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To expect a card for ds?

(15 Posts)
Mumoftwomonkeys1976 Wed 07-Jan-15 18:11:21

Ds1 turns 14 tomorrow and I was just wondering if I was being unreasonable to expect a card for him from my ex. Bearing in mind we only broke up in October and he had been in ds's life for 9 years.

He still sees him twice a week with Ds2 and refers to him as stepdad when talking to his friends. I know he's going to be hurt when there's no card tomorrow.

I have asked ex whether he is planning to pop over tomorrow, but apparently he has no intention of doing this ��.

LittleMissRayofHope Wed 07-Jan-15 18:21:07

Did you post at christmas saying your ex's parents had only bought for the biological grandson and not your elder son?

I think if he hasn't got him a card/gift then he's being a but shitty but I'd also wonder if he bought the cards for the kids during your relationship?
If not then it may not have occurred to him.
On The other hand maybe he has got him something and will give it personally.
If your on decent terms maybe a text to enquire so you can be prepared for tomorrow?

Mumoftwomonkeys1976 Wed 07-Jan-15 18:47:47

Yes that was me posting at Christmas. I seem to have a bee in my bonnet about ds1 being left out don't i grin

LittleMissRayofHope Wed 07-Jan-15 19:08:07

I would be livid with that treatment in your shoes!

It's disgusting how his parents behaved. Nasty bastards.
I was asking for a bit of context really. I have to say Id be shocked if your ex 'forgets' him completely as that would be a wanky thing to do. But after being on MN for the last year or so it seems that a great many seemingly descents husbands and fathers turn into absolute tossers after separation and use the children to get back at the mother. I don't know your exDP so I don't know how likely that is.

Hopefully he has got him something or at least calls/texts him during the day.

Mumoftwomonkeys1976 Wed 07-Jan-15 19:21:35

Yes hopefully, although when I asked him earlier he didn't seem to think he needed to bother now we have parted. Never mind, ds has plenty of cards and presents from other family members so hopefully won't even notice.

LittleMissRayofHope Wed 07-Jan-15 21:51:30

I suspect he will notice and be heartbroken. No child should be expected to understand that someone they view as a parent and a loved one suddenly no longer loves them.

Hope exDP steps up the plate for your sons sake. If he doesn't then he is just reinforcing that your better off apart. And your son will understand in years to come but right not it will just hurt.

biscuit&thanks fingers crossed for you

waithorse Wed 07-Jan-15 22:32:15

How nasty of him. I hope ds has a nice day, despite this. cake

Aeroflotgirl Wed 07-Jan-15 23:55:35

Yes it is shitty, shitty of your ex grandparents not to get him a Christmas present, and bad of the man who has practically brought him up not to bother with him anymore! What happened at Christmas by the way.

PrettyLittleMitty Thu 08-Jan-15 03:42:30

What a prick angry

Hope your ds has great birthday and doesnt even notice.

KoalaDownUnder Thu 08-Jan-15 03:49:01

I was all prepared to say YABU (as I think cards are overpriced bollocks that adults care more about than kids), BUT -

YANBU!! What kind of person doesn't acknowledge the birthday of a child they parented for 9 years?!

He's an arsehole.

KnackeredMerrily Thu 08-Jan-15 04:52:07

Very nasty indeed - yanbu. No wonder if his parents are such fuckers, i remember the ex-in law thread.

Happy birthday to your son cake

KnackeredMerrily Thu 08-Jan-15 04:53:57

Also wanted to say it was good of you to remind your ex about the birthday rather than waiting for him to miss it and get outraged. Shame he doesn't have anywhere near the same thoughtfulness and humanity.

ilovesooty Thu 08-Jan-15 06:28:53

What a shame. Happy birthday to your son.

Aeroflotgirl Thu 08-Jan-15 07:55:21

No wonder he's an ex, nice of him to wash his hands of ds after you split. I am sure ds1 will notice, and will notice when ex gets presents and card and makes a fuss of ds2

Aeroflotgirl Fri 09-Jan-15 20:44:28

Did ex get anything for ds1 or come to see him for his birthday?

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