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AIBU to think a big group of friends is a big hassle?

(5 Posts)
PoppySausage Mon 05-Jan-15 17:21:05

It just seems that there is always some drama, someone has annoyed someone else, or someone has left someone else out.

I despair. This isn't what I am like and I blooming hate it. Does anyone else have constant ups and downs if you are in a group of friends? (We are a close group of 6)

middlings Mon 05-Jan-15 17:29:46

I have a close group of friends bigger than that and I have to say, I've been really surprised that in the three years we've been friends, that hasn't been the case at all! So I don't think it has to be.

We have a "Culture" amongst our group of not getting upset over small things - and where there are grievances, we're quite good at airing them and moving past them.

Agree that's not necessarily the norm though certainly have had groups where it hasn't been!

PoppySausage Mon 05-Jan-15 17:35:51

That's the problem with ours I think, we don't have that culture and we frequently have long drawn out issues and some friends expecting more of others than they can realistically give.

I don't like it, I just want a nice group of friends who don't fall out every 5 minutes. Stresses me out.

HolyTerror Mon 05-Jan-15 17:41:20

Well, if you have what I have, which is friends scattered around the world in ones and twos rather than a cohesive local group, keeping in contact with everyone (and I don't mean FB) can also be time-consuming. But reading your post makes me realise the advantage of having friends in Brazil who don't know your other friends in Paris.

It sounds soul-destroying - can this group really be that 'close' if everyone is continually falling out? How old are you all? How do the arguers have time for all this?

PoppySausage Mon 05-Jan-15 17:48:08

I also have scattered friends which is why I am suffering as I can't help compare how much easier it is to travel and see them than argue 24/7!

We are mid to late 30s and I just think they like the drama. It all seems to be about expectations, putting the effort in, endless coffees, play dates and nights out and who has or hasn't made the effort, said the right thing.

I don't know how they have the time. I really don't and am an introvert who really thought this would be a good step to take, having a group of local friends. I love them all individually but the dynamic is exhausting

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