Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

1 2

AIBU?

to think "I've worked for 30 years" isn't impressive at all

45 replies

haveatarday · 05/01/2015 11:12

Mil often relies this when I'm talking talking about my life. I kind of want to reply, wow weren't you lucky!

I've worked since I was 16 so at 36 I've done 20 years and fully expect to be working for 50-60 years.

My mum has worked for 46 years and still works 3 days a week.

Aibu to reply with a put down?

How long have you worked, expect to work and how old are you now?

OP posts:

Report

waitingfor3 · 05/01/2015 11:19

Why do you need to put her down? She is allowed to be proud of her working life, especially as staying at home with children is treated with such contempt in the UK.
Perhaps nudging that her time with her children was damned inportant too?

MissBattleaxe · 05/01/2015 11:21

Agree with waitingfor3.

Pyjamaramadrama · 05/01/2015 11:23

Sorry I agree she's allowed to be proud of the years that she worked.

OrangeVanofPositivity · 05/01/2015 11:23

What are you saying about your life when she says it? If you are talking about problems in your life and she tries to trump it by saying how she worked for ever so long, then YANBU, but if you are somehow making her feel bad for having retired then YABU.

I am 35 and have worked for about 8 years I'd guess, with university and other education and having been a SAHM for 5 years. I'm now retraining and will be back at work by the time I'm 40, so I should think I'll have another 25 or so years working, but I'm sure I'll be retiring as soon as is financially viable. So probably not a great deal more than 30 years in total.

JeanSeberg · 05/01/2015 11:24

Should your title read "I've not worked for 30 years"? Your post doesn't make sense otherwise.

IamTitanium · 05/01/2015 11:26

Yes you would be unreasonable- but I cant stand this one one-upmanship in life.
The next generation and the one after that are very likely to be working more years than you, does that make your working life not impressive?
I have worked 14 years, I feel I would like to retire now, I am hoping another 10 years tops as an employee and after than to be self employed part time hours.

OrangeVanofPositivity · 05/01/2015 11:26

Realised your AIBU question was about replying with a put down. I think whatever the reason behind her saying it, YABU to put her down.

Skatingfastonthinice · 05/01/2015 11:28

Exactly, why do you need to compete with her and put her down?
Rather like being snappy about how hard or challenging a job is. My MIL used to compare her job in a local shop with teaching and think that it was so much harder because she didn't knock off at 3pm and have looong holidays.
I smiled and drank tea instead of getting stroppy.
Perhaps you should stick to neutral topics, it worked for us.

ShatnersBassoon · 05/01/2015 11:28

It's certainly an achievement, why shouldn't she be proud? She's happy with the choices she made, good for her.

RufusTheReindeer · 05/01/2015 11:29

I start work at 18

Stopped work at 29

From then on it depends what you consider work to be at the moment I work 4.5 hours a week as a lunchtime supervisor and do a few hours invigilating in exam season

In that case I have probably worked for another 9 years so far (45)

I might make 30 years on that basis

But that will pale in comparison to those of my friends and husband who work full time and will have done so since they were 18 til 67 or whatever the current retirement age is

RufusTheReindeer · 05/01/2015 11:30

Obviously I also worked in the house for 9 years until my youngest went to school

MarshaBrady · 05/01/2015 11:30

There's nothing wrong with your mil saying that.

Skatingfastonthinice · 05/01/2015 11:32

I've been a teacher for 30 years, I'm amazed I'm still around TBH.
5 years until I can retire. Probably will keep doing a couple of days each week to top up my gin fund.

Waitingonasunnyday · 05/01/2015 11:33

OMG just worked out I have worked for 19.5 years, no wonder I feel so bloody tired. I suspect I will work until around 70. [weep]

pointythings · 05/01/2015 11:33

Why shouldn't your MIL be proud? She's probably of the generation where it wasn't the norm for married women to WOHM after all.

If I ever get to retire before I drop dead, I'll have worked (on current rules) for 39 years - I don't ever intend to use that as a put-down or as anything else though.

brokenhearted55a · 05/01/2015 11:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

haveatarday · 05/01/2015 11:36

Sorry was brief in my op. Its in response when I talk about all the work I have to do at home after work and how I have to re apply for my job and have appraisals ever 6 months.

She could just say, "that sucks, I understand that's difficult' but she doesn't she just says that as if to say I did it for longer than you. When working conditions are very different in my job compared to hers.

OP posts:

Waitingonasunnyday · 05/01/2015 11:36

I think it would be annoying if MIL is retired with a mortgage free home, caravan, & is oh-so-busy playing bridge, whilst OP scrabbles round for bus fare and MIL crows about her free bus pass 'well I've worked for 30 years doncha know'...

Skatingfastonthinice · 05/01/2015 11:38

So don't discuss work with her, it can be very tedious for other people if you bang on about boring things. Surely you could find something else to have conversations about?

LineRunner · 05/01/2015 11:39

Don't understand.

haveatarday · 05/01/2015 11:39

Its always her that asks how my job is going and comments on all the work on the dining table.

OP posts:

radiobedhead · 05/01/2015 11:41

Op YANBU. My DM says similar to justify her big house, expensive car, loads of money and retiring at an obscenely young age. She worked hard but no harder than anyone else IMO. She got lucky, too.

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

ZanyMobster · 05/01/2015 11:42

I don't really understand what is wrong with it unless you are having a dig at SAHMs?

My mum worked full time for about 15 years once me and my DB were at senior school, has worked part time for the last 5 years or so and worked part time for about 8 years once me and my brother started school. She also worked full time for 8 years before we were born. That doesn't really even equate to 30 years even though she is 59 now.

I cannot see how that is 'worse' than someone who has worked full time for 40 years by her age, just different.

I am 35, I worked full time for 7 years, had 5 years off with the DCs and have now worked part time for the last 5 years, I never intend to work full time again (professional stressful job) and hope to retire at 55/60 at the latest as DH is 13 years older than me. I would be furious if anyone felt it necessary to put me down as I do and have always worked hard at whatever I have done regardless of whether I am paid for it.

LineRunner · 05/01/2015 11:42

Ah, so it's like she is trying to win a non-existent competition or justify something?

AnnoyingOrange · 05/01/2015 11:45

Thirty years is quite an achievement. Enough for a full pension before the rules change to 35

Flip

1 2

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.