Talk

Advanced search

to think "I've worked for 30 years" isn't impressive at all

(46 Posts)
haveatarday Mon 05-Jan-15 11:12:23

Mil often relies this when I'm talking talking about my life. I kind of want to reply, wow weren't you lucky!

I've worked since I was 16 so at 36 I've done 20 years and fully expect to be working for 50-60 years.

My mum has worked for 46 years and still works 3 days a week.

Aibu to reply with a put down?

How long have you worked, expect to work and how old are you now?

waitingfor3 Mon 05-Jan-15 11:19:49

Why do you need to put her down? She is allowed to be proud of her working life, especially as staying at home with children is treated with such contempt in the UK.
Perhaps nudging that her time with her children was damned inportant too?

MissBattleaxe Mon 05-Jan-15 11:21:11

Agree with waitingfor3.

Pyjamaramadrama Mon 05-Jan-15 11:23:11

Sorry I agree she's allowed to be proud of the years that she worked.

OrangeVanofPositivity Mon 05-Jan-15 11:23:29

What are you saying about your life when she says it? If you are talking about problems in your life and she tries to trump it by saying how she worked for ever so long, then YANBU, but if you are somehow making her feel bad for having retired then YABU.

I am 35 and have worked for about 8 years I'd guess, with university and other education and having been a SAHM for 5 years. I'm now retraining and will be back at work by the time I'm 40, so I should think I'll have another 25 or so years working, but I'm sure I'll be retiring as soon as is financially viable. So probably not a great deal more than 30 years in total.

JeanSeberg Mon 05-Jan-15 11:24:38

Should your title read "I've not worked for 30 years"? Your post doesn't make sense otherwise.

IamTitanium Mon 05-Jan-15 11:26:15

Yes you would be unreasonable- but I cant stand this one one-upmanship in life.
The next generation and the one after that are very likely to be working more years than you, does that make your working life not impressive?
I have worked 14 years, I feel I would like to retire now, I am hoping another 10 years tops as an employee and after than to be self employed part time hours.

OrangeVanofPositivity Mon 05-Jan-15 11:26:47

Realised your AIBU question was about replying with a put down. I think whatever the reason behind her saying it, YABU to put her down.

Skatingfastonthinice Mon 05-Jan-15 11:28:00

Exactly, why do you need to compete with her and put her down?
Rather like being snappy about how hard or challenging a job is. My MIL used to compare her job in a local shop with teaching and think that it was so much harder because she didn't knock off at 3pm and have looong holidays.
I smiled and drank tea instead of getting stroppy.
Perhaps you should stick to neutral topics, it worked for us.

ShatnersBassoon Mon 05-Jan-15 11:28:07

It's certainly an achievement, why shouldn't she be proud? She's happy with the choices she made, good for her.

RufusTheReindeer Mon 05-Jan-15 11:29:15

I start work at 18

Stopped work at 29

From then on it depends what you consider work to be at the moment I work 4.5 hours a week as a lunchtime supervisor and do a few hours invigilating in exam season

In that case I have probably worked for another 9 years so far (45)

I might make 30 years on that basis

But that will pale in comparison to those of my friends and husband who work full time and will have done so since they were 18 til 67 or whatever the current retirement age is

RufusTheReindeer Mon 05-Jan-15 11:30:08

Obviously I also worked in the house for 9 years until my youngest went to school

MarshaBrady Mon 05-Jan-15 11:30:15

There's nothing wrong with your mil saying that.

Skatingfastonthinice Mon 05-Jan-15 11:32:03

I've been a teacher for 30 years, I'm amazed I'm still around TBH. smile
5 years until I can retire. Probably will keep doing a couple of days each week to top up my gin fund.

Waitingonasunnyday Mon 05-Jan-15 11:33:05

OMG just worked out I have worked for 19.5 years, no wonder I feel so bloody tired. I suspect I will work until around 70. [weep]

pointythings Mon 05-Jan-15 11:33:22

Why shouldn't your MIL be proud? She's probably of the generation where it wasn't the norm for married women to WOHM after all.

If I ever get to retire before I drop dead, I'll have worked (on current rules) for 39 years - I don't ever intend to use that as a put-down or as anything else though.

brokenhearted55a Mon 05-Jan-15 11:34:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

haveatarday Mon 05-Jan-15 11:36:42

Sorry was brief in my op. Its in response when I talk about all the work I have to do at home after work and how I have to re apply for my job and have appraisals ever 6 months.

She could just say, "that sucks, I understand that's difficult' but she doesn't she just says that as if to say I did it for longer than you. When working conditions are very different in my job compared to hers.

Waitingonasunnyday Mon 05-Jan-15 11:36:51

I think it would be annoying if MIL is retired with a mortgage free home, caravan, & is oh-so-busy playing bridge, whilst OP scrabbles round for bus fare and MIL crows about her free bus pass 'well I've worked for 30 years doncha know'...

Skatingfastonthinice Mon 05-Jan-15 11:38:27

So don't discuss work with her, it can be very tedious for other people if you bang on about boring things. Surely you could find something else to have conversations about?

LineRunner Mon 05-Jan-15 11:39:10

Don't understand.

haveatarday Mon 05-Jan-15 11:39:52

Its always her that asks how my job is going and comments on all the work on the dining table.

radiobedhead Mon 05-Jan-15 11:41:35

Op YANBU. My DM says similar to justify her big house, expensive car, loads of money and retiring at an obscenely young age. She worked hard but no harder than anyone else IMO. She got lucky, too.

ZanyMobster Mon 05-Jan-15 11:42:02

I don't really understand what is wrong with it unless you are having a dig at SAHMs?

My mum worked full time for about 15 years once me and my DB were at senior school, has worked part time for the last 5 years or so and worked part time for about 8 years once me and my brother started school. She also worked full time for 8 years before we were born. That doesn't really even equate to 30 years even though she is 59 now.

I cannot see how that is 'worse' than someone who has worked full time for 40 years by her age, just different.

I am 35, I worked full time for 7 years, had 5 years off with the DCs and have now worked part time for the last 5 years, I never intend to work full time again (professional stressful job) and hope to retire at 55/60 at the latest as DH is 13 years older than me. I would be furious if anyone felt it necessary to put me down as I do and have always worked hard at whatever I have done regardless of whether I am paid for it.

LineRunner Mon 05-Jan-15 11:42:57

Ah, so it's like she is trying to win a non-existent competition or justify something?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now