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I know IABU and petty and its fb related but I need to vent

(34 Posts)
sliceofsoup Mon 05-Jan-15 22:05:50

I have a friend on facebook. We were very good friends before I had my first child and then she dropped me like a stone. Shes had a child since and got back in touch suggesting meet ups etc but we never got round to it.

Anyway, its a weekly occurrence that she will ask me to like a page of a new business that her friends or family are starting, not always a new page, just the same pages over and over with the occasional new one. At the start I would like them all but then DH and I were starting a business and she showed no support whatsoever for it so I stopped liking any of hers. Petty yes. I know.

Also, so as not to drip feed, she completely ignored the invitation to our wedding.

But now she is starting her own business and not only requested that I liked the page, but also messaged me about 10 minutes after the request came through to ask why I hadn't liked it already. Then proceeded to rant through messages for about an hour about how stressful it all was and asking my advice (I have experience in the field.)

I honestly felt like telling her to fuck off and say that I would have been willing to support her, even in a hands on unpaid fashion until she was up and running, if she had shown even a tiny bit of interest in our business, or in me, for that matter. She can support every other person in the worlds new business, except mine!! But I didn't. I congratulated her and sympathised with her like a plank, and now I am kicking myself for it.

I want to unfriend her and be done with it but she WILL notice and she WILL message me to ask whats wrong. So I still have her on my friends list and I am quietly seething every time a new request comes through.

Someone had me a grip. Please.

Zamboni Mon 05-Jan-15 22:07:30

Can you unfriend and block her so she can't message you?

DamnBamboo Mon 05-Jan-15 22:07:58

Just unfollow her, or block her. She won't know you've done it and you don't have to engage with her.
But honestly, she doesn't sound like an awful person, it sounds as though there are a mismatch of expectations from the friendship, hence why you're cross.
Here is your grip by the way. smile

bluecheque4595 Mon 05-Jan-15 22:08:44

i would just say you should unfriend. Friendship is a two way street.

Dh had this with an old work colleague who moved quite nearby. She dropped him as a friend like a stone. Yet still somehow found it in the goodness of her heart to ask him to write her a work reference for a new job. Bloody cheek.

ssd Mon 05-Jan-15 22:09:27

no you are spot on, tell her to fuck right off, she's a user

delete her from your friends list

can you tell I hate effin facebook

newyearsresolutionsnotforme Mon 05-Jan-15 22:09:31

Unfriend and block her. She sounds too stressful and PITA.

LineRunner Mon 05-Jan-15 22:10:27

You sent her a wedding invitation and she completely ignored it?

mytartanscarf Mon 05-Jan-15 22:12:37

FB businesses are the bane of my life. She sounds so rude!

CatsClaus Mon 05-Jan-15 22:12:43

put her in a little group of her own and exclude her from being able to message you or see anything but your public posts.

it's more satisfying than blocking. :D

if she works out what you have done she may defriend you, but hey...that's up to her.

nilbyname Mon 05-Jan-15 22:13:19

Block her, you don't owe her a thing!

sliceofsoup Mon 05-Jan-15 22:13:33

No she is actually a lovely person. Hence why we were friends and why I understood her dropping me and then picking me up again when we both had kids. I don't think she did that out of malice, more like it just wasn't the same anymore.

But I can't understand how anyone with an ounce of self awareness couldn't see how userish they are being.

I don't mind facebook and usually laugh at the madness of it all, but this just feels personal and its got to me.

Thanks for the grip. grin

Aeroflotgirl Mon 05-Jan-15 22:14:40

She is a user, she's not a friend. Unfriended and block.

RandomNPC Mon 05-Jan-15 22:14:45

She sounds like a nightmare. If you block her, she couldn't message you then.

RandomNPC Mon 05-Jan-15 22:15:35

Lovely? How exactly? Ignoring your wedding invite?

ssd Mon 05-Jan-15 22:16:05

I thought that too confused

Nanny0gg Mon 05-Jan-15 22:17:16

No she is actually a lovely person

Not from what you shown on here.

sliceofsoup Mon 05-Jan-15 22:17:57

Yep, it was just to the evening, and I would have understood if she couldn't come due to childcare (though I think shes sorted in that area going by her facebook) or if she just didn't want to. I invited her partner who I have never met too. But nope. Nada.

She liked all the pics on facebook and was messaging in the run up about how the planning was going, with not a mention of the invite. I sent out 30 odd invites on the same day and not one didn't arrive so I don't think it got lost in the post!

sliceofsoup Mon 05-Jan-15 22:19:09

Well she was lovely. When we were friends. The last person I would have thought I would have this thread about.

balancingfigure Mon 05-Jan-15 22:19:27

Is there any possibility at all that she missed your new business and didn't get invite? I'm only asking because you say she's a lovely person!

AtrociousCircumstance Mon 05-Jan-15 22:21:23

You like to think she's lovely because it explains your attachment.

But all the things you've written here show that you don't like her and she adds nothing to your life.

If you don't want to drop her and illicit an immediate demand to know why from her, do the slow fizzle.

She sounds annoying.

Eustasiavye Mon 05-Jan-15 22:21:37

Get rid of her. Ignore all messages and requests from her.

RudeBarbandCustard Mon 05-Jan-15 22:22:24

Time for a New Year's FB friend cull.

I did this yesterday when I realised that I had a girl on my friends list who I never particularly liked in school, and I haven't seen for 20 years. Deleted.

VioletandRoger Mon 05-Jan-15 22:22:51

Did you ask her if she had received your invite?

sliceofsoup Mon 05-Jan-15 22:24:04

Our business was all over facebook in the early days and I really doubt she missed it.

Also some of the businesses are facebook based ones, but ours wasn't (we wrapped it up before xmas as DH got a job paying better money) and hers is going to be an physical business with premises.

I can understand weariness with the selling based businesses though.

VioletandRoger Mon 05-Jan-15 22:25:58

Alternatively use FB a bit less when her requests come through. If she rants say 'v busy week. No time to breathe even'

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