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To think males are more forgiving.

(15 Posts)
DrMorbius Mon 05-Jan-15 13:48:33

Obviously slightly tongue in cheek title. But I have only viewed the MN site for a couple of months, and I think I have noticed a definite trend. If a woman is unfaithful, her male partner is far more likely to want to forgive than vice-versa. Almost every relationship thread with a wondering female, her partners wants to forgive.

LaurieFairyCake Mon 05-Jan-15 13:52:17

That's because there's only ever been 3 men who've posted

Versus hundreds of women who get fucked around on

DropYourSword Mon 05-Jan-15 13:54:58

Maybe it's to do with the motivations to cheat?

AMumInScotland Mon 05-Jan-15 14:06:49

Male partners are extremely unlikely to post on MN to say that their partner has been unfaithful and they are ending the relationship. I mean, why would they bother to come on and post that?

A few come on to post "Please give me a female perspective on this so that we can work on it", but that's a rarity. It doesn't mean the others have forgiven. More that men are less likely than women to seek validation of their point of view from relative strangers, and have simply dealt with the relationship in whatever way they feel they have to without discussing it on a forum.

Greysanderson Mon 05-Jan-15 14:10:37

Go on a site with more male relationship problems, just as many men are not interested in forgiving.

MN is not the place to compare relationship problems for men and women. Makes me chuckle when I see threads like "why do so many men cheat" firstly who are they cheating with and of course your only going to see women complaining this is a site with mainly women on it.

HowCanIMissYouIfYouWontGoAway Mon 05-Jan-15 14:14:32

Well, I'm not sure it's possible to reach any meaningful conclusion on a site where men are outnumbered by women to such a massive degree.

there are hundreds and HUNDREDS of threads where women are still with men who've cheated on them (and often more than once!)

I've been here since 2005 and I've read more where women have stayed than where they've left.

I've read maybe a dozen threads started by men about their unfaithful partner. Mostly they go the same way as those started by women. Shock, disbelief, hurt, anger, where to from here...

FunkyBoldRibena Mon 05-Jan-15 14:18:25

If a woman is unfaithful, her male partner is far more likely to want to forgive than vice-versa.

Really? Have you actually logged your research [or are you just on a wind up?]. Could you post your links please. Ta.

DrMorbius Mon 05-Jan-15 14:59:14

FunkyBoldRibena - Clearly my view was purely a limited observation, based entirely on empirical evidence (I did clearly state "Obviously slightly tongue in cheek title").

While I understand the shear volume of women to men posts, or rather should I say lack of male posts. However I thought I detected a "trend", hence the reason for asking the question.

In fairness; if you look at 99.9% of other peoples posts, they do not cite references for opinions or assertions. BTW - I only guessed at 99.9%, but if pressed I will count them up and cite my source.

FunkyBoldRibena Mon 05-Jan-15 15:03:57

I will count them up and cite my source.

How will you be choosing which sources to use? As from my research many many women cite their men have been unfaithful and have been forgiven.

Do you think this is a subject to be 'slightly tongue in cheek' about when it destroys people lives? Why do you find it so amusing?

DrMorbius Mon 05-Jan-15 15:19:59

I will use the same screening principle and same sample size that you have obviously used in your research that allows you to assert "As from my research many many women cite their men have been unfaithful and have been forgiven"

Actually while not wishing to be pedantic, but I said ""Obviously slightly tongue in cheek title".

Clearly you can deconstruct my words and reconstruct them to be grossly offensive. But that doesn't mean I said them. Of course destroying peoples lives is not amusing, but that was not my question or a subject area I wished to visit.

Thank you for taking the time to answer my post.

Bulbasaur Mon 05-Jan-15 15:32:20

I know women who decide to forgive their partners, and I know men that have. Mostly though, I see people ending the relationship then and there, and hating each other the rest of their lives.

KeemaNaanAndCurryOn Mon 05-Jan-15 15:40:12

Jeez DrMoribus. You may need to pull your knickers out of your crack and calm the heck down.

Really not sure where the tongue in cheek comes in. Your post could just as easily be "Slightly tongue in cheek, but I've been on here for a couple of months and there's a definite trend for more women to like bacon butties than men liking bacon butties", ignoring the fact that the site is mostly populated by women.

You've been on here a couple of months. I've been on here several years.
Not noticed any trend really and there's been many, many threads where women have decided to work through their DH's cheating on them.

Birdsgottafly Mon 05-Jan-15 15:54:00

Funnily enough I've just had a conversation along these lines in a mixed group in a pub.

The males were joking about keeping quiet over cheating that has gone on, in their group, even though it was one of their Sisters that had been cheated on, as though it's expected/allowed.

I've heard this before, of course, on Stag do's/All male trips etc.

What always gets me, is the same people are usually big judgers of female sexual behaviour and love to bandy the words "slut/slag" about.

Women are still judged much more harshly (and often completely) on their sexual behaviour.

Even by their Partners, who use the everyday sexism to their advantage.

Women forgive and overlook a lot more than men, on average, within relationships.

Tobyjugg Mon 05-Jan-15 16:58:25

Going by "real life" - by which I mean those couples I know of where one partner or another has cheated, I would say it's pretty much an even split. Some husbands forgive, others pack her stuff and chuck it on the front lawn. Same for wives. If there's a bias on MN then I agree it's most probably down to the fact that there are many more women than men posting on here.

Tobyjugg Mon 05-Jan-15 17:01:41

more women than men like bacon butties

Now there's an interesting topic for discussion!

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