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To volunteer my neighbours for Jeremy Kyle?

(5 Posts)
BonesyBones Wed 07-Jan-15 03:28:16

Next door neighbour has very recently moved in his girlfriend, she seems polite enough at first, introduced herself and has been very friendly. Not had many previous issues with male neighbour either.

Today (yesterday?) their arguments began at 8am. It is now 3am and they are still going strong! Have heard at least 4 different arguments today including:

Her: Eh, but I didnae steal it fae the social work department though 'cause that wumman geed me it!
Him: Aye but you must o took it though cause social workers dinnae just go handin' out whatever yi fancy
Her: naw I left wi-oot it then the wumman come runnin' down the road and telt me just to take it, so yer a liarrrrr (extreme roll of the "R").
CONCLUSION: he gives in, agrees his girlfriend didn't steal whatever she was accused of stealing... After 2 HOURS!

Then we had
Him: you're just as bad as all they other lassies oot there
-Cue girlfriend shouting out of the window at random passers by about whether they'd ever known her to hit anyone, and him replying loudly each time "I never even said you did you daft cow".

Then there was something about her offering him rent and him refusing it, then her saying she'll pay for half the food, him huffing because that's his food, and her continuing to argue that she "won't even eat that much food anyway".
This one resulted in him sitting on our doorstep telling my OH that he "really really hates her".

And now I think they're arguing about someone giving her a free watch, he seems to have given up and has resorted to awarding points for sparky remarks made by her. The current standing seems to be 6 points to her, not sure about him though.

For the record I don't actually want to know what they're arguing about but the walls are paper thin, and my bedroom attaches to theirs. I just want to go to sleep!

Aibu to call Jeremy Kyle in and let him sort this out so I can go to sleep?! grin

my2centsis Wed 07-Jan-15 03:55:59

Oh geez op you poor thing. Could you stuck a letter in their letterbox stating that Jeremy Kyle is only on at noon therefore their domestics must only occurs at this time. And make sure to have your wine and cake ready at this time. Could be a giggle!

(Not helpful sorry)

BonesyBones Wed 07-Jan-15 04:06:02

Still going, no closer to a solution on the watch situation, and he has turned his TV up to some incredible volume (to drown her out no doubt) some horror film I think, judging by the screaming, just what I need nightmare prone DS to wake up to!
It was slightly amusing this morning but now it's driving me mad! Will need to break out the wine tomorrow if this goes on much longer!

WinnieTheBitch Wed 07-Jan-15 04:23:26

Can you bang on their walls when they start again?! Hopefully you get some sleep ASAP!

BonesyBones Wed 07-Jan-15 04:48:48

Seems to have quietened down a little, I had considered banging on the wall but he seems like the type who would bang back, and go down the "you did it first" route! They're still arguing but at least they're not shouting anymore. Luckily we're moving out at the end of the month, so shouldn't have to put up with this for too long!

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