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To get a different engagement ring?

(45 Posts)
RibenaBabe Tue 06-Jan-15 15:25:25

So last weekend DP and I with 8m DS in tow, went shopping and one of the things we do is look in all the windows of the jewellery shops pointing out what we like (which isn't usually a lot as we are picky). Anyway we saw a ring on sale (£900 down from £1500) and DP said try it on. We never actually go in but I thought why not!

So asked DP which finger I should put it on and he said whichever u like, so I tried it on my ring finger. We both still liked it so I asked the sales lady to give us a min as DP wasn't getting the hint and asked him outright if this was an engagement ring. (DP has always said I would have to put the ring on his finger, which I took to mean asking him). So we're engaged! grin

While I like the ring a lot I didn't realise that the ring was an eternity ring AIBU to want this ring as a ring to celebrate DS birth and to get another ring as an engagement ring that is more bling especially as we need to buy a bigger family car?

We have to go back next week to pick up the ring in my size, AIBU to look at our rings particularly the £11 grand one I like but is way over our budget?

Hatespiders Tue 06-Jan-15 15:36:08

Congratulations on your engagement. As £900 has already been spent, and you do like it, I think it would be unreasonable to now decide it isn't what you want for an engagement ring and spend yet more money on a second one.
I should imagine your fiance would be rather annoyed, especially as he seemed to me to be a bit reluctant to become engaged. Had he actually proposed?
I should treasure the ring you've got and be happy.

cosmos239 Tue 06-Jan-15 15:39:25

A 900 pound ring to celebrate d's birth, wow. unless you can easily afford a second one and the one you've bought is not an engagement type ring style then I think you are being ungrateful and yes unreasonable. Is this a reverse?

flowery Tue 06-Jan-15 15:41:23


You like the ring, but you want another one as well, "especially as we need to buy a larger family car"?

Why does a need to buy another car mean it's even more important you get another ring? confused Surely that means there are more important financial priorities?

magpieginglebells Tue 06-Jan-15 15:41:58

Can you afford another ring? £900 is a huge amount for most,

Newlywed2013 Tue 06-Jan-15 15:43:06

I think YABVU, a ring is what you make it! that ring determined an engagement between you and your OH so therefore it is an engagement ring! Why try is on your ring finger if you dont like it as an engagement ring!!

LineRunner Tue 06-Jan-15 15:47:06

Yes, why not. Eleven grand on another engagement ring. No brainer really. Get that and a new bigger car on a loan. In fact trade up the £900 ring as well. And run off with the jeweller.

DuchessDisaster Tue 06-Jan-15 15:48:57

Engagements do not HAVE to be solitaire diamonds, you know.

WipsGlitter Tue 06-Jan-15 15:49:49

Can you afford another one?

TerrorAustralis Tue 06-Jan-15 15:51:21

You only realised it was an eternity ring after you liked it and chose it as your engagement ring? YABU

Eternity, engagement, right hand, all those labels are just labels made up by diamond sellers to sell you an idea and part you with your money. Honestly, the ring matters little.

If I had my time over I would have asked for an antique ring with a lovely design at about a quarter of the price that my engagement ring cost (ring came after proposal).

FelicityGubbins Tue 06-Jan-15 15:51:32

<gazes lovingly at 20 year old £49.99 Elizabeth Duke engagement ring>
YABU £900 is a stupid amount to spend on any ring, to spend that and then not be satisfied is pretty obnoxious...

BestZebbie Tue 06-Jan-15 15:52:25

I have an eternity ring (eg: two types of little stones alternating in a row, not one big solitaire) as my engagement ring and it works perfectly well :D No-one has ever commented or been confused by it and thought it wasn't an engagement ring on my ring finger, as far as I am aware.

Wrt getting a ring to commemorate giving birth - several years later and I am now vaugely considering eventually getting a solitaire version of DS birthstone as a third ring for that purpose, I don't think any harm would come by doing those ring designs 'in the wrong order'.

TerrorAustralis Tue 06-Jan-15 15:53:20

Engagements do not HAVE to be solitaire diamonds, you know.

^^ YY If you're thinking of a white gold solitaire, you'll be just like 90% of women who got married in the past 10 years. Stand out from the crowd.

nilbyname Tue 06-Jan-15 15:54:40

Sorry, I don't get it.

You can't get the ring as you need a new car?

You want two rings?

You have one ring but want an upgrade?

nocutsnobuttsnococonuts Tue 06-Jan-15 15:55:03

why didnt u realise it wasn't an engagement ring at the time? if u needed it pointing it out surely it wouldn't be noticeable to most other people.

I think its completely unnecessary to spend more on another ring, why not have a nice family holiday or invest in a better car? or if u really want another ring does it have to cost so much?? my engagement ring was around £15.. I saw receipt when I had to exchange for a smaller size!

RibenaBabe Tue 06-Jan-15 15:59:25

Ok ok IABU, the £11 grand one was in jest really I know that's far too much money and I would worry about it all the time.

The car thing is because we both have a small 3 door car and we need a 5 door with DS.

It was just after I got back I thought it might be an eternity ring, thought there was a meaning behind it and googled it, and it's for 1st born or 10year anniversary. But yes I really like it. Thanks for the comments.

RibenaBabe Tue 06-Jan-15 16:04:42

Thanks for the comments about it not having to be a single solitaire, I think that's partly what was bothering me. Looking forward to picking in up at the weekend grin

Definitely BVU!! You chose the ring and decided,there and then, that you wanted it as an engagement ring. You can't decide to have it as something else because convention says so and then expect your poor OH to buy another ring as an engagement ring!

That's bad.

Enjoy the ring you have smile (and chose)

MindReader Tue 06-Jan-15 16:12:59

You have a ring you like.
You are now engaged to the man you want.
You have a young baby to cherish.
What's not to like? grin

ENJOY it.x

ophiotaurus Tue 06-Jan-15 16:28:36

My engagement ring has three stones in it as I don't like solitaires.
So if you like the ring and the only thing making you want to change it is the fact it isn't a solitaire then yabu.
But if you don't like the actual ring then that's different. £900 is a lot of money to waste on something you don't 100% love.

Johnogroats Tue 06-Jan-15 16:34:23

My engagement ring has 3 stones...been married 13 years and 2 DCs. No eternity ring yet... I think my DH is Being Very U. As are you OP!

AnnoyingOrange Tue 06-Jan-15 16:37:13

Engagement rings come in lots of different forms.
I have a three stone ring, a sapphire and two diamonds

waithorse Tue 06-Jan-15 16:37:34

Sounds perfect. thanks

googoodolly Tue 06-Jan-15 16:41:29

I got engaged last year and my ring is a half eternity. I don't like bulky stones because I'm clumsy and get them caught on everything, plus I can't wear bulky jewellery to work and I don't want to have to take it off everyday and risk losing it.

I love my ring and that's what matters - Congratulations!

ToffeeCaramel Tue 06-Jan-15 16:51:11

I wasn't clear from your post, did your dp say that he did want to get married when you asked which finger to put it on? Or did he say he wanted it to be an eternity ring?

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