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Booked time off without DH knowing.

(74 Posts)
PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange Mon 05-Jan-15 20:46:18

So I have this week off from work, but not told anyone apart from MIL as she takes the DC to school.

I want a few days to myself. So today I have done the house from top to bottom and done everything so I don't have nothing to do apart from school run.

Should I have told DH I have time off work.

Goingintohibernation Mon 05-Jan-15 20:48:18

YABVU. Why on earth can't you just say to your DH, you want a few days to yourself? I would be livid if DH lied to me like that.

AnyFucker Mon 05-Jan-15 20:49:12

yes

lying is not an attractive trait

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange Mon 05-Jan-15 20:50:02

Because he can change his shift pattern and would want to do things like touch up on the decorating or diy ect.

magpieginglebells Mon 05-Jan-15 20:50:03

How odd? Why not just tell the truth?

VanitasVanitatum Mon 05-Jan-15 20:50:54

It sounds like you feel like your dh wouldn't support you wanting a few days to yourself? Is that why you felt you had to lie?

esiotrot2015 Mon 05-Jan-15 20:51:15

My dh does this

Drives me mad because in the long six week summer break he claims to have no leave left��

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange Mon 05-Jan-15 20:53:11

Already booked and arranged childcare for 6 weeks hoilday and every other school holidays.

It's only surplus AL

KillmeNow Mon 05-Jan-15 20:55:17

I have done this for the odd day. Its a wonderful feeling that the day is yours to do with as you please. I dont tell anyone because otherwise they would find things for me to do -places to go and people to see kind of things. I want to do my own things thank you.

Im not sure I could keep it up for a whole week though and would worry that my annual leave would not be enough for the rest of the year but, if you have the time to spare, use it and enjoy.

RatherEmbarassed Mon 05-Jan-15 20:55:42

Yes YABU, unless there is some good reason why you couldn't tell him? Surely in any healthy relationship 'darling, I'm having a few days off work for myself as I have surplus leave' wouldn't cause a problem? What the hell would you say when he asks how your day was etc? surely you would have to lie? I'm baffled why you would do this

magpieginglebells Mon 05-Jan-15 20:58:31

It's really deceitful. Just tell him the truth, that you want time to yourself.

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange Mon 05-Jan-15 20:59:52

We never discuss work when home, we leave it at the door.

I think I will come clean tomorrow, on specific instructions I don't want anyone in the house at all.

I have serveral new books and the box set of downton Abby.

DH wouldn't care but I know he would change his shift to be with me and then want to do jobs in the house.

RatherEmbarassed Mon 05-Jan-15 21:02:51

Strikes me as a little weird to not ever discuss your work with your partner, but each to their own and all that. Re him changing his shifts etc, surely he if respected you and vice versa you should be able to explain why you want to time to yourself and he shouldn't push it?

StrawberryMouse Mon 05-Jan-15 21:03:57

I do this sometimes. It's the only way I ever get to do things completely by myself like go to the hairdressers or buy bras or have a smear test without a small child hanging off me. My dh works for himself and works as it suits him so always gets to nip here and there but I hardly ever get to do anything alone. If he knows I am off he will get me running errands or waiting for parcels or something else that will "just take five mins".

It's your leave op, just don't get caught because it does look a bit suspicious which has crossed my mind a few times. grin

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange Mon 05-Jan-15 21:05:12

I would never discuss work due to working for the nhs. There is nothing to discuss unless it's a pay rise < ha ha>

Gileswithachainsaw Mon 05-Jan-15 21:05:31

Yanbu.

enjoy your day off grin

GretnaGreen Mon 05-Jan-15 21:06:55

As long as you're not ruining any prospect of a holiday with him, I can't really see why this matters. It's not a "lie" unless you've told him you're working when you aren't. It's leave that has to be used up. Seems OK to me.

waithorse Mon 05-Jan-15 21:07:39

The odd day seems fine, but to book an entire week off without telling anyone does appear strange.

Bisgetti Mon 05-Jan-15 21:09:09

I booked annual leave and don't tell anyone especially my mum, sisters and neighbours because they would find me things to help them with and sometimes I just want to be alone to clean and organise or watch netflix.

I often tell DH after I've booked the leave if he is around during the day, but it wouldn't bother him if I didn't and he wouldn't think anything of it and vice versa.

googoodolly Mon 05-Jan-15 21:09:24

I find it weird that you wouldn't tell him, tbh. When I have time off and DP doesn't, I tell him purely to mock him when he has to go to work and I get to lie in bed grin

I would be annoyed if he took time off without even telling me though. Not that I would book time off to spite him or anything, but because it's something you tell your partner, surely?

NeedABumChange Mon 05-Jan-15 21:09:38

It's odd that you haven't just been honest with him confused

APotNoodleandaTommy Mon 05-Jan-15 21:10:08

YABVVU
How horrible sad

Mynewnamenotyours Mon 05-Jan-15 21:12:08

Sorry but I'd feel deceived if DH did this and I would never do it either.

Surely you can just talk honestly and say you want a couple of days of me time.

And did I see right that you've told mil but not DH? So effectively you're expecting her to lie for you too??

There is such a thing as lying by omission and this is definitely it. Deceitful I think and I would not do it or like it done to me. Just be honest.

Musicaltheatremum Mon 05-Jan-15 21:13:52

Lol, one of my colleagues does this. He tells his wife he is going to work and comes in then changes and goes fishing. He does it because if she finds out he is off then she organises all sorts of things for him to do and he just wants some "me time" he loves fishing and some places have to be booked ages in advance so he can't cancel.
They do lots of things together and go away. (Grown up daughter) She does know he does it and has been caught out but she is fine about it. I don't think there is anything wrong with it.
Oh and downton is brilliant.

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange Mon 05-Jan-15 21:14:38

How do I go about getting a few days to myself.

I don't want to say to him that I have time off but don't wa you here. It seems like rejection

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