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to think there's an acceptable way to give birth?

(11 Posts)
SuperNovaCat Tue 06-Jan-15 22:39:40

One of my parent's neighbours/family friend is an NCU nurse.

When my sister had an elective section (first baby was natural delivery but the prospect of doing it again terrified her so much the consultant agreed to a section) she was unaware of this neighbour posting on facebook about what a 'shame' it was that people would happily put their babies at risk through this procedure. She was definitely talking about my sister and when I replied citing it was personal choice and the Doctors involved were happy, neighbour was very abusive. I didn't rise to it, deleted the lady from FB and just nod to her and smile when I see her in the street (also is my neighbour as I live close by).
Then our other neighbour decided to have a home birth with her second and put this on a FB status. The nurse posted on this status 'advising' against such a birth and said it was a massive risk to the child.

I have never heard this lady express such opinions in Real Life, though I am sure she probably does. But in all honesty it shocked me that she could suppose her 'advice' is far more important than HP's who are dealing with these pregnant women. She is not the only one, I often hear 'judgement' passed over someone else's birthing choices.

AIBU to think that some people have a very narrow view of what is an 'acceptable' way to give birth?

Is no pain relief, vaginal birth in a hospital setting the only sure fire way to avoid criticism?

DandyHighwayman Tue 06-Jan-15 22:48:22

I would be inclined to screenshot the nurses posts and send to her boss or the NHS Trust Chief Exec.

Mrsjayy Tue 06-Jan-15 22:50:40

This woman sounds a loon and a scaremongerer tbh and best ignored as long as a baby gets out it really is nobody elses bussiness how or where it happens

yetanotherchangename Tue 06-Jan-15 22:52:33

She sounds like a nutter of a midwife who made my second pregnancy yell. Agree with dandyhighwayman - this woman is being completely unprofessional. And c sections are generally considered safer or as safe for the baby.

GothMummy Tue 06-Jan-15 22:54:37

Ignore this person and dont let her comments worry you.

CocktailQueen Tue 06-Jan-15 22:54:53

Agree with Dandy - I'd screenshot her posts and report her. She's going above and beyond her duty here and is being actively damaging. That's not her job!

Topseyt Tue 06-Jan-15 22:56:10

An acceptable way to give birth is any method necessary to ensure a healthy baby and mother at the end of it. Some people do forget that and talk a whole lot of bollocks.

There is no way to avoid criticism or comment either. Everyone offers opinions, or so it can seem.

I had two vaginal births and one emergency caesarean. I look back on them all and think that the caesarean was the best of the lot. If I could have my time again I would have all three by caesarean. On the occasions I have said that sort of thing I have had mixed reactions - a few raised eyebrows and incredulous looks, and some people who agree with me.

Bluetonic123 Tue 06-Jan-15 22:57:01

I haven't had a child and even I've noticed people making snide commentsbecause women want a different birth to what they feel is acceptable. I think I'd want a general anesthetic.

SuperNovaCat Tue 06-Jan-15 23:04:54

To be honest what she had to say amused me, but I know my sister was quite upset by it at the time.

I feel like there is this general consensus -especially toward elective sections- that birth should be grueling and difficult for the woman. I've never understood why? When I have a tooth out -very minor to giving birth- I insist on a local, why do we expect women to cope with pain when they don't really have to?

I have had two c-sections though so I am clearly a massive wuss grin

ILovePud Tue 06-Jan-15 23:05:27

It's really sad how people make so many judgments about women's birth choices. There's another thread going about a woman who is getting criticised for choosing to have a home birth, you can't win - people should keep their noses out, it's got nothing to do with anyone else. I do find it ironic that some people who are highly vocal in saying how they're in favour of women having choice around birth also seem to be highly critical of women who make a choice they don't approve of.

hiddenhome Tue 06-Jan-15 23:31:58

I think that some people view giving birth as a rite of passage and anybody who seeks to dodge it is viewed as a lesser being.

It's a stupid view because as long as both mother and child are healthy at the end of whatever process, who cares how it happens? It's also a very private thing and people should not pass judgement.

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