 20 months when they went in to beds and I spent a few days preparing them, before the beds were delivered. We practised lying under duvets and played being in a big bed. I bought them new jammies and got them to help make the bed up. Dd1 got it all quickly but dd2 was much more difficult and it took a bit longer. She used to keep coming out and we just had to be really consistent at taking her back-more than once she fell asleep on the landing. She got there and they are both good sleepers now. Good luck

Welshwabbit Wed 07-Jan-15 18:59:44

A bit more moral support - my son went into a bed at around 2 and was completely fine, no moans or problems at all. He still naps just fine and is now 2.8. It may well not be as bad as you think. I think it definitely helped to involve him in building and making the bed - he now has a definite sense of ownership!

Purplepoodle Wed 07-Jan-15 19:01:53

Don't panic ds3 who is 21months went in to his bed without a problem. We didn't make a huge deal, just put the bed in his room in the morning so he had all day to jump on it and play with his brothers. Then just did usual bedtime routine with an extra story while he was lying in the bed and then left. I have a afte over the door so had a couple of asleep behind the gate moments but it's been fine. He yells blue murder for about a minute after I leave him but he always did - I give him 5 to see if he dozes off then go back if he doesn't

LittleMissRayofHope Wed 07-Jan-15 19:03:03

Thanks. She sleeps under a big blanket already.
I fed her to sleep til nearly 12 months then did gradual retreat that took months ages and it's still hit and miss that she goes down with 30 mins or so of crying and shouting and umpteen returns by us for water, teething gel, nose blowing, tuck me in etc.
So she will definitely get out a million times and like I say I'm nervous she will wake my DS who is already asleep. He doesn't sleep through yet. So I'm just getting myself into a bit of a panic about it as I'm gonna be shattered and I don't think I have the energy for this on top of everything else right now confused

LittleMissRayofHope Wed 07-Jan-15 19:05:01

Waiting for DH to get home to install the gate. I knew this moment was rapidly approaching and am physically prepared for it. Just don't feel ready within myself I guess.

SorchaN Wed 07-Jan-15 19:25:19

Something that worked for me was reading a book to my children when they went to bed, then turning the lights off and promising to come back in five minutes to kiss them good night, on the condition that they were quiet for those five minutes. If they weren't asleep in five minutes I would promise to come back again in ten minutes, again on the condition that they were quiet. Your daughter wants your attention, so promising good forms of attention can be quite useful to get her compliance. Good luck!

MrsCakesPrecognition Wed 07-Jan-15 19:31:24

1) This is just a small glitch, and her being slightly more independent may actually make things easier when the new baby arrives. Better now than in the middle of new baby insecurities.
2) Newborn babies, especially DC2, tend to be good at sleeping through all sorts of disturbances. Your DDs bedtime antics are unlikely to disturb the baby much.
3) Get your DH to step up, he needs to become as effective and capable of doing your DDs bedtime routine as you are. He might as well start right now.

Good luck.

Bonbonbonbon Wed 07-Jan-15 19:46:29

Just wanted to mention, in case you hadn't thought of it, that if you haven't secured any bookshelves or dressers to the wall, you might want to consider it. My dh just read an article this week about a toddler who got out of bed and pulled their chest of drawers down onto themselves.

I really sympathise, my dd is 22 months and really interested in sleeping in a big bed but she doesn't really understand about staying in the bed. Good luck!

Youcanneverhavetoomanybooks Wed 07-Jan-15 20:27:10

We got dd1 a babydan bed barrier to make her feel secure but give her the freedom. She still has it up though she's 4 now.

myfallingstar Wed 07-Jan-15 20:34:19

Bed training confused on dd 2nd birthday I said right your a big girl now no more cot I zipped her up in her sleeping bag and popped her in her bed

Bulbasaur Wed 07-Jan-15 20:35:32

Most people I know put a baby gate in the doorway of their child's room so they can't wander all over the house, but still have the freedom to play with their toys in the morning. It sounds like you're doing that though.

In the mean time, I'd just keep a few things in with DD to keep her comfortable: A sippy cup on her nightstand, a night light, and keep the same bedtime routine.

Personally, I'd make a big song and dance about how she's such a big girl sleeping in a bed unlike baby sibling. Make it positive though "Oh how wonderful! DC2 can't even do that yet because he's so little, you're such a big girl!".

Does she use sleeping bags? I found mine couldn't climb out with those on. It might buy you a little time before sleep training into a big bed.

Or those travel cots that can be play pens are hard to climb out of? Could you pop her in that to sleep if she won't stay in bed? Just a thought.

I used a stair gate on the door and rapid return with no eye contact or talking. Like I was bored. Over and over. Until they gave up and went to sleep.

If they didn't nap in the day, they still had to have a quiet time in their room once a day.

LittleMissRayofHope Wed 07-Jan-15 21:12:18

Completely agree to quiet time. I enforce that now.

Stopped using sleep bags during the summer. She does well with a blanket and pillow already.

DH is an utter prick tonight as he doesn't want to do this. His idea is to leave it as it is and hope she doesn't climb out and break any part of her body. So I've been left to do everything alone and we've had a row. angry This is not unusual at any form of change or progression but it is fucking annoying.

Anyway, an hour late but bedtime is ere so here goes nothing. Have left the side on but lowered it as I haven't got a bed guard yet. Gate is installed and gro clock ready.

honeysucklejasmine Wed 07-Jan-15 21:20:19

Good luck op!

How did it go?

My ExH used to be like that.

LittleMissRayofHope Thu 08-Jan-15 16:38:32

He flatly insisted the side stay on. So I just had to pile pillows and blankets on the floor incase she tried to climb out again. She didn't.

I wanted the side at half height but he wouldn't have that either so I had no say in it really.

Gro clock was a winner though. She loved it and she woke 10 mins before it went off this morning and she just played in her bed til the sun came up.

He says the side has to stay at full height until we get a bed guard, as at half height she could fall out if she stands up. I pointed out that that could happen with a bed guard but he didn't have an answer....

I'm so pleased. Did you praise her lots?

Your H doesn't sound reasonable on here.

TarkaTheOtter Thu 08-Jan-15 20:22:25

Your dh sounds like a prat. She's unlikely to hurt herself if she falls out of bed (especially if you put pillows down). Much more likely to do herself serious injury climbing out the cot. Is he really concerned or just being lazy about the change?

honeysucklejasmine Thu 08-Jan-15 20:27:20

Pleased to hear that the groclock worked.

Sorry about your dh's lack of communication though.

LittleMissRayofHope Fri 09-Jan-15 04:39:05

He does not deal well with change. He has very little patience for some things.
For example: if she cries at bedtime even just once, he huffs and puffs as if the world is ending. Straight into a deep mood, seriously upset and miserable. 'Every night, she always fights it. Why??' That sort of woe is me attitude. I used to engage and try to placate him but can't be bothered now as he wont be placated. He seems to like being exasperated and miserable. It passes.

But it is also laziness. He doesn't want to deal with the change and the new trouble that can bring. He doesn't want to have to endlessly return her to bed. Even though it would be me doing it. The fact that he will hear it will send him into the above mood and it will ruin his evening and probably the next day for him. That's how he is.

So yeah, when it comes to change he can't cope and fights it's harder then she does.
But just to say, DC don't see this side of him (usually, once or twice of course). He can act happy for them, which is good.

WheresMrMonkey Fri 09-Jan-15 05:03:52

When dd stopped napping we had quiet time on the sofa in the afternoon, your Dd could still well fall asleep doing this and give you a nice break

You're very understanding. He sounds selfish to me.

How was bedtime tonight?

LittleMissRayofHope Fri 09-Jan-15 23:12:30

Like a dream thanks, She is incredibly taken with her clock.

She hasn't been very well today. Head cold and lots of runny nose etc. So she was tired. She woke during the night last night and kept telling me her big blue star is out so she should be asleep! Seemed quite upset actually!
Bless her.
Awesome kid really even if I do say so myself

Oh bless her. She sounds ready for a bed tbh. I think she'd be ok.

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