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AIBU?

To expect a card for ds?

14 replies

Mumoftwomonkeys1976 · 07/01/2015 18:11

Ds1 turns 14 tomorrow and I was just wondering if I was being unreasonable to expect a card for him from my ex. Bearing in mind we only broke up in October and he had been in ds's life for 9 years.

He still sees him twice a week with Ds2 and refers to him as stepdad when talking to his friends. I know he's going to be hurt when there's no card tomorrow.

I have asked ex whether he is planning to pop over tomorrow, but apparently he has no intention of doing this ??.

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LittleMissRayofHope · 07/01/2015 18:21

Did you post at christmas saying your ex's parents had only bought for the biological grandson and not your elder son?

I think if he hasn't got him a card/gift then he's being a but shitty but I'd also wonder if he bought the cards for the kids during your relationship?
If not then it may not have occurred to him.
On The other hand maybe he has got him something and will give it personally.
If your on decent terms maybe a text to enquire so you can be prepared for tomorrow?

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Mumoftwomonkeys1976 · 07/01/2015 18:47

Yes that was me posting at Christmas. I seem to have a bee in my bonnet about ds1 being left out don't i Grin

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LittleMissRayofHope · 07/01/2015 19:08

I would be livid with that treatment in your shoes!

It's disgusting how his parents behaved. Nasty bastards.
I was asking for a bit of context really. I have to say Id be shocked if your ex 'forgets' him completely as that would be a wanky thing to do. But after being on MN for the last year or so it seems that a great many seemingly descents husbands and fathers turn into absolute tossers after separation and use the children to get back at the mother. I don't know your exDP so I don't know how likely that is.

Hopefully he has got him something or at least calls/texts him during the day.

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Mumoftwomonkeys1976 · 07/01/2015 19:21

Yes hopefully, although when I asked him earlier he didn't seem to think he needed to bother now we have parted. Never mind, ds has plenty of cards and presents from other family members so hopefully won't even notice.

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LittleMissRayofHope · 07/01/2015 21:51

I suspect he will notice and be heartbroken. No child should be expected to understand that someone they view as a parent and a loved one suddenly no longer loves them.

Hope exDP steps up the plate for your sons sake. If he doesn't then he is just reinforcing that your better off apart. And your son will understand in years to come but right not it will just hurt.

Biscuit&Thanks fingers crossed for you

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waithorse · 07/01/2015 22:32

How nasty of him. I hope ds has a nice day, despite this. Cake

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Aeroflotgirl · 07/01/2015 23:55

Yes it is shitty, shitty of your ex grandparents not to get him a Christmas present, and bad of the man who has practically brought him up not to bother with him anymore! What happened at Christmas by the way.

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PrettyLittleMitty · 08/01/2015 03:42

What a prick Angry

Hope your ds has great birthday and doesnt even notice.

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KoalaDownUnder · 08/01/2015 03:49

I was all prepared to say YABU (as I think cards are overpriced bollocks that adults care more about than kids), BUT -

YANBU!! What kind of person doesn't acknowledge the birthday of a child they parented for 9 years?!

He's an arsehole.

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KnackeredMerrily · 08/01/2015 04:52

Very nasty indeed - yanbu. No wonder if his parents are such fuckers, i remember the ex-in law thread.

Happy birthday to your son Cake

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KnackeredMerrily · 08/01/2015 04:53

Also wanted to say it was good of you to remind your ex about the birthday rather than waiting for him to miss it and get outraged. Shame he doesn't have anywhere near the same thoughtfulness and humanity.

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ilovesooty · 08/01/2015 06:28

What a shame. Happy birthday to your son.

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Aeroflotgirl · 08/01/2015 07:55

No wonder he's an ex, nice of him to wash his hands of ds after you split. I am sure ds1 will notice, and will notice when ex gets presents and card and makes a fuss of ds2

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Aeroflotgirl · 09/01/2015 20:44

Did ex get anything for ds1 or come to see him for his birthday?

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