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to be concerned about dd failing..

(31 Posts)
fluffymouse Sun 04-Jan-15 22:54:18

So far dd, aged 4 and 3 months, only knows 3 letters, cannot count reliably, and does not recognise any numbers. She has absolutely no interest in learning, and is generally a very active child who hates to stay still.

According to eyfs she should be able to sound out and spell words and simple sentences before starting primary, as well as knowing numbers up to 20 and add 2 single digit numbers. This is miles away from where she is!

I thought she was young, and it would be wrong to pressure her she has no desire to learn. Nursery have reiterated to me the expected outcomes however, and I'm now worried about how far behind she is. However I remember I couldn't read or write myself till I was much older (6/7) and ended up doing very well in school and further education.

Should I be teaching her at home? I don't think she gets much out of preschool other than social skills.

Annunziata Sun 04-Jan-15 23:01:00

She's a baby still. I don't know what eyfs is but I can guarantee you whoever it was did not have children.

Don't worry flowers

Bluecarrot Sun 04-Jan-15 23:02:08

Learning doesn't have to be sitting down. Count steps, flowers, stones, swings etc read simple stories while pointing at the words as you say them etc. Play games at home where she had to match cards with letters of alphabet. But having matches across the room from each other so she has to run back and forth. If you have a large plastic tub, put san in bottom and have her draw shapes in the sand with her toes etc.

Nanny0gg Sun 04-Jan-15 23:02:31

I don't know about actively 'teaching' her, but do you talk to her lots? Count out her sweets with her? Count the stairs as you go up and down? Talk about colours? Play with letters so she can 'spell' or recognise her name and its initial letter sound?
What you have listed from EYFS is what they will teach her. Surely she's only had her first term in Reception? She'll come on leaps and bounds when she's ready. Just reinforce what they do.

Don't panic!

RafaIsTheKingOfClay Sun 04-Jan-15 23:02:37

She should know those things by the end of reception, not by the time she starts primary. That's well over a year away. If she knows a few letters now, she's doing much better than many children and there's still 9 months to go before she starts school.

She sounds like she's exactly where she should be.

Bluecarrot Sun 04-Jan-15 23:03:02

And I wouldn't be overly worried yet. Embrace her energy!

Waltonswatcher Sun 04-Jan-15 23:03:47

At four life should be about jumping . She's a baby . Read lots to her and relax . The rest will follow .

tiktok Sun 04-Jan-15 23:05:23

Eyfs is early years foundation stage.

If nursery have flagged up their concerns, then perhaps ask them what sort of input you could have at home.

But I think you are wrong that any actual reading in the way you describe is expected at the start of primary. Spelling words and sounding out sentences? Def not.

dietcokeandwine Sun 04-Jan-15 23:07:09

What Rafals said, basically.

They look for them to be doing the things you have detailed in your OP (reading simple words and sentences, numbers to 20 etc) by the end of reception. Not before they start.

Relax and have fun and enjoy your dd. She is not failing or behind in any way! It will click when she is ready.

Goldmandra Sun 04-Jan-15 23:08:43

She should be learning what she is interested in learning and the best way to switch her off is to try to get her to do something she doesn't want to do.

Drip feed the information by counting stairs out loud, labelling letters, following text with your finger but don't create expectations.

Children who do well academically are the ones who are enthusiastic and resilient in their learning and feel driven to find out about things that interest them. When she is ready to learn about counting and letters she will be interested and enjoy it. In the meantime let her follow her own interests. It is completely inappropriate to set targets for children this age.

fluffymouse Sun 04-Jan-15 23:10:41

She is an autumn baby so hasnt started reception yet. What realistically should she know then before reception starts?

We have lots of number and letter related toys, and try to point out letters and numbers in daily activities.

I don't want her to hate learning so am reluctant to force it.

steppeupunderthemisletoe Sun 04-Jan-15 23:11:08

there are many children who start reception not knowing much of this.
If she is active and doesn't like book based learning then don't make her at this age, go with the suggestions above about counting stepping stones and stairs.

Talk talk talk, nursery rhymes are great, use lots of initial sounds, make funny sounds and sayings - have a b-b-b-nana. ssssssssausages etc. Use her name as her first sound (as long as it is simple phonics) eg Tilly - comment on words that also start with T. If her name isn't phonetic, use M for Mummy or D for daddy. Oh look ddd doughnut sounds like dddddaddy.

It is much more important for her to count (jump one, two, three along the paving stones in the path) than for her to recognise numbers on paper. In fact it is important to focus on the aural stuff first and not go to paper too fast.

I am guessing from op that she is in nursery? So she will start school next sept? A lot will happen in the next year, have fun together!

AliMonkey Sun 04-Jan-15 23:11:53

Some children can do what eyfs says at that age. Most can't. If she still can't do most of them in a year's time she won't be the only one. You will though be amazed at how much progress she will make over the next year and particularly once she starts school.

Having said that, I would gently encourage her eg to learn to spell / recognise her own name (unless it is very long!) and do some fun counting things either using good counting related books or, given she likes to be active, things like counting jumps or throws or similar.

fluffymouse Sun 04-Jan-15 23:12:11

Phew at by the end of reception, preschool didn't give me that impression.

greeneggsandjam Sun 04-Jan-15 23:14:15

Make learning 'fun'. Look for numbers when out and about, on doors, buses, cars etc. Count anything and everything, socks, spoons, pieces of toast cut up, ducks in the bath when you are dropping them in, fingers etc. Just do it regularly without making a fuss over it and it will hopefully sink in over time, start with counting 1-3 items then build up to 5 gradually and then up to 10.

I shouldn't worry about recognising letters for now, certainly don't get stressed about any form of reading. Think about initial sounds of words, start with her name perhaps, whats the first letter sound? If its Emma, just say E, E Emma, E E Egg, stuff like that (say the sound not the 'name of the letter'), read simple books and run your finger along the words so she notices that print has meaning. Get her to make up stories from pictures.

RafaIsTheKingOfClay Sun 04-Jan-15 23:17:27

I would focus on speaking and listening skills, motor control (not necessarily with a pencil, playdough, threading beads etc all help with that), reading to her and talking about stories and personal independence skills - getting dressed, going to the loo, washing hands.

Basically talk to her a lot and encourage her to do things for herself. They won't really expect much in terms of academic stuff.

Jollyphonics Sun 04-Jan-15 23:18:03

Neither of my DC showed any interest in letters or numbers before they started school. I don't think they recognised any numbers before starting reception, and the only letter they recognised was the first letter of their names.

They are now both doing very well at school, and DS1 age 8 had the reading age of a 15 year old.

You're worrying too much.

We always had charts of numbers and letters on the wall in case they were interested, and counted stairs etc when walking, and obviously I read to them lots, but that was all.

HerrenaHarridan Sun 04-Jan-15 23:18:16

Don't force it!

Please please trust your instincts here. She sounds like she bright and interested and energetic, learning should happen through play at this age.

My dd knows her numbers because she was obsessed with umizoomis I picked it up and ran with it and ask her to do my counting. She can reliably go to six and randomly goes up to 13 but she doesn't recognise a single letter, she calls them numbers!

It sounds like you're alreading making counting a part of life, take every opportunity you can. Count the bananas into the basket, ask her to give all the people 2 chocolate buttons, make it useful, but don't make it stressful it WILL click when she's ready.

fluffymouse Sun 04-Jan-15 23:20:28

Thank you all for the reassurance.

wigglesrock Sun 04-Jan-15 23:21:07

My youngest is 3, almost 4 - she's in nursery school. At the end of nursery school (before she starts P1/ reception) the nursery school my children have attended go through a checklist that they'd like the kids to have achieved. This is mainly being able to take off/put on coats, use a coat peg, change shoes (not laces), independently go to the toilet, flush, wash hands etc, wait their turn, hop on one foot, kick/throw/catch a ball, use a knife and fork, help tidy up plates, clear the table after lunch, know shapes, recognise their name written down, know colours and count to about 20. Not recite up to 20 but be able to pick out 7 counters from a bag etc.

The nursery does stuff like pick out triangle shapes on your way home (road signs, arrows), nursery rhymes 1 2 buckle my shoe ....

m0therofdragons Sun 04-Jan-15 23:21:11

Before starting school she should know how to play with others, listen to instructions, go to the toilet and wash hands, eat with cutlery (for school dinners), sing, laugh and think of school as a fun place to be. Read to her so she loves books but don't force her to read so she hates them. Play number games she doesn't realise involve learning (count steps as you jump up them, blow bubbles and count how many you pop). Have fun and build a fun, strong relationship so she knows when things go wrong she can come to you, and when things go right she can celebrate with you.
My dtds will start school in Sept. It will be 2 days after they turn 4. They almost certainly won't be top of the class academically but they will know how to enjoy their childhood. .. The rest will follow.

mrsfarquhar Sun 04-Jan-15 23:31:14

I posted similar once (under a different name) about one of my DC at exactly the same age. he wasn't at all interested in all this 'make learning fun' stuff. The teachers found him quite amusing as he knew when he was being taught through play and would switch off. He was a small child and wanted to really play, at what he wanted to play. At the end of reception he was nowhere near reading. He turned a huge corner at 5.5 and now at just turned 6 he is fast catching up with the top of the class, reads fairly fluently and is showing a talent for maths, despite being unable to count to 20 a year ago!

2015 Sun 04-Jan-15 23:31:30

One of my DC taught herself all her letters and numbers from a computer program. She was obsessed with it.
Do you think that might be the type of thing she might like.

fluffymouse Sun 04-Jan-15 23:32:04

Thank you wiggles and mother.

Those lists are more reassuring. In terms if social and motor skills she is doing very well, so I have no concerns about those areas. Counting is something we can work on in a non-pressured way.

duchesse Sun 04-Jan-15 23:38:13

The EYFS is not fit to wipe one's bottom on. It is simply ridiculous and beyond achievable for most children.

FWIW, we deliberately sent out DD3 to a school where she would not learn the 3 Rs until she was 7. As it happens she is about to change to mainstream primary school, so will go to her next school aged 5 y 4 m unable to read, write or do any arithmetic whatsoever. She knows her letters and understands both the concept of reading and how to turn the letters into messages (ie writing). I think that she will learn very fast and catch up with the other children very quickly.

I can report back at regular intervals on her progress over the next few months if that can help.

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