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Re: Facebook relationship status

(15 Posts)
Angel1983 Sat 03-Jan-15 20:00:55

I met up with a friend recently. She has been dating a co-worker for about 6 months. They work in the same department so they haven't told anyone at work although I think she has met some of his friends.

My friend was upset about the fact that her boyfriend/colleague(!) wouldn't a) be her friend on FB and b) is listed as single.

My personal view is that FB is just a website and provided that everything else is ok with the relationship then she shouldn't worry too much. She is very upset though and feels he must be embarrassed by her.

What do you think? Is she being unreasonable to expect him to change his Facebook status?

Lunastarfish Sat 03-Jan-15 20:04:20

I wouldn't care if my DP didn't want to state he was in a relationship with FB but I would be concerned that he wouldn't be my friend.

usualsuspect333 Sat 03-Jan-15 20:04:28

Is she 16?

She's being ridiculous.

usualsuspect333 Sat 03-Jan-15 20:06:01

If they haven't told anyone at work,maybe he doesn't want the gossip that will happen if he adds her on FB.

TaliZorahVasNormandy Sat 03-Jan-15 20:07:21

If I got into a relationship, my first thought wouldnt be to change my status of FB. Nor would I be that bothered about being friends with them.

Frizzcat Sat 03-Jan-15 20:07:47

I'd say the relationship status is fair enough, because it isn't anyone's business and also because if they're trying to keep their relationship quiet you'd probably not want to draw attention to the fact you've started a relationship.

The friend thing however is odd IMO I'd be suspicious and annoyed with that.

PurpleSwift Sat 03-Jan-15 20:12:15

I'd be suspicious if he wouldn't accept her friend request.

Frizzcat Sat 03-Jan-15 20:18:35

Oh for ffs! Apologies for the absence of any grammar on my last post, pressed post instead of preview.

Purplepixiedust Sat 03-Jan-15 20:45:53

It doesn't seem unreasonable to expect him to be her friend on Facebook. I would probably feel a bit narked if it looked like he were putting himself out as single. Probably better to not show any relationship status though if not telling work people.

GingerbreadPudding Sat 03-Jan-15 20:45:54

My ex wouldn't 'friend' me on facebook. We were together four years. I snooped on his page and didn't find anything suspicious so I bought his various 'reasons.' Anyway, it turns out he was cheating on me for two years and I guess he didn't want anyone to let me know or for it to get out. There is no way I'd let this happen again.

AmyElliotDunne Sat 03-Jan-15 22:17:46

My dp added me on fb but didn't want to change his status until we'd been together a few months, which was fair enough. It did say to me that he was serious when he changed it, I can imagine if someone is seeing someone new every few months it's a bit of a joke if they keep changing their status every time they meet someone and then break up with them, so I don't think he's being unreasonable to leave it, however, there is another option which is to show no status, rather than single/in a relationship.

We recently had a bust up and I changed my relationship status to show nothing rather than single so as not to invite any comment. Having since made up, I haven't changed it back as I don't want it to be 'a thing'.

People use FB very differently - my dp has lots of people from work and his family on there, but he literally only posts the odd photo of his DCs once or twice a year. Whereas I post a lot more and check it regularly so it 'says more about me' than his does about him.

Other people might have more random friends, old school friends and use it more socially to meet people so it depends how this guy uses his page. You can't really expect him to act in any particular way, it doesn't really say anything about his intentions, just about how he views FB.

SinisterSantasBusyMonth Sun 04-Jan-15 00:03:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Birdsgottafly Sun 04-Jan-15 00:05:36

He's hiding something from someone.

She sounds like his dirty little secret.

SaucyJack Sun 04-Jan-15 00:08:57

I know FB means different things to different people..... but I couldn't imagine dating someone who wouldn't even add me as a friend.

Just very very strange:

sebsmummy1 Sun 04-Jan-15 00:09:47

Perhaps he doesn't want to add her as a friend as he feels she could let the cat out of the bag with her comments on his posts.

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